Subdeacon Joe Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizPete Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 That would include every Presbyterian ever born. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 I resemble remark..... I been Southern Baptist all my life, well atleast the parts I've lived so far. P.S. - it helps to have more than ONE casserole dish..... Ya never know when you one is gonna get 'misplaced' during a 'Get Together'. ...........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabez Cowboy,SASS # 50129 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 To make a good Baptist, Ya need plenty of good strong Lye soap and a Scrub brush ,,,, then submerse them 3 times under .... So they can have a Clean Start .... Jabez Cowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wapaloosie73 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Them Baptist’s believe in going to church on Sunday for a really looooooong time. My wife is Catholic. We are going to church and the Baptist parking lot is full. We leave mass and their parking lot is still full. We get done with brunch? You guessed it..... the parking lot is full. Sunday service is an all day affair I’m guessing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 12 minutes ago, Wapaloosie73 said: Them Baptist’s believe in going to church on Sunday for a really looooooong time. My wife is Catholic. We are going to church and the Baptist parking lot is full. We leave mass and their parking lot is still full. We get done with brunch? You guessed it..... the parking lot is full. Sunday service is an all day affair I’m guessing. Usually an hour for Sunday School, followed by 1.5 - 2 hours of Church service(Singing and Preaching). And she darn well better know how to fry Chicken! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wapaloosie73 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 13 minutes ago, Tyrel Cody said: Usually an hour for Sunday School, followed by 1.5 - 2 hours of Church service(Singing and Preaching). And she darn well better know how to fry Chicken! Well I belong to the church of the great outdoors..... I commune with Jesus while riding my horse or mule along the mountain peaks! That’s a two day affair... all weekend. And I’m not a chicken fan. Chewy stringy white meat. Ribeye on the grill now..... that’s the life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warden Callaway Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Is it true that given an option, Baptists must vote for a dry county? Or must they just say that they voted for a dry county? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Speaking of Baptists, where is Birdgun? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 59 minutes ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said: Speaking of Baptists, where is Birdgun? I was wondering the same thing. Hey Burpgun, you about? He's probably over in the corner playing with his "cannon" Imis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duffield, SASS #23454 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Is it true that given an option, Baptists must vote for a dry county? Or must they just say that they voted for a dry county? We must not admit that we voted wet, We must not recognize the Pope as the Lord's representative and We must not recognize each other at Hooter's or the liquor store. Duffield Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 The difference between a Baptist minister and a Catholic, I told a Baptist minister that I discounted churches for my piano tuning services, I said, "I figure at the pearly gates they'll say, "He wasn't that good but he did help out the churches". The Baptist minister actually got a bit angry and said, "That's not the way you get into heaven"...blah blah blah........... I told that same story to a Catholic priest and he said, " If you tune our pianos for free I'll make SURE you get into heaven!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 11, 2019 Author Share Posted July 11, 2019 2 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Is it true that given an option, Baptists must vote for a dry county? Or must they just say that they voted for a dry county? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 Baptists aren't allowed to make love standing up!! It could be mistaken for dancing!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 3 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: For those that might like a copy of the speech: Delivered by the late Noah S. "Soggy" Sweat, Jr., former Mississippi legislator, lawyer and judge, in 1952 when the Mississippi Legislature was considering legalizing liquor. My friends, I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it might be. You have asked me how I feel about whiskey. All right, here is how I feel about whiskey. If when you say whiskey, you mean the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation and despair and shame and helplessness and hopelessness - then certainly I am against it. But if, when you say whiskey, you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman's step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy and his happiness and to forget, if only for a little while, lifes great tragedies and heartaches and sorrows; if you mean the drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our pitiful aged and infirm, to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it. This is my stand, and I will not compromise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 14 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: Also sounds like Mormons: that and lime Jell-o with shredded carrots and / or "funeral potatoes". