Movies - Real Turkeys

[Subdeacon Joe 14,609]

So as not to take away from the comic/stupid movies thread, what real turkeys have you seen?  

One I caught, in Spanish, La Momia Azetca, has some of the worst acting I have ever seen.

 

Quote

• Experimenting in hypnotic regression to past lives, Dr. Almada discovers that his fiancée, Flor, is the reincarnation of an Aztec maiden who was put to death for loving an Aztec warrior, her body placed at the entrance to a hidden chamber in the Great Pyramid of Yucatan where the treasures of the Aztecs were hidden, and her lover mummified but cursed to remain alive and guard the treasure. With her recovered memories, Flor is able to lead Almada, his wimpish assistant Pincate, and her father to the now-skeletal remains of the maiden. Attached to them is a golden breastplate with a map detailing the route to the treasure. But to their horror, the party is intercepted by the mummified warrior, Popoca, and flee with the breastplate back to Mexico city. Popoca follows. In the meantime, Prof. Krup, an unscrupulous colleague of Almada's, recruits a gang of thugs, whom he leads from behind a mask and known only as "The Bat". Both Krup and his gang, and the mummy, converge on Flor's house to retrieve the sacred breastplate, which is in her possession...

  —Rich Wannen <RichWannen@worldnet.att.net>

• Dr. Almada attempts to prove his theory that people can be regressed to past lives by hypnotizing his lover Flor. Finding out that in a previous life Flor was the Aztec maiden Xochitl, killed and entombed for having an illicit affair with the warrior Popoca, Almada is able to find the tomb and with it two valuable pieces of jewelry, which he steals. His problems have just begun, however, as taking the jewelry triggers the revivication of Popoca, the living mummy.

  —Doug Sederberg <vornoff@sonic.net>

 

Even worse than it sounds.

 

 

[Smoken D 990]

Just these

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe 14,609]

53 minutes ago, Smoken D said:

Just these

 

 

 

 

Family photo?  

 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L 556]

 

[Trailrider #896 1,102]

The science-stupid movie "Ad Astra"!  Save your money!

[Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 4,143]

I'm almost embarrassed to mention this. I tried to watch a movie last night and was able to take about 20 minutes. I could take that much because of this. John Cleese, of course.

 

[Cat Brules 537]

 Subdeacon Joe said: 

 

“ But to their horror, the party is intercepted by the mummified warrior, Popoca, and flee with the breastplate back to Mexico city.”

 

—-   They should have fled to El Lay!!   Popoca wouldn’t have stood  a chance there! 

:-)  :-)

 

 

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783 1,364]

There's more, but these immediately come to mind:

 

Lust in the Dust

Zardoz

Prime Cut

Secretary

The Lobster

[Cypress Sun 933]

There Will Be Blood. Absolutely the worst movie I ever paid money to see.

 

Don't forget Hell To Pay. 

[Subdeacon Joe 14,609]

William Shatner, playing twin brothers.  
"White Comanche"

 

 

 

[bgavin 511]

I like Zardoz...

How about "Zotz", William Castle, 1962.
This came as a double feature with "The Tingler" from Netflix.

I had the original book "Zotz" and it was quite clever and well done.
The movie was so "1962.." and sucked.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 4,311]

I thought Ten was a zero.

[Alpo 3,419]

Guess I'm even stranger than y'all thought.

 

I liked Lust in the Dust. Poor Maria, who could not control the power of her thighs. Prime Cut, with a naked Sissy Spacek (hubba hubba). George is funny. The remake - with a different George - meh.

 

And I own Zotz - both the book and the movie. Enjoy them both.

 

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 2,681]

The Changeling.

 

Evidently, some folk think it's a classic.  I found it to be a classic bore.  Less than twenty minutes and I'm snoring.   

[J-BAR #18287 3,147]

I have tried several times to make it through “The Sound of Music”.  I must be the only person on earth to not like it.

