Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

What is the best starting line you've heard?


Korupt Karl

Recommended Posts

'Your line' works when I forget the line or there is not line provided.

Occasionally I use 'with more misses than an all-girl's school, I'm ready'

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 110
  • Created
  • Last Reply

I always like to take the given line and change it up a little. You know, make it more personal. Totally confused a couple of TO's who just didn't understand my sense of humor. ;)

At the Michigan State shoot the year before last, they're were no lines at all. It was up to the shooter to say "ready or whatever they wanted. Our posse marshall, whose name escapes me at the moment was running the timer for me. I looked back at him and said," Why (?) you looked like someone just walked over your grave"!! He lost it! He had to wait a minute or so before he could proceed! :lol::lol:

Link to post
Share on other sites

We had one stage where the shooter was trying to escape the bad guys by dressing as a woman.

He had to wear a sun bonnet while shooting the stage.

The starting line was asking the TO: "Do I look pretty?"

All of the vamping, posing and facial expressions almost shut the shoot down. Twas a ball.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Best ones I've heard were made up by the shooters

 

"Do these holsters make my butt look big?"

 

On one stage the line was "Do the noises in my head bother you?"

When the TO's wife came up to shoot the line she used was "Do the noises in your head bother you?"

Link to post
Share on other sites

"...'ell no I ain't ready; but let's do this anyway!"

Link to post
Share on other sites

I will always tell a shooter "Korupt Karl is my hero" if someone asks me for the starting line.....

Link to post
Share on other sites

Or 'It's Karl! Hide the wimmins!"

and your livestock!!!!!!

 

love ya man!!!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

"Do you know who I am?!"

 

Yes, I do. "Il mio nome è Nessuno".

Link to post
Share on other sites

I would love to hear some from the show Firefly.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Several years ago, and I do mean several, when I was writing stages and wasn't feeling real creative, I would just have the starting instructions as "Say a line from your favorite Eastwood western".

 

One of our regulars came to the starting position, and when instructed to say his line, just spit.

Second best line I ever heard. The best was delivered by his wife, at another match, but that is a "You had to be there to appreciate it" sorta thing. ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Last year we had a Blazing Saddles themed shoot.

One of the stages started while sitting on a log in front of a fence holding a plate of beans.

The starting line was "How 'bout some more beans, Mr. Taggart?"

 

Well under a towel on the log was a fart pillow that went off when you sat down.

 

I was laughing so hard the whole time the posse was shooting, I'm still laughing now. :lol:

 

Thanks for a great shoot Wolff's Rowdy Rangers.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Uttered just before shooting Outlaw on a stage:

 

"Dang you, Blackwater!" :P:lol:

 

 

I can't remember his name but one cowboy yell' "This towns gonna burn" when he forgets the line.

Link to post
Share on other sites

In the spirit of "Blazing Saddles", years ago I did a side-match stage with a pocket pistol where the targets were empty 1 gallon cans of beans.

 

The starting line wasn't so much of a "line" as it was a "noise". When ready, you were instructed to give your best rendition of a "blowing a raspberry" or a Bronx cheer. In other words making a fart noise. There was even a 5 second bonus (deduction) possible for the shooter who gave the best rendition decided by the RO running the stage.

 

The um... "gentleman" who received the 5 second deduction was the only one who, shall we say, opted for realism. The RO said that it wasn't what the stage designer had in mind, but (to their credit) did say that the stage instructions never specified that the shooter must make the sound with their mouth.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm generally the first shooter on my posse (by choice). We had a shoot last year and because of my alias, I went to my standby line from Outlaw Josey Wales "Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms." Well, the rest of the posse decided to give me a hard time. Every one of them butchered the line into some form of "Buzzard eats worms" For the WHOLE final 3 stages!!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

"Well say hello to my little friend!"

 

"I'm gonna skin that smoke wagon and you see what happens!"

 

"Snakes! Why'd it have to be snakes!"

 

--

Actually might be fun to have an ending line after the run in order to stop the timer. Say something like: "That's all folks!"

Link to post
Share on other sites

I would love to hear some from the show Firefly.

I take it you've met?

 

The book is very specific about killing, but fuzzy about kneecaps.

 

There is a special place in hell...

 

Reavers!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I always like to sing a song that relates to whatever the start line is. (After all - I shoot B Western and I am a singing cowboy)

 

But on occasion I like to use my line if the TO is ugly (and they usually are)

 

"What a face....... What a figure...... Two more legs and you would look like Trigger"!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I always like to take the given line and change it up a little. You know, make it more personal. Totally confused a couple of TO's who just didn't understand my sense of humor. ;)

You mean like :

 

"You gonna whistle those pistols or pull your Dixie "

Link to post
Share on other sites

You mean like :

 

"You gonna whistle those pistols or pull your Dixie "

 

I'm making a note of that one. :D:lol::D

Link to post
Share on other sites

I would love to hear some from the show Firefly.

I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.

 

We're not gonna die. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.

 

Fully loaded, safety off. This here is a recipe for unpleasantness,

 

You know, not altogether wise, sneaking up on a fella when he's handling his weapon.

Link to post
Share on other sites

One cold morning with both hands on the hangman's noose............It's to cold to be well hung!

 

That was your finest hour. :lol:

 

At one of our annual Evil Bob matches here in GA, the author of such nonsense and twisted minded mirth, ole Badlands "Evil" Bob, has the starting line "One Three One, One Three One" and naturally the course of fire to start out is 2-1-2 with both your pistols and rifle! :D:D

 

Kajun

 

Yep, that's just EVIL. :o

 

 

Waimea

 

:FlagAm:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Heard this on the Cheyenne Show. Would make a great line.

 

"We are peace loving men, and we're willing to kill every last one of you to prove it."

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.