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Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

Territorial Governors
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Everything posted by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

  1. A Scottish guy wanted a donkey for his young son....he spotted an advert for one for sale so went along to have a look at it. When he got to the farm the farmer told him. 'I'm really sorry...I'm afraid the donkey died last night'... 'OK....so how much are yee asking for it'? 'Sorry? I just told you it's dead'! ‘Aye...I heerd yee...so how much d'yee want fer it'? Very patiently the guy explains very slowly. 'The....donkey...is ...dead'. 'AYE...I heerd yee!...Look...I'll give yee £20.00 for it...noo is it a deal or no'? So the farmer asks ( as you might ). 'what the hell are you going to do with a dead donkey'? 'I'll sell it'!... 'b..b...you can't sell a dead donkey'! 'Watch me'. So he loads up the dead donkey and goes on his way. A month or so later the farmer bumped into the guy at the local market. 'How did you get on with the Donkey'? 'I did very well...I got over £6000.00 fer it'! 'WHAT!? How the hell did you do that'!? 'I sold raffle tickets at £10.00 each...I sold 650 of 'em'! 'Sweet Jesus!...didn't anybody complain that the poor bugger was dead'? 'Aye...the guy that won did...so I gave him a refund'.
  2. On April 18, 1942, 16 American B-25 bombers, launched from the aircraft carrier USS Hornet 650 miles east of Japan and commanded by Lieutenant Colonel James H. Doolittle, attack the Japanese mainland. The now-famous Tokyo Raid did little real damage to Japan (wartime Premier Hideki Tojo was inspecting military bases during the raid; one B-25 came so close, Tojo could see the pilot, though the American bomber never fired a shot)—but it did hurt the Japanese government’s prestige. Believing the air raid had been launched from Midway Island, approval was given to Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto’s plans for an attack on Midway—which would also damage Japanese “prestige.” Doolittle eventually received the Medal of Honor Conceived in January 1942 in the wake of the devastating Japanese surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, the “joint Army-Navy bombing project” was to bomb Japanese industrial centers, to inflict both “material and psychological” damage upon the enemy. Planners hoped that the former would include the destruction of specific targets “with ensuing confusion and retardation of production.” Those who planned the attacks on the Japanese homeland hoped to induce the enemy to recall “combat equipment from other theaters for home defense,” and incite a “fear complex in Japan.” Additionally, it was hoped that the prosecution of the raid would improve the United States’ relationships with its allies and receive a “favorable reaction [on the part] of the American people.”. Originally, the concept called for the use of U.S. Army Air Force bombers to be launched from, and recovered by, an aircraft carrier. Research disclosed the North American B-25 Mitchell to be “best suited to the purpose,” the Martin B-26 Marauder possessing unsuitable handling characteristics and the Douglas B-23 Dragon having too great a wingspan to be comfortably operated from a carrier deck. Tests off the aircraft carrier Hornet (CV-8) off Norfolk, and ashore at Norfolk soon proved that although a B-25 could take off with comparative ease, “landing back on again would be extremely difficult.” The attack planners decided upon a carrier transporting the B-25s to a point east of Tokyo, whereupon it would launch one pathfinder to proceed ahead and drop incendiaries to blaze a trail for the other bombers that would follow. The planes would then proceed to either the east coast of China or to Vladivostok in the Soviet Union. However, Soviet reluctance to allow the use of Vladivostok as a terminus and the Stalin regime’s unwillingness to its neutrality with Japan compelled the selection of Chinese landing sites. At a secret conference at San Francisco, Lieutenant Colonel James H. Doolittle, USAAF, who would lead the attack personally, met with Vice Admiral William F. Halsey, Jr., who would command the task force that would take Doolittle’s aircraft to the very gates of the Japanese empire. They agreed upon a launch point some 600 miles due east from Tokyo, but, if discovered, Task Force 16 (TF-16) would launch planes at the respective point and retire. Twenty-four planes drawn from the USAAF's 17th Bombardment Group were prepared for the mission, with additional fuel tanks installed and “certain unnecessary equipment” removed. Intensive training began in early March 1942 with crews who had volunteered for a mission that would be “extremely hazardous, would require a high degree of skill and would be of great value to our defense effort.” Crews practiced intensive cross-country flying, night flying, and navigation, as well as “low altitude approaches to bombing targets, rapid bombing and evasive action.”
