J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 I have a relatively minor low risk surgery coming up next week. Nonetheless, I have prepared a will and a Durable Healthcare Power of Attorney. The last thing I completed is an instruction list for my sons on where the insurance policies are, where all the vehicle titles are and how to get into the gun safes etc. I'll be leaving it all with an attorney friend in the event anything unexpected happens. I've tried to tell my sons how I feel about them, and I think they know. But as I finalize a letter I hope they never read what else do any of you recommend I put in the final letter? As to each of you-if things go bad, I want you to each know that the SASS family has been very influential in my life and I appreciate each of you-especially the ones I have picked on and insulted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 I will say a little prayer for you, Mark. Regarding the letter...you might want to make a note that you are obligated to buy drinks in the Saloon for ever and ever if things don't go as planned. At first this might shock your family until they figure out what the Saloon is all about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted October 7, 2020 Author Share Posted October 7, 2020 Thanks Pat, but I'm low on virtual saloon currency and I don't know if dead men get credit. Thanks for the prayers too, though I'm not much into that myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 I'm in on the Prayers, Mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 I'm in for prayers too. In the event something bad happens I'll have Bottles put the first week of celebrating mourning on my tab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Hey Mark, I just got an E-mail from up yonder. It said, pray harder, that I had a lot of ground to cover. What have you done, Son? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 It always pays to be prepared for any eventuality, but nobody should kid themselves. Death can come anytime, even to young and perfectly healthy people. Every single day you pass other people by mere inches at a combined 100 mph simply assuming they're going to keep their vehicle in their lane. I wouldn't get too worried about the surgery, as it's surely for a good reason and meant to increase your expected round count. Yes they're always a risk, but so is everything else in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Hello Mark. I applaud your desire to write this letter for your sons. It is something I’ve contemplated myself for my four children. You asked what suggestions we might have for you to put in that letter. I think my best idea would be for me to tell you what I might put in my letter were I in your shoes. I am 55 years old, and between my wife and me we have four children ages 26 through 30. At every stage I have tried to share with my kids lessons that I learned when at their age. What was life like for me as a teenager, a college student, a young adult, or newly married with a child? What thoughts could I share with them so they wouldn’t have to re-learn the mistakes that I made? if I wrote the letter right now, the first several paragraphs would focus on events from my 30s, which is the phase they’d be entering. A divorce. A radical spiritual growth. Job changes and advances. Ethical challenges at work as my jobs were changing. How I looked at my job in different ways. I would tell my children to not let their children, my grandkids, rule the family schedules with 1000 extracurriculars. I would want them to be active, but children should be part of a family, not a family existing to support a child’s extracurriculars. as I wrote about my 40s, I would tell my children to be honest about their priorities and focus on what is important to them. Don’t spend a lot of time worrying about what society says they should be. Make sure they go to a lot of middle school and high school concerts and sporting events. They were some of the highlights of this stage of my life. go to grad school or some sort of advanced training if they haven’t done so already. This is the time of life to stretch yourself and enjoy new challenges. don’t ever forget about the spouse you have been with this far. You are setting the stage for the next phase of life, commonly called the empty nest. Don’t arrive there as strangers. Tell your teenage kids to take care of themselves for the evening and go out on a date. Get a hotel room and spend the night naked together. Your kids will understand. In their 50s. My kids will be moving into children’s college life and empty nest with their spouse. Do not be afraid to let go, and to not be a helicopter parent. Invite your kids home for weekends and invite their friends. You might find that your children have become pretty neat young adults and fun to hang around with. stay away from your college alumni website. It’s a narcissistic world of who has done whatwith their life and look at me. Be grateful for what you have your life and don’t compare yourself with others. well, I have rambled enough about how I would write the letter. I hope it has giving you food for thought. I wish you well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Business Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Hope all goes well and you recover quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted October 7, 2020 Author Share Posted October 7, 2020 49 minutes ago, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said: Hey Mark, I just got an E-mail from up yonder. It said, pray harder, that I had a lot of ground to cover. What have you done, Son? Not nearly as much as I want! I have been guilty of all the seven deadly sins, Not every one every day, but enough that if there is a God, she is probably disappointed in me. Lust Gluttony Greed Sloth Wrath Envy Pride Thanks all. Charley I am the same age, though my two boys are 19 and 21. I've been divorced for over 16 years. I have always tried to teach my children what was important in life, So far they have apparently listened enough to satisfy me. Thanks for the thoughts. WB, always a pleasure-thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Lust Gluttony Greed Sloth Wrath Envy Pride That's what makes us human. Anyone who has never felt any of the above is either a vegetable or a robot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428 Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Dont forget to remind your boys to delete your browser history without looking at it! Best wishes for your surgery! Be sure to listen to what your Dr says about after care, and do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-BAR #18287 Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Have a drink with them after you get home from the hospital. Such discussions are best in person. Good luck . