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Things you won't hear a Redneck say...

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"Duct tape won’t fix that."

 

"We don’t keep firearms in this house."

 

"No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe."

 

"I just couldn’t find a thing to buy at Walmart today."

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I don't like sweet tea.

 

"Oh, you don't have to call me Ma'am (or Sir), Darlin', just use my first name."

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Still got all my teeth, no cavities either!

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Things you won't hear a red-neck say? Things like:

 

- What in the world does a pickup need THAT much ground clearance for?

 

- We need to find someone who's got a set of jumper cables.

 

- You're gonna need a tow truck to get your car out of that mud.

 

- Women are strong enough to open their own doors.

 

- If my neighbor needs a hand, his own family needs to help him 'cause it ain't my business.

 

- It's my right to sit here on my butt while they play the anthem.

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- Checkmate.

- Pardon me, but, do you have any Grey Poupon?

- I'd like a Zima, please.

- I can't go hunting this weekend, it's my wife's birthday.

- I never keep the fish, I only catch and release.

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...get that little TV that works off of that larger TV that doesn't work anymore

...did you guys watch "The Connors" last night

...is that gluten free

...I'm going to go with the eggshell lace draperies

...we should ban sugary drinks

...the Pledge of Allegiance has no educational value and is “reminiscent of totalitarian US regimes and colonialism.”

...I donated campaign money to politicians that were best friends with Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein

...you didnt build that

 

Edited by Chuck Steak
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  • I love neckties.
  • Less power is better.
  • I am sick of meat...give me the veggie plate.
  • Do you think I should use more product in my hair?

 

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"I prefer clean t-shirts with sleeves".

 

"The only shotgun I own is a fancy engraved English double".

.

Edited by Sixgun Sheridan
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When I was doing my Masters at Yale...........

I will have the Decaff, soy, caramal latte please

No bacon on that please

 

(we call them bogans)

 

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Speaking as a redneck that's half hillbilly, I always find these sort of lists amusing- since I know that if there's a tornado that traps the jokers in their homes, they get lost in the woods or stuck in the mud on the back side of no-where, it will be some of my redneck/hillbilly brethren that will show up with a chainsaw, a pack of bloodhounds or a jacked up 4x4 with a winch and tow chains to pull their butts out of trouble. 

 

And most of them will be insulted when you try to pay him for doing right.

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Damn well said, Johnny.

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52 minutes ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Speaking as a redneck that's half hillbilly, I always find these sort of lists amusing- since I know that if there's a tornado that traps the jokers in their homes, they get lost in the woods or stuck in the mud on the back side of no-where, it will be some of my redneck/hillbilly brethren that will show up with a chainsaw, a pack of bloodhounds or a jacked up 4x4 with a winch and tow chains to pull their butts out of trouble. 

 

And most of them will be insulted when you try to pay him for doing right.

 

My friend Smuteye is absolutely correct.  When the snit hits the fan, we rednecks don't call AAA to tow us out of a ditch, or wait on FEMA after a storm.  We roll up our sleeves, fire up the chainsaws and generators, and grill burgers for the first responders.

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1 hour ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Speaking as a redneck that's half hillbilly, I always find these sort of lists amusing- since I know that if there's a tornado that traps the jokers in their homes, they get lost in the woods or stuck in the mud on the back side of no-where, it will be some of my redneck/hillbilly brethren that will show up with a chainsaw, a pack of bloodhounds or a jacked up 4x4 with a winch and tow chains to pull their butts out of trouble. 

 

And most of them will be insulted when you try to pay him for doing right.

 

What's really sad is that if you bailed out some liberal tourist from NYC who got into trouble like that they'd still make fun of you afterwards for being a redneck. If there's one thing they can't stand it's somebody who takes care of themselves and doesn't need government assistance.

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You guys are correct, I've never said any of that stuff.

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I got too many guns     GW

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2 hours ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

 

What's really sad is that if you bailed out some liberal tourist from NYC who got into trouble like that they'd still make fun of you afterwards for being a redneck. If there's one thing they can't stand it's somebody who takes care of themselves and doesn't need government assistance.

Petty people live petty lives. 

 

They will lie to themselves and claim that those they encountered were the exception rather than the rules.

 

I can't help if they are gullible enough to believe the systematic lies they have been told for generations.  The 'redneck' stereotype has existed under various names since Colonial times.  Anything repeated for that long will be believed by the small and weak minded.

Edited by Smuteye John SASS#24774
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3 hours ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

 

What's really sad is that if you bailed out some liberal tourist from NYC who got into trouble like that they'd still make fun of you afterwards for being a redneck. If there's one thing they can't stand it's somebody who takes care of themselves and doesn't need government assistance.

 

That's all right.  It doesn't bother us one bit.  Even if they do think that we are ignorant, backwoods slugs . . . we'd still help out the poor little helpless government-dependent miscreants.  Then we'd wave as they drive off, laugh like hell, and go get a beer.  All in a days work for a redneck.

 

And BTW.  Rednecks aren't only in the South.  Some of the redneckyist folks I know are from rural Pennsylvania, central Ohio, Nebraska, and even out on Long Island.  Good folks, all of them.  We just have different accents.

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25 minutes ago, Marshal Hangtree said:

 

That's all right.  It doesn't bother us one bit.  Even if they do think that we are ignorant, backwoods slugs . . . we'd still help out the poor little helpless government-dependent miscreants.  Then we'd wave as they drive off, laugh like hell, and go get a beer.  All in a days work for a redneck.

 

And BTW.  Rednecks aren't only in the South.  Some of the redneckyist folks I know are from rural Pennsylvania, central Ohio, Nebraska, and even out on Long Island.  Good folks, all of them.  We just have different accents.

It's a state of mind, not a state of being.

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Boys pass me that "Beyond Meat Burger" and a Cream Soda ....

I think I made Too Much Smoke ....

 

 

Jabez Cowboy 

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I"ll be a takin that there Ugo.

 

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Hell no, I don't want any gravy--all I need on my biscuits is butter!

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I voted Democrat in the last election.

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Cop:  “you got any ID?”

 

Redneck:  “‘Bout whut?”

 

CB

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Bartender give me a Shirley Temple  to drink ! 

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"Would you bring me a wheat grass rather than sweet tea?"

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