sassnetguy50 Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 34 minutes ago, DocWard said: "Ain't got the common sense God gave a crowbar." "Dumber than a sack (or poke) full of hammers" Then there's "Tarnation." Now, I've never been sure what, or where, tarnation is. Or maybe it's neither, It could be an action? "What in Tarnation were you thinking?" "How in Tarnation did you do that?" And while I'm thinking of it, why was Jehoshaphat Jumping? We were taught tarnation was to be cursed to hell, like damnation. Jehosephat was supposedly how Jesus is said in another language, I never asked why he was jumping. To door to door salesmen: she needs that like she needs another hole in the head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 "If brains were dynamite, he still couldn't blow his nose!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 4 hours ago, sassnetguy50 said: Jehosephat was supposedly how Jesus is said in another language, I never asked why he was jumping. Probably the same reason he was on a crutch or a bicycle. Christ on a crutch Christ on a bicycle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kloehr Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 8 hours ago, sassnetguy50 said: We were taught tarnation was to be cursed to hell, like damnation. Jehosephat was supposedly how Jesus is said in another language, I never asked why he was jumping. To door to door salesmen: she needs that like she needs another hole in the head. Pretty much this. Origin of tarnation: https://www.etymonline.com/word/tarnation#:~:text=tarnation (n.),God) (see eternal). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 Sharp as the leading edge of a bowling ball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 “Bright as a cave!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 You’d lose your head if it wasn’t screwed on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheatin Charlie Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 A horse that sh*ts fast does not sh*t long! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381 Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 That's better than snuff and not half as dusty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 Don’t like school? That’s fine the world is always going to need ditch diggers and pole dancers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Gun Jimmy Posted May 27, 2023 Author Share Posted May 27, 2023 "Well sh*t fire and save matches" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Joker Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 Like a goose: wakes up in a new world every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassnetguy50 Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 A former boss gave the same response when people called in sick The flu doesn't come in a brown bottle, get your sss to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 "They have a one track mind and it's off track!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Snorter Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Who wants flies? And factually, vinegar is far better for fruit flies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 Are you sick or is it the whiskey flu? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonshine 20515 Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 Plain asa diamond ina goats a$$ Yer gonna hum lika a 10 penny finishin nail hit with a greasy ball pean hammer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pulp, SASS#28319 Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 If intelligence was fatal you’d live a LOONNNNNGGGGG time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 As about as funny as a rubber crutch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cowboy Small Posted May 27, 2023 Share Posted May 27, 2023 I can explain the "faster than $**t through a goose" thing Ducks and geese do not have a sphincter muscle...so as soon as something goes in, something will come out. There ya go....whatever that means. CS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaleWolf Brunelle, #2495L Posted May 28, 2023 Share Posted May 28, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oak Ridge Regulator Posted May 28, 2023 Share Posted May 28, 2023 When referring to splitting wood the old fashion way by hand my grandfather used to say “ you split a tree from the top and a woman from the bottom” of course my grandmother never heard him say that ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted May 28, 2023 Share Posted May 28, 2023 that boy , can break an anvil with a pin feather Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted May 28, 2023 Share Posted May 28, 2023 Makes more racket than two tomcats with their tails tied together and throwed over a clothesline! Meaner ‘n a burlap bag full of rattlesnakes! Madder ‘n a she cat with her tail tied in a knot! Stinks like a pissed off polecat in an outhouse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 28, 2023 Share Posted May 28, 2023 Almost as bright as a 1 watt light bulb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Gun Jimmy Posted May 28, 2023 Author Share Posted May 28, 2023 Always heard "fighting like cats and dogs" My pair have proven that to mean not fighting very much at all haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Snorter Posted May 28, 2023 Share Posted May 28, 2023 1 minute ago, One Gun Jimmy said: Always heard "fighting like cats and dogs" My pair have proven that to mean not fighting very much at all haha Where I grew up, "raining cats & dogs". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tex Wilson Posted May 28, 2023 Share Posted May 28, 2023 He doesn't have sense enough to pour piss out of a boot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted May 28, 2023 Share Posted May 28, 2023 16 minutes ago, Tex Wilson said: He doesn't have sense enough to pour piss out of a boot. …with the instructions on the heel!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted May 29, 2023 Share Posted May 29, 2023 On 5/27/2023 at 10:29 AM, Moonshine 20515 said: Plain asa diamond ina goats a$$ Yer gonna hum lika a 10 penny finishin nail hit with a greasy ball pean hammer. My bunk mate in 'Nam, an Arkansawyer: "Here we are in sunny South Vietnam, paradise of the far east, a vacation paradise, sparkling in the sun and shining like a diamond in a goat's a$$." I never heard it before nor again until now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 "He's missing a couple dots on his dice" "He's traveling with an empty sea bag" "You're nothing but an anchor" " Not the brightest bulb on the tree" or "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer" " Those two, don't hitch horses well together" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kloehr Posted June 5, 2023 Share Posted June 5, 2023 You can always tell a donkey, but you can't tell him much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted June 6, 2023 Share Posted June 6, 2023 If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD Lud Posted June 6, 2023 Share Posted June 6, 2023 Where the hoot owls screw the chickens… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted June 6, 2023 Share Posted June 6, 2023 so far back in the sticks , ya gotta pipe in sunlight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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