Alpo Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Book. Woman has anger and self-control issues. Seeing a therapist, who tells her to wait and count to ten before exploding. Next session. "How did you do?" She tells how a co-worker put something in the wrong place, again. "I wanted to yell and call her a stupid ________ __________ ____ , but I remembered what you said, and I counted to ten, and then asked her, 'Did your mother bathe in lead-based paint when she was pregnant with you?' " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 My nephew was several bricks short of a chimney when some similarly challenged member of the opposite gender married him. They proceeded to procreate and blamed all subsequent problems on lead paint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: My nephew was several bricks short of a chimney when some similarly challenged member of the opposite gender married him. They proceeded to procreate and blamed all subsequent problems on lead paint. I think they might be my neighbor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 4 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: several bricks short of a chimney I've not seen that one before. I must remember it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 1 minute ago, Subdeacon Joe said: I've not seen that one before. I must remember it. It’s an original. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Dumber than oatmeal Imis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 A few fries short of a Happy Meal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 And for the really dumb, a cheeseburger short of a cheeseburger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Dumber than a grubbin' hoe!! Dumber than a fishin' worm. Sharp as a bowling ball! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Dumber than a box of hair. Dumber than a bag of hammers. Dumber than the current politician of the 14th congressional district of NY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 15 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: My nephew was several bricks short of a chimney when some similarly challenged member of the opposite gender married him. They proceeded to procreate and blamed all subsequent problems on lead paint. Don't recall hearing it exactly like that, but for many years, I've heard..... "He/She is A few bricks shy of a full load". Lots of folks say... "their elevator don't go all the way to the top". ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Not the sharpest pencil in the cup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 1 hour ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: Don't recall hearing it exactly like that, but for many years, I've heard..... "He/She is A few bricks shy of a full load". Lots of folks say... "their elevator don't go all the way to the top". ..........Widder I know a few whose elevator is stuck in the basement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tall Tale Todd Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 "Dumb as a bucket of shrimp!" -Det Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) Bad Boys 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 My uncle liked to say "he's a can short of a six-pack". Not sure how common that one was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Old Man Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Dumber than a steel wheeled rake. Dumber than a box of rocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Not travelin with a full sea bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 not the brightest crayon in the box Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Not the sharpest spoon in the drawer. On the site that I argue politics, I have been known to ask someone that's angry if the left their crayons on the short bus again. For the record, Leftist trolls do NOT appreciate being called window licker for some reason. Also, don't mention their helmet, tell them when Kroger has tin foil on sale so they can freshen up their tin foil helmet liner or mention anything about their mom's basement apartment their job at the 7-11 or the laundromat and NEVER ask them about the data plan on their Obamaphone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 20 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: It’s an original. Too dumb to pee a hole in a snow bank. (Thanks, Dad. You gave me some good material to work with.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Too dumb to pour pee out of a boot, even if the directions were written on the sole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Dumber than a bag of hammers.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizPete Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 the wheels on their bus don't go 'round and 'round Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 Porch light's on but NOBODY'S HOME!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 Their stairway doesn't go all the way to the top. Their cornbread ain't done in the middle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 Motor's runnin', but transmission's not in gear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACKFOOT SASS #11947 Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 Dipstick doesn't reach the oil Blackfoot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Louis Suomi SASS #31905 Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 Her/his attic is empty. Her/his attic is filled with broken toys. STL Suomi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 He/she has the IQ of their shoe size. Missing a few dots on his dice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Creek Law Dog Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. If clues were shoes he would be barefoot. Doesn't know his azz from a hole in the ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bull Skinner Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 If his brain was dynamite it wouldn't tip his hat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 He/she isn't just clueless! They don't even SUSPECT anything!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloe Moe Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 Half a bubble off of plumb... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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