Alpo

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims

Jerry Lewis might be the fastest of the old time Hollywood gunslingers. Get that gun out of the holster quick. Spin it around. Flip it in the air and catch it. But I bet in a real life gunfight he would lose. Because I don't think he has any clue what a gun is. Looking at that video where they throw it to him and he misses it and it bounces across the floor, for comedic effect. Where he tries to holster it and he drops it, for comedic effect. It's not a gun. It's a prop for his act.

That's interesting. I have always heard that the male crocodilian was a cannibal, and would eat the little fellas if he had a chance. Same like a boar hog that'll eat the piglets.

I am tired of correcting otto's minor stupidities. The four is on top of the R. If I tell it four and it types r, to hell with it. Y'all can figure it out.

I just saw this headline. What?? Dairy Queen is going out of business??? No. One particular store in Texas is being closed. They are doing road construction in front of the store and they estimate it will take r years to finish the road construction. So they are closing that store. But that headline sure sounds like DQ is going out of business next week.

A friend of mine was assaulted by her husband, and he was brought up for trial several times - always got it delayed for some reason or other. But I went down there every time to see what was going to happen. And I will go through the metal detector. And while I was going through the metal detector I would see lawyers going around the metal detector pushing metal hand trucks loaded with huge boxes of files. They could have been carrying under their suit coat. They could have had all kinds of guns in those file boxes. They could have had bombs in those file boxes. And nobody would know. Because they went around. But by God we were safe in the courthouse because my pocket knife had to be left in the truck!!

I need to clean my glasses. I read that as Who's chuckin' a SICKLE tomorrow... Could not figure out what a curved blade for cutting grain had to do with a 4-day weekend. And why you would throw it.

Is that a custom-made Hamilton, with a 1-ounce trigger pull?

That seems sort of dumb.

If you are in the military, and you get damaged, and the military doctors decide that you are TOTALLY AND PERMANENTLY DISABLED, and they give you a retired ID card because you get a medical retirement, and they give you a check every month because you are TOTALLY AND PERMANENTLY DISABLED. Did they ever recheck to see if the TOTAL AND PERMANENT DISABLEMENT has gone away? There is a book -PIONEER GO HOME - which was made into an Elvis movie - FOLLOW THAT DREAM. In the book Toby lifted a Jeep out of a mud hole, and hurt his back. In the movie Toby (Elvis) hurt his back in the first judo lesson. In both cases the doctors decided that Toby was TOTALLY AND PERMANENTLY DISABLED. In the movie Elvis explained how the second judo lesson put his back back in place but the doctors wouldn't believe him. They never explained in the book how come Toby's back wasn't hurt no more. But this just got me to wondering if the doctors would ever check to see if his back was still hurt. Now I know there is insurance fraud, where somebody will insist that he has been hurt and cannot work and the insurance company has to pay him forever and ever. And insurance companies try to get proof that these people are fakes so they don't have to pay them. But does the VA do anything like that?

I'm pretty sure it does not cost as much to fly to California as it does to fly to New Zealand. That should have been a clue.

Don't know. The oxygen mask obscured half of his face, including his mouth.

This is a television show. This is fiction. But I wondered. The patient is in ICU. The patient is in a coma. They are giving the patient oxygen. Would he have a nasal cannula? Or would he actually have an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth? In the show he has the oxygen mask, but he has been in ICU in his coma for about a week and that seemed a little strange to me. But I am not medical personnel.

That's one of them - if you don't speak Aussie it doesn't make sense - jokes. According to the pronunciation thing on wiki, that town - which looks like it should be pronounced carens - sounds like multiple Barbie boyfriends. Kens.

Now I am confused. I looked up the movie. Ricardo is supposed to be a bullfighter, but he does not wish to be a bullfighter. He wishes to be a musician. Esther is his twin sister, who wishes to be a bullfighter, and takes Ricardo's place. Do they got swimming pools in Bull rings in Mexico? Esther Williams make a movie without a swimming pool?? Inconceivable!

You hear about people getting confused. And, if you like me, you laugh at the stupidity of somebody getting these two entirely different countries confused. When I first saw this article this morning I thought I would post it in the Australian humor thread. A cow in Oz using tools. That's funny, right? Then I read again. Austria. Oops. https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(25)01597-0

Book I read, many years ago. Supposedly a true story. Early 1900s. Teenage girl and her little brother were lost in New York state in the Adirondacks. They spent the winter. The boy had a single shot 22 rifle. At one point they found a trappers cabin so they had shelter. There was no food. There was a shotgun, but no ammunition. There were empty shot shells. And there was a bear. Hibernating. She pulled the bullets from all of his 22s. Collected the powder. Punched the primer out of one of the shot shells and put a 22 case in the primer hole. Poured all the collected powder from the 22 shells down into the shotshell, and held it in place with some paper wadding. Melted the 22 bullets and somehow - I don't recall how she managed this - cast a slug. Put the homemade slug down on top of the paper wadding and added some wadding on top of that to hold it in place. Snuck up on the hibernating beer and shot it in the head. That gave them much meat, much fat which was needed to survive in the winter, and a bear skin which helped keep them warm. Didn't say how they tanned it.

Horror movie. Phantasm (??) I think (it's been a long time). Anyway. Kid is locked in a room. He has a shotgun shell, a claw hammer, a thumbtack, and tape. He tapes the thumbtack point to the primer, then tapes the shell/tack onto the face of the hammerhead, then slams the shell mouth onto the door lock as hard as he can with the hammer. The thumbtack explodes the primer which blows the lock out of the door.

I have heard of starting a fire under adverse conditions. You have your kindling and you have your tinder and you pull a bullet apart (yeah right, just pull that bullet right out of the cartridge case) and pour the gunpowder down on the tinder. Then you put the primed case back in your pistol, and shoot the powder. The primer flash will go out the barrel and ignite the powder and start your fire. I don't know if I believe that, but I've heard of it many times. Apparently this guy did not have a pistol.