bgavin 2,025 Posted May 15 Share Posted May 15 "The Liberals have trashed California and Oregon so badly, even the water is leaving." I saw this in a news article about the CA-OR drought, worst in 127 years in the Klamath County area. 3 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Subdeacon Joe 30,932 Posted May 15 Share Posted May 15 As bright eyed and bushy Tailed as a squirrel on crystal meth. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trailrider #896 2,063 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 Many people are leaving California. Unfortunately they may be coming to Colorado! And they already Californicated it. 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
T.K. 34 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 "We had a beautiful military wedding, well let just say there were guns there." Red Skelton 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sixgun Sheridan 4,704 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 I was wondering why the Frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger... then it hit me. 1 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 4,775 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 Of all the martial arts, karaoke inflicts the most pain. 2 1 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tom Bullweed 537 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. 2 1 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Joeronimo Caffiend 169 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 Mmmm, more "spicy" than "clever' but here is my entry: Your sister likes it. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Calamity Kris 2,386 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. 5 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pat Riot, SASS #13748 33,587 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 “The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.” Hunter S. Thompson 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bgavin 2,025 Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? 1 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 7,911 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 For a particularly loud guy in a guy in a nearby cube, “are you using the telephone or talking direct?” 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Capt. R. Hugh Kidnme 1,391 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 I'm still a big fan of OLG's signature one- liner: Having you along is like losing two good men. 1 2 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dusty Boots 275 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 You are like the son I never wanted to have. 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bgavin 2,025 Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 27 minutes ago, Dusty Boots said: You are like the son I never wanted to have. One of my daughter's friends is a lesbian.. I tell her she's my other son. She likes that. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 7,562 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 My favorite one liners: What greater gift than the love of a cat. Charles DickensWomen who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. Marilyn MonroeI would much rather be a political prisoner than a slave. Dean GarrisonIf you would know a man, observe how he treats a cat. Robert A. HeinleinThe coldest depth of Hell is reserved for people who abandon kittens. HeinleinAny fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. Benjamin FranklinWhen a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. Mark TwainNothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. Martin Luther King, Jr. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L 2,356 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 You never know if a man with an eye patch is winking at you or just blinking. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 4,305 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 I've got my wife trained exactly the way she wants me. 1 2 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kid Rich 960 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 (edited) 4 hours ago, Capt. R. Hugh Kidnme said: I'm still a big fan of OLG's signature one- liner: Having you along is like losing two good men. Lumpy liked it so much when someone said that to him that he decided to keep it as his signature line. kR Edited May 16 by Kid Rich 1 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 1,225 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 Character is doing the right thing when nobody can see you. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bgavin 2,025 Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 "No matter how thin you slice the baloney, you can still throw a brick through a plate glass window." This came to me from an IBM'er named Davey O'Rourke. We worked together in the '80s at Falcon AFB doing the mission support thing. I have used his quote many times.. it is a great ice breaker or obfuscator. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sedalia Dave 15,658 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 (edited) “You can vote yourself into socialism, but you have to shoot your way out of it” Edited May 16 by Sedalia Dave 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hendo 1,148 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Waxahachie Kid #17017 L 1,325 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 I may be schizophrenic....but at least I have each other. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DeaconKC 2,939 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 When I asked you "How stupid can you be?" it wasn't a challenge. 1 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JD Lud 352 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?" Galatians 4:16 2 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Major General Shagnasty 140 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 This is the craziest planet I have ever live on. 1 2 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 1,225 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 I work harder in one day by accident than you do in a week on purpose. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trailrider #896 2,063 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 12 hours ago, Waxahachie Kid #17017 L said: I may be schizophrenic....but at least I have each other. I always thought the Air Force should have used schizophrenics in certain areas where "No Lone Zone, Two Man Policy" was in effect. (Two persons with equal training on a task had to be within sight of each other, in places like missile launch facilities, etc.) Would have cut the number of personnel by half! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Original Lumpy Gritz 7,803 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 22 hours ago, Kid Rich said: Lumpy liked it so much when someone said that to him that he decided to keep it as his signature line. kR IIRC, I heard it in the movie, Dirty Dingus Magee OLG 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE 2,052 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 It's not the worlds greatest ceiling, but it's up there. 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sixgun Sheridan 4,704 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 I'm surprised nobody has yet quoted the all-time master of one-liners and epic put-downs, "Dirty Harry" Callahan. Harry: "Sergeant, do you have any kids?" Sergeant: "Nope." Harry: "Lucky for them...". 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
irish ike, SASS #43615 1,416 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 On 5/15/2021 at 6:09 PM, Trailrider #896 said: And they already Californicated it They moved to Nevada and made us a blue state. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Go West 522 Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 The faster I go, the behinder I get. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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