  3. John Ford liked to bully actors on the set, and "Stagecoach" (1939) was no exception. At one point, he said to Andy Devine, "You big tub of lard. I don't know why the hell I'm using you in this picture." Undaunted, Devine replied, "Because Ward Bond can't drive six horses." Likewise, he attacked Thomas Mitchell, who eventually retorted, "Just remember: I saw [Ford's earlier film] 'Mary of Scotland' (1936)," effectively humbling the director. Worst of all was Ford's treatment of John Wayne. He called him a "big oaf" and a "dumb bastard" and continually criticized his line delivery and manner of walking, even how he washed his face on camera. However, at least part of this was to provoke the actor into giving a stronger performance. Claire Trevor recalls how Ford grabbed Duke by the chin and shook him. "Why are you moving your mouth so much?" he said. "Don't you know you don't act with your mouth in pictures? You act with your eyes." Wayne tolerated the rough treatment and rose to the challenge, reaching a new plateau as an actor. Ford helped cement the impression that Wayne makes in the film by giving him plenty of expressive reaction shots throughout the picture. Stunt coordinator Yakima Canutt explained how the stunt was accomplished where, as an Apache warrior attacking the stagecoach, he is "shot," falls off his horse, and then gets dragged underneath the stagecoach: "You have to run the horses fast, so they'll run straight. If they run slow, they move around a lot. When you turn loose to go under the coach, you've got to bring your arms over your chest and stomach. You've got to hold your elbows close to your body, or that front axle will knock them off." After the stunt was completed, Canutt ran to Ford to make sure they got the stunt on film. Ford replied that even if they hadn't, "I'll never shoot that again." Asked why, in the climactic chase scene, the Indians didn't simply shoot the horses to stop the stagecoach, Ford replied, "Because that would have been the end of the movie." In addition, Apaches would have stolen the stagecoach horses rather than killed them because, in their culture, horses were valuable in calculating a warrior's worth.
  4. On 19 April 1943, a train carrying 1,631 Jews set off from a Nazi detention camp in Belgium for the gas chambers of Auschwitz. But resistance fighters stopped the train. One boy who jumped to freedom that night retains vivid memories, 70 years later. . In February 1943, 11-year-old Simon Gronowski was sitting down for breakfast with his mother and sister in their Brussels hiding place when two Gestapo agents burst in. They were taken to the Nazis' notorious headquarters on the prestigious Avenue Louise, used as a prison for Jews and torture chamber for members of the resistance. From there, Simon and his mother and sister were transferred to the Kazerne Dossin, a detention camp 30 miles away in Mechelen, Flanders, they were deported to Auschwitz on the 19th April. Soon after leaving Mechelen, the 20th convoy was attacked by three young members of the Belgian Resistance armed with one pistol, red paper and a lantern. They made a red light, a sign for danger ahead, forcing the train driver to brake sharply. This was the first and only time during World War II that any Nazi transport carrying Jewish deportees was stopped. Robert Maistriau, one of the resistance members, recalled that terrifying moment later in his memoirs. "The brakes made a hellish noise and at first I was petrified. But then I gave myself a jolt on the basis that if you have started something you should go through with it. I held my torch in my left hand and with my right, I had to busy myself with the pliers. I was very excited and it took far too long until I had cut through the wire that secured the bolts of the sliding door. I shone my torch into the carriage and pale and frightened faces stared back at me. I shouted Sortez Sortez! and then Schnell Schnell flehen Sie! Quick, Quick, get out of here!" After a brief shooting battle between the German train guards and the three Resistance members, the train started again. Some had escaped from the opened wagon and the mood among the remaining deportees had changed. Those who had dreamed of escape suddenly become more determined and more desperate. A policeman, Jan Aerts had guessed Simon came from the Auschwitz convoy. The bodies of three escapees were lying in the police station at that very moment. However, Aerts had no intention of betraying Simon. His wife fed him and gave him clean clothes. Aerts arranged for Simon to catch a train back to Brussels where he arrived that evening. Simon was reunited that night with his father, a shopkeeper, although they spent the remaining years of the war hidden separately by Catholic families. The 20th convoy was unique in that there was an attempt to rescue the deportees. It was unique in being the only convoy from which there was what could be called a mass breakout. According to some sources, it was also unique in that although 70% of the women and girls were killed in the gas chambers immediately on arrival, the remaining women were sent to Block X of Birkenau for medical experimentation. As for the three young Belgian Resistance members who stopped the train, Youra Livschitz was captured later and executed. Jean Franklemon was arrested soon after and sent to Sachsenhausen concentration camp, where he was freed in May 1945. He died in 1977. Robert Maistriau was arrested in March 1944. He was liberated from Bergen-Belsen in 1945 and lived until 2008.
