Tennessee williams 1,761 Posted May 13 I keep a few good insults handy for when Widder or people at work act up. Do yall have some on stand by? I aint saying you're stupid, you just have bad luck when you're thinking. You got so much hair, when you walk your dog, folks pet you first. I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is on overtime. 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Subdeacon Joe 18,399 Posted May 13 I see your reality check bounced. You ever consider thinking? You're not useless. You make a perfectly good horrible example. 1 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yul Lose 5,646 Posted May 13 You might have the desire to understand what I’m telling you but you don’t have the ability to understand what I’m telling you. If I wanted to hear you bitch I would have married you. 3 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PaleWolf Brunelle, #2495L 3,896 Posted May 13 4 3 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tyrel Cody 4,380 Posted May 13 18 minutes ago, Tennessee williams said: I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. I'm stealing that one. 1 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blackwater 53393 3,722 Posted May 13 Did your folks have any kids that lived?? I see you left your brain at home!! Are you under a doctor’s care??? 1 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth 6,119 Posted May 13 Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence? 3 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cowboy Small 125 Posted May 13 Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid ? 2 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Widder, SASS #59054 6,094 Posted May 13 I understand you and the Bunkhouse Boss have been married 30 years. She told me its the best 4 years of her life. ..........Widder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpy Old Man 144 Posted May 13 _____ You and the horse you rode in on. 1 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DocWard 4,192 Posted May 13 (edited) I was angry yesterday and came up with one out of the blue that will be added to my repertoire. "He couldn't find his [rear end] with both hands if you spotted him the first hand." Others include: "Why are you wasting my oxygen?" along with a few variations. "You're not the brightest bowling ball in the tool shed, are you?" "If you were any dumber, they wouldn't feed you, they'd fertilize you." "Do us all a favor and just stop talking. Edited May 13 by DocWard 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SHOOTIN FOX 226 Posted May 13 Does it tingle before you do something stupid or just whosh over you? 3 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 1,594 Posted May 13 If I had known this was gonna be a test I would have recorded all the ones said to me. Imis 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hashknife Cowboy 335 Posted May 13 Were your parents related? 2 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 397 Posted May 13 My favorite is by the Original Lumpy Grits who is absent here for some reason. 'Having you along is like losing two good men!' 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Turkey Flats Jack 419 Posted May 13 Well bless your heart 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Null N. Void 425 Posted May 13 Are you naturally this stupid or do you practice? 2 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Forty Rod SASS 3935 5,059 Posted May 13 1 hour ago, Hashknife Cowboy said: Were your parents related? Yeah, first cousins, but there's nothing wrong with me with me with me with me...... 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Forty Rod SASS 3935 5,059 Posted May 13 I told a woman in a parking lot that just because she was blond didn't mean there was law saying she had to be stupid. She just looked at me and said, "Huh?" Some people are great ads for retroactive birth control. A surprising number are elected officials. 1 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joe Cross, SASS #13848 L 50 Posted May 13 A lot of good starting lines here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blackwater 53393 3,722 Posted May 13 I have a special reply to obvious lines of BS!! ”Yeah!! And my @$$ is a Chinese typewriter!!” 1 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tennessee williams 1,761 Posted May 13 One I use on Widder quite regularly is "If you were any slower you'd need watering"! 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Widder, SASS #59054 6,094 Posted May 13 24 minutes ago, Tennessee williams said: One I use on Widder quite regularly is "If you were any slower you'd need watering"! When a feller has to pick on me just to make hisowndangself look better, then he is already in a bad way. ..........Widder 2 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pat Riot, SASS #13748 15,889 Posted May 13 (edited) I used to have a fairly decent library of “put downs” and insults, but I seem to have resorted to one word insults over time, like; Morons, Idiots, Dumbasses, Bureaucrats, Pinheads, Knuckleheads, etc... One word works, besides, they aren’t smart enough to retain any more than 3 syllables, tops! Calling “them” Mouth-breathers is about all they can handle. And don’t ever mention the word “syllables” around these folks. If they find out what it means they get really P.O.’d. It’s because they try to count syllables and listen at he same time...Bless their hearts. Drives ‘em nuts! Poor dumb bastages... Edited May 13 by Pat Riot, SASS #13748 Duh... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tequila Shooter 734 Posted May 13 When I was in the Navy I used quite a few since I was usually dealing with younger, junior folks. Like: Use that lump of $h1t 3 feet above your a$$ for something besides holding your hat. If they started with "Hey..." I'd quickly say Hay is the first step of horse$h1t, you want to continue this conversation. Did you swallow your chemistry set as a kid. Your a poster child for birth control. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tennessee williams 1,761 Posted May 13 2 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: When a feller has to pick on me just to make hisowndangself look better, then he is already in a bad way. ..........Widder We're not picking ON you Widder. We are picking WITH you. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Widder, SASS #59054 6,094 Posted May 14 48 minutes ago, Tennessee williams said: We're not picking ON you Widder. We are picking WITH you. But I'm a nice guy. One who sits quietly at the keyboard and spreads compliments and good tidings to all my Wire Pards. I'm even nice to all the lame brain knuckle headed idiots who never heed my advice..... ..........Widder 2 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Painted Mohawk SASS 77785 862 Posted May 14 Curiously asking a person I don't have much time for... So how tall are you anyway..they answer with their height 6'5'' or whatever it may be , why they ask ? Oh I didn't know they stacked s##t that high ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpy Old Man 144 Posted May 14 Dumber than a steel wheeled rake. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Bill Burt 2,317 Posted May 14 I wouldn't cross the street to piss on your head if it was on fire. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smoken D 1,258 Posted May 14 You flunked kindergarten, didn't you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Widder, SASS #59054 6,094 Posted May 14 1 hour ago, Smoken D said: You flunked kindergarten, didn't you. She was valedictorian in a class of ONE. ..........WIdder 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tennessee williams 1,761 Posted May 14 I gained so much weight during the quarantine, I walked in front of the TV and my wife missed 2 episodes of Andy Griffith. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tennessee williams 1,761 Posted May 14 You're uglier than a sackful of fried buttholes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tennessee williams 1,761 Posted May 14 You have mint breath. Mint to brush your teeth and forgot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