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Count me in on the prayers. Hope all goes well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Three Foot Johnson Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Good luck! My dad passed at 59. His brother, my uncle, at 58. Their dad, my grandfather, at 63, I think. I start my 66th year in four months, and I contemplate that mortality thing every day now. When I pass, all I ask of my kids and grandkids is please make sure I don't vote Democrat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. R. Hugh Kidnme Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Prayers up for a great surgery and recovery. Tell your sons to be themselves. Nobody is better suited for it than them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 I'll keep you in my thoughts and meditations. As for letters, I have no good advice. I've contemplated those sorts of letters to my daughters, but have never done it. Maybe it is the lawyer in me, thinking of the worst, but let them know how to contact us here. But I prefer you to let us know how it goes yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Hangtree Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 You're going to do fine, J. Mark! Positive thoughts and prayer will get you through, bud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconKC Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Praying for you here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizPete Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 Wishing you all the very best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 Both our mom, and our dad, died suddenly and unexpectedly; mom at 74, dad a couple years later at 79. We are six children; many grandkids among us. We had no unfinished business, no 'baggage' with our folks, none of us at all. Not one of us had regrets about what might have been said or left unsaid when the unexpected came; though the deaths were sudden; still, everything was always on the table. We grieved, but we did not regret. I have had many friends and acquaintances who were left with the sense that reconciliations hadn't happened, things were left unsaid, unexplained, hurts unhealed, estragements unrepaired, on and on. I think a letter is not a bad idea. But living a family life like ours is good-- we were lucky and blessed, and we owe it to our parents. Six siblings, innumerable grandkids-- we've never had an estrangement at all, however short. Most often, you don't have the chance to write a letter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 seven deadly sins , I do my best to get to em every day , thinking I can add to that list CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 I ain’t sayin’ nothing!! J. Mark is a friend. I’m a bad example that he uses for reference!! If only the good die young, he may be close to immortal!! He’s mostly in good hands! That is, so long as you don’t count me!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bgavin Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 OP, you have satisfied Murphy. Same as taking a snake bite kit on a picnic, you have planned for the worst and hope for the best. By paying this to Murphy, he won't bother you. I wish you a speedy recovery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waxahachie Kid #17017 L Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 I will tell you the final line that I put in a similar letter to my son. The final thing I wrote was this: Do not let anyone, or anything, come between you and your faith. Keep the faith, to the end, and that way, we will be assured that we will see each other again, some day. If I am important to you, and if you love me, you will keep the faith." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted October 8, 2020 Author Share Posted October 8, 2020 5 hours ago, J-BAR #18287 said: Have a drink with them after you get home from the hospital. Such discussions are best in person. Good luck . Well, they are each 3-4 hours away at their various college, but I've seen them both in the last two weeks. We have no issues and I have raised far finer men than I ever could have expected. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts Blackwater, you may want to check your welder leads for firecrackers for now on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 Prayers up, Mark. In a last letter, "I love you" would be comforting to those left behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted October 8, 2020 Author Share Posted October 8, 2020 Started and ended that way. Thanks and hope you are well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 It's an important topic. A letter is good, but can never fully convey what needs to be said. In some ways it will always be somwhat stilted and fall short. Best to have it all said beforehand, in person, and, indeed, in many ways over the years. Twice I've faced this and said it in person, and to those I wasn't able to, it had already been said. That said, God bless you and good outcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tascosa, SASS# 24838 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 19 hours ago, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said: I'm in on the Prayers, Mark. Me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 I'll tell you what: when you get home I'll get together with you and we can work out what we need to do before the time comes. I started my list (finally) about three weeks before my pacemaker implant surgery. I'm almost 79 years old and suddenly feeling mortal. I've added my prayers and best wished to the others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba Bear, SASS #26793L Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 Good Luck, Prayers up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted October 8, 2020 Author Share Posted October 8, 2020 19 hours ago, Three Foot Johnson said: Good luck! My dad passed at 59. His brother, my uncle, at 58. Their dad, my grandfather, at 63, I think. I start my 66th year in four months, and I contemplate that mortality thing every day now. When I pass, all I ask of my kids and grandkids is please make sure I don't vote Democrat. My dad passed at 62, his dad at 63-my uncle was nearly 80 when he passed though and my maternal grandfather was 72 or 73. The women in the family live well into their 90's So I can relate. As to not allowing my corpse to vote democrat . . . I may have to add that to the letter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Business Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 I do understand the concerns and steps taken to make it less hard for your family. Yet I truly believe you will come out of this healthier and stronger. And since you may be laid up a bit, more time to post in the Saloon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 Hope ya heal up and hair over PDQ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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