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 5 minutes ago, Alpo said: For those that might like a copy of the speech: Delivered by the late Noah S. "Soggy" Sweat, Jr., former Mississippi legislator, lawyer and judge, in 1952 when the Mississippi Legislature was considering legalizing liquor. My friends, I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it might be. You have asked me how I feel about whiskey. All right, here is how I feel about whiskey. If when you say whiskey, you mean the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation and despair and shame and helplessness and hopelessness - then certainly I am against it. But if, when you say whiskey, you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman's step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy and his happiness and to forget, if only for a little while, lifes great tragedies and heartaches and sorrows; if you mean the drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our pitiful aged and infirm, to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it. This is my stand, and I will not compromise Yep. a true politician he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 I am minded of the Show and Tell, where a grade schooler said "I am a Catholic and this is a rosary." The next child said "I am Jewish and this is a menorah." The third child said "I am Baptist and this is a casserole." As far as voting dry, the story is told of good Baptists who, upon finding the watermelon was plugged, filled with moon likker and let set for a day before being served, surreptitiously slipped the seeds in their coat pockets ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 8 hours ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said: Speaking of Baptists, where is Birdgun? Oh, I'm still here over in the corner, moping about the fact there still isn't a SASS approved Baptist Category. And, yes, I'm still playing with my cannon, Anus Twohofon. Now when it comes to a good ol' fashioned Baptist potluck dinner with all those wonderful casseroles and, of course, a generous helping of Gospel Bird (Sunday fried chicken), followed by all the delicious desserts....well....if Gluttony is a sin...we Baptist blow the bottom out of Hell. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dannyd Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 The reason they voted dry is because they didn't want the shot houses loosing business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted July 11, 2019 Share Posted July 11, 2019 51 minutes ago, Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 said: Oh, I'm still here over in the corner, moping about the fact there still isn't a SASS approved Baptist Category. And, yes, I'm still playing with my cannon, Anus Twohofon. Now when it comes to a good ol' fashioned Baptist potluck dinner with all those wonderful casseroles and, of course, a generous helping of Gospel Bird (Sunday fried chicken), followed by all the delicious desserts....well....if Gluttony is a sin...we Baptist blow the bottom out of Hell. . Glad you are here Birdgun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizPete Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 On 7/10/2019 at 10:48 PM, Widder, SASS #59054 said: Ya never know when you one is gonna get 'misplaced' during a 'Get Together'. That's why you put your name on a piece of masking tape on the bottom of it. Every Presbyterian knows that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabez Cowboy,SASS # 50129 Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 WHY ??? Become a Baptist ??? When they get to Heaven they are all put in a walled compound, so they won't see all the other Non Baptist's partying and visiting .... And enjoying Beef Steak on the Bar-B-Que and riding Dirt Bikes ,,,,, And Shooting ... Jabez Cowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin Gun For Hire Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 The 9 x 13 dish is the entry level version. The bigger the dish the better Baptist you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 45 minutes ago, Paladin Gun For Hire said: The 9 x 13 dish is the entry level version. The bigger the dish the better Baptist you are. Or bring two... a casserole and a dessert. Peach cobbler! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin Gun For Hire Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 2 hours ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said: Or bring two... a casserole and a dessert. Peach cobbler! Peach Cobbler!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 I suppose I'd make a decent Baptist. I can't dance. I recall being told that you always take two Baptists fishing with you, because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wapaloosie73 Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 10 minutes ago, DocWard said: I suppose I'd make a decent Baptist. I can't dance. I recall being told that you always take two Baptists fishing with you, because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer. I have a Mormon buddy.....that works fer them as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 19 minutes ago, DocWard said: I suppose I'd make a decent Baptist. I can't dance. I recall being told that you always take two Baptists fishing with you, because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer. Doc, take me fishin' with you. I'll drink all your beer and eat all your groceries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 2 minutes ago, Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 said: Doc, take me fishin' with you. I'll drink all your beer and eat all your groceries. Well, since I don't fish because I've never been very good at it, and I drink very little, you might be quite disappointed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 Is a 15”x10” considered immodest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramblin Gambler Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 On 7/12/2019 at 10:33 PM, DocWard said: Well, since I don't fish because I've never been very good at it, and I drink very little, you might be quite disappointed. I aint no good at fishin neither. It don't stop me from going. I remember Burt Reynolds once said he didn't even bait the hook because it caused too much work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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