  5. What’s the key to its longevity? Paint and grease?
  6. My landlady, Morgan, is the city’s only female firefighter. I had trouble replacing a lightbulb, just never got it lined up right. Morgan was coming by today so I asked her to try. While she was doing it she said, “how many firefighters does it take to…”
  7. It’s like Scotty on Star Trek. Declare something to be really hard then exceed expectations so you look like a genius.
  8. Relevant Things that have gone up lately… labor costs, parts costs, salaries of insurance execs.
  9. After being wounded and captured during Pickett’s Charge at Gettysburg, Captain Benjamin Farinholt was sent a prisoner of war camp on Johnson’s Island in Ohio. There he and his fellow prisoner John Latane devised a daring escape plan. Latane somehow fashioned an imitation Federal uniform, which Farinholt put on underneath his Confederate uniform. When the men were sent out on a work detail to break ice, Farinholt slipped off his Confederate clothes and walked away, right under the eyes of his guards. He made his way back through the lines to Virginia, and possibly in recognition of the trials he had already endured, was assigned command of the tiny garrison guarding the Staunton River Bridge, a place where he likely assumed he would not see action again. But in June 1864 General Grant dispatched a force of 5,000 cavalry with instructions to destroy the bridge. When Farinholt received word that the raiders were coming, he recognized how desperate his situation was. It was absolutely essential that the bridge be held; if it was destroyed, the lifeline to Petersburg and Richmond would be severed. But he only had 296 men in his garrison—far too few to hold off the Federals. So Farinholt sent an urgent appeal throughout the surrounding countryside, calling on any man who could shoulder a gun to join him at the bridge. In all, 642 citizens and soldiers answered Farinholt’s call—guards from the Danville prisons, invalids, convalescing wounded, and soldiers home on furlough, along with about 500 local citizens--boys too young and men too old for regular service, bringing along whatever firearms they had. For this reason, the Battle of Staunton River Bridge is sometimes called “The Battle of Old Men and Young Boys.” For long afterwards it was remembered locally as “the day everybody went to the bridge to fight.” The defenders dug in hastily and awaited the Federals' arrival. On the afternoon of June 25, the Union forces, 5,000 cavalry with 16 pieces of artillery, arrived and began shelling the bridge and the Confederate defenses. In the ensuing battle the Federals charged the Confederate position four times, and were each time driven back. Finally, with Confederate cavalry rapidly advancing on their rear, the Federals had to give up the attack. The bridge had been saved and the local men and boys were welcomed home as heroes. Farinholt became a successful businessman after the war. He died in King William County, Virginia at age 80, on December 24, 1919, one hundred four years ago
  10. proper Englishman, wandering the heaths of Scotland, walks into a pub. “My good man,” he says. “I hear you have 100 year-old Scotch. I would love a bit.” The pub owner takes down a glass and pours an ounce. After a sip, the Englishman says, “Oh my. My dear fellow! That is 20 year-old Scotch! I am here for the 100 year-old!” The pub owner shakes his head, pulls another glass and bottle, and pours the libation. the Englishman takes a sip and declares: “Oh! No! That is 50 year-old Scotch. I want the 100 year-old one. You have it, haven’t you?” The pub owner, now cowed, pulls down another glass and a dusty bottle. He wipes off the bottle and pours it into the glass. The Englishman takes a sip and sighs. “Ah. Now that’s the right stuff! Glorious!” The man next to him nudges him and points to the glass he has pushed over. “Try that!” The Englishman takes a sip and spits it out. “Plah! That’s pi55!” The man replies: “Now tell me how old I am!”
  11. It was very popular on the radio one year when I was driving across Texas.
  12. I read this one a while ago. It was in Arkansas, in the first grade the teacher and janitor took the kids to their respective restrooms and showed them how to use flush toilets and urinals.
  13. By now the Russians know that we tapped their military comm cable in the Sea of Japan near Vladivostok but it was secret for many years.
  14. I never answered the phone, but no and no.
  15. That’s the first thing you notice? Better man than I. Actually the first thing I notice is where the weapons are pointed, same thing in a kitchen, I look for the weapons, even if they are knives, and I try to be on the end so the knives are only on one side. Then, I look at other things. ))))
  16. 2011. How is it different from 1911? looks like her booger finger is dangerously close to the slide
  17. Usually I’ll just take the off ramp and the corresponding on ramp. I recall one confusing exit fubar where the matching on ramp required executing at least three cloverleafs to get back to where I was going. if traffic is Morse code like rather than busy signal, I have pulled into the gore and stopped with flashers to wait for a clump to go by.
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