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Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381

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About Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381

  • Rank
    SASS Wire Vet
  • Birthday 07/06/1949

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Edgewood, Texas
  • Interests
    Shooting sports, ham radio, scuba diving, foreign travel, gardening, web design

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  1. Got one in the motor home. It's okay, but I wouldn't want it as my main bed. I don't sleep as well on it.
  2. Tied up, 2-2. But OU and Texas lost yesterday in college football. Can't have it all.
  3. Snake comes to mind, and I insult the snake.
  4. Had a female detective live near me once upon a time. I hated her. Her mustache was better than mine.
  5. I no longer follow baseball, so I don't know why they decided to do this??????
  6. Thank God Okie had the aforethought to put some bleach and lye soap in the horse trough. He figured that might cut two weeks of stink off of Calico. Feral cats were trying to bury her any time she stood still long enough. He figured he could get her in the office next week for a good fleaing. Well enough of that. Okie heard that Slim got some new Takillya in, and of course he had to test the firewater to make sure it was safe for the townspeople. He figured this would require an afternoon of sampling. Then he could stagger over to the dance and 'examine' some of the lady folk.
  7. Doc Okie figured Calico would pull his finger for sure, since she fell for it every time for the past 10 years. So much for eating all of those beans and onions. As he walked back into his office, he noticed Calico was two stepping it towards the outhouse. If I told her once, I told her a hundred times to leave dead animals alone. But right in the stew pot they go. Note to self: never go to a church potluck that Calico attends. Back in the office, Sedalia Dave was waiting to get a large boil lanced on his backside. He wouldn't listen to me about spending so much time in the saddle. As I cleaned the skin and lanced the boil, something profane sprang out of his wound. "Mother of God and all that's holy," screamed Okie, "what the hell crawled in you and died!?" About that time, Lorelie Longshot came in the office to see about a large paper cut. She gasped. did a 180, and took off towards the schoolhouse like a mongoose had ran up her right leg. I swear I saw her making dust devils in her haste. Sedalia Dave slapped a seated liberty silver dollar on the table and lit out himself. While waiting for the office to air out, Doc Okie parked his butt in a chair on the boardwalk. He saw Grumpy Old Man flipping scraps to an old cur dog. The cur dog was thankful he didn't have competition from Calico today. Up the street, a song emanated from the saloon that sounded like a screech owl caught in the bar doors. Obviously Michigan Slim was sampling the goods from some whisky drummer. Critter was sitting by the horse trough making mud pies, but I ain't sure that was all mud. Another day in Stone Creek, where culture is found in the bottom of a bottle...
  8. Doc Okie waddled out of his office, wearing a dirty tee shirt and a three-day stubble on his face. The tequila fumes on his breath were enough to send two cur dogs yelping up under the boardwalk. He went to the side of the building and was taking a leak when Calamity walked by. "For the love of God, doctor, where are your manners? Have you no dignity? Lord save us, what is that smell, cried Calamity?" About that time J Mark came down the street sucking on a cigar the size of a hatchet handle. Calamity screamed at him, "Put that blasted thing out, or we're all going up in flames!" J Mark pitched the stogie in a horse trough, and came wandering over to see what all of the commotion was about. Unfortunately for him, he was down wind. Putting his hand to his nose, he sputtered out, "Whoo-wee, Okie, did you ride into town on the back of a skinner's wagon? Have you been drinking turpentine?" Doc Okie belched, causing Calamity and J Mark to jump back. As he scratched his belly, Doc Okie said, "Y'all cut me some slack already. I had to go way back in the sticks to the old Ferguson place, to deliver a baby. I'm telling you, that family has no branches on its family tree, none. As it turns out, it wasn't just a baby. It was triplets, all boys. But that isn't the worst of it. When old man Ferguson came over, holding a brightly burning lantern, I got a good look at those babies. Each and every one of them looked exactly like Rye Miles. Now the human brain can deal with a lot of trauma, but it is not designed to deal with the scope of this event. I staggered out of the house, found a gallon jug of tequila, and I don't remember anything until 10 minutes ago."
  9. Thank you, I try not to be nasty and as for thinking them out, I try to move toward a solution...I can't see why some tale every thing so personal.

  10. Thank you, I try not to be nasty and as for thinking them out, I try to move toward a solution...I can't see why some tale every thing so personal.

  11. I'd be proud to ride the river with Daniel Nighteyes. He's one of the most level-headed pards on the Wire.

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