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Clever One-Liners


bgavin

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"The Liberals have trashed California and Oregon so badly, even the water is leaving."

I saw this in a news article about the CA-OR drought, worst in 127 years in the Klamath County area.

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"We had a beautiful military wedding, well let just say there were guns there."

Red Skelton

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Mmmm, more "spicy" than "clever' but here is my entry:  Your sister likes it.

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I'm still a big fan of OLG's signature one- liner:

 

Having you along is like losing two good men.

 

 

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You are like the son I never wanted to have.

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27 minutes ago, Dusty Boots said:

You are like the son I never wanted to have.

One of my daughter's friends is a lesbian.. I tell her she's my other son.  She likes that.

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My favorite one liners:

What greater gift than the love of a cat. Charles Dickens
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. Marilyn Monroe
I would much rather be a political prisoner than a slave. Dean Garrison
If you would know a man, observe how he treats a cat. Robert A. Heinlein
The coldest depth of Hell is reserved for people who abandon kittens. Heinlein
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. Benjamin Franklin
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. Mark Twain
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

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4 hours ago, Capt. R. Hugh Kidnme said:

I'm still a big fan of OLG's signature one- liner:

 

Having you along is like losing two good men.

 

 

Lumpy liked it so much when someone said that to him that he decided to keep it as his signature line.

kR

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"No matter how thin you slice the baloney, you can still throw a brick through a plate glass window."

This came to me from an IBM'er named Davey O'Rourke.
We worked together in the '80s at Falcon AFB doing the mission support thing.

I have used his quote many times.. it is a great ice breaker or obfuscator.

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Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. 

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When I asked you "How stupid can you be?" it wasn't a challenge.

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12 hours ago, Waxahachie Kid #17017 L said:

I may be schizophrenic....but at least I have each other.

 

 

I always thought the Air Force should have used schizophrenics in certain areas where "No Lone Zone, Two Man Policy" was in effect. (Two persons with equal training on a task had to be within sight of each other, in places like missile launch facilities, etc.) Would have cut the number of personnel by half! :rolleyes::wacko:

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I'm surprised nobody has yet quoted the all-time master of one-liners and epic put-downs, "Dirty Harry" Callahan.

 

Harry: "Sergeant, do you have any kids?"

Sergeant: "Nope."

Harry: "Lucky for them...".

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