[DocWard 3,370]

The most painful, awful, disappointment of a travesty called a movie it was ever my misfortune to see was Highlander 2

[Cat Brules 537]

 I have seen enough really bad movies that I block them out.  :-)

 

 But, the Kings of bad, stinker movies are those English movies.   They are so boring that they make you want to slash your wrists !  

 

You know the ones:

 Zero plot lines with the hero getting in his car and driving for 10 silent, no-dialog minutes of  screen time while he contemplates the universe.  Good grief!  How  do these people  convince others to ante up cash to make these dog movies? 

:-O

 

Cat Brules

[Forty Rod SASS 3935 3,846]

2 hours ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

I have tried several times to make it through “The Sound of Music”.  I must be the only person on earth to not like it.

Nooooo, you're not.

[Tyrel Cody 3,318]

2 hours ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

I have tried several times to make it through “The Sound of Music”.  I must be the only person on earth to not like it.

 

You sir, are not alone.

 

I don't even try at this point.

 

Also terrible movies:

 

The Gods must be crazy, 1 and especially #2.

 

It Could Happen to You(Nicolas Cage)  is the only movie I can remember walking out of the theater.

 

[Sedalia Dave 5,983]

Grandkids wanted to watch Puss In Boots. Let them go to a Red Box kiosk to get it. instead they got this stinker. The True Story of Puss 'n Boots. William Shatner is the voice for the cat. Bet he wishes his name was NEVER associated with it

 

 

Edited October 21, 2019 by Sedalia Dave

[Sedalia Dave 5,983]

They also brought home this stinker as well.

 

Jack the Giant Killer by The Asylum . An Asylum is where it belongs.

 

Edited October 20, 2019 by Sedalia Dave

[Smoken D 990]

6 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

Family photo?  

 

 

The out of town ones

[Utah Bob #35998 8,816]

4 hours ago, Alpo said:

Guess I'm even stranger than y'all thought.

 

I liked Lust in the Dust. Poor Maria, who could not control the power of her thighs. Prime Cut, with a naked Sissy Spacek (hubba hubba). George is funny. The remake - with a different George - meh.

 

And I own Zotz - both the book and the movie. Enjoy them both.

 

What’s Zotz?

 

[Utah Bob #35998 8,816]

Plan 9 from Outer Space is the king.

[Sedalia Dave 5,983]

About half the stuff George Clooney does.  Couldn't make it through. 

The American

Solaris

Batman and Robin

Others I don't remember

[Pat Riot, SASS #13748 12,280]

3 hours ago, Cat Brules said:

But, the Kings of bad, stinker movies are those English movies.   They are so boring that they make you want to slash your wrists

Amen!

[Pat Riot, SASS #13748 12,280]

Galaxy of Terror (1981)

 

That movie was awful. I have walked out of movies before but this one mesmerized me with stupidity. I couldn’t move. I needed to see if it got worse.  It did.

 

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0082431/

[Subdeacon Joe 14,609]

27 minutes ago, Utah Bob #35998 said:

What’s Zotz?

 

 

One of the wizardly sound effects in The Wizard of Id comic strip.

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783 1,364]

30 minutes ago, Utah Bob #35998 said:

What’s Zotz?

 

A skin condition.

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L 876]

Latitude Zero, with Cesar Romero

 

Secrets  Jacqueline Bissett

 

Both absolutely sucked...

[Utah Bob #35998 8,816]

35 minutes ago, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said:

A skin condition.

 

[Assassin 1,027]

22 minutes ago, Utah Bob #35998 said:

 

I remember those.

[Assassin 1,027]

Those Johnny Depp pirate movies are about the worst big budget movies that have no plot whatsoever. 

[Alpo 3,419]

2 hours ago, Utah Bob #35998 said:

What’s Zotz?

 

College professor gets ancient magical coin. Holding the coin, if he says Zotz, time slows down. If he points his finger at you, you feel great pain. If he points his finger and says Zotz, you died.

 

Naturally Russian agents want to get the coin.

 

 

[Tell Sackett SASS 18436 297]

6 hours ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

I have tried several times to make it through “The Sound of Music”.  I must be the only person on earth to not like it.

No you're not