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Tennessee williams

A few I keep handy

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20 hours ago, Tequila Shooter said:

When I was in the Navy I used quite a few since I was usually dealing with younger, junior folks.  Like:

 

Use that lump of $h1t 3 feet above your a$$ for something besides holding your hat.

 

If they started with "Hey..."  I'd quickly say Hay is the first step of horse$h1t, you want to continue this conversation.

 

Did you swallow your chemistry set as a kid.

 

Your a poster child for birth control. 

 

I had a First Sergeant that has a laundry list. The one that always comes to mind is that whenever someone would say "Top, I have a stupid question," he would stop them and say "There are no stupid questions, only stupid people asking questions." I've used this many times over the years.

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"Don't matter WHICH end is open!  Same stuff come's out either one!!"

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Posted (edited)

"That man is dumber than a day old monkey." 

from the numerous sayings of SFC Hooks.

 

I said, "I'm doing the best that I can."

SFC Hooks, "I was afraid of that."

 

SFC Hooks to those of us in his maintenance section,

"My God!  I been completely surrounded and overrun by incompetence!"

 

"Does insanity run in your family?"

- SFC Hooks

 

 

.

Edited by Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663
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A feather short of a cocky..

A Kangaroo loose in the top paddock..

 

 

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4 hours ago, Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 said:

"Does insanity run in your family?"

- SFC Hooks

 

Nobody in my family suffers from insanity. We all seem to enjoy it pretty well.

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On 5/13/2020 at 11:24 AM, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

I told a woman in a parking lot that just because she was blond didn't mean there was law saying she had to be stupid.

 

She just looked at me and said, "Huh?"

 

Some people are great ads for retroactive birth control.  A surprising number are elected officials.

Blondeness isn't a state of being, it's a state of mind.

 

 

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I banged my Shin Bone on a cast iron pump impeller casing.
The casing didn't give one little bit.

I gave a pained roar and proceeded to lay a rapid succession of Shakespearean insults upon its rusted carcass, starting with "Cad, bounder, blaggard, bugger, rascal, scoundrel, cur!  Bacon-fed caterpillar!  Whoreson kave!" -- and then it kind of got some altitude and continued with something about the illegitimate son of a Bessemer blast furnace ... there was silence in the shop when I finished ... no one had EVER heard me raise my voice, let alone cut loose with a good selection of profound language!

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One of the guys I used to work with would confront a person who demonstrated evidence of stupidity with, “Boy! You’re just eat up with the DUMBASS!!”

 

He would often describe them as “Dumber than a grubbin’ hoe!”

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I've often told people

 

"I found a pimple on my butt last night.  I named it after you.  Wanna meet him?"

 

But that's for friends.  I don't talk to people I don't like. 

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   You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering.

   Your face looks like it caught fire and someone beat it out with a high heel shoe.

   Please shut your mouth when you're talking to me.

   I'm busy right now, can I ignore you later?

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