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Things that make no sense but you understand them.

One Gun Jimmy

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I love and get a kick out of country sayings ....and somehow I believe this group can put quite a list together...


"That boys usless as teats on a doorknob"


"Makes bout as much sense as a screen door on a submarine"


"Yea, well, if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass on the ground"

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That one’s dumber than a grubbin’ hoe!


You ain’t the sharpest tool in the drawer!


That youngn’s bread ain’t done!


That kid’s uglier than a mud fence daubed with tadpoles!


Older than dirt!


Slicker’n owl $#!+

Rattlin’ like a BB in a boxcar!


Knockin’ like a thrashin’ machine!!


Working like a rented mule!


Grinning like a jackass eating saw briars!


This was my dad’s favorite! “You’re just like a damned billygoat! Ya’ got a hard head and a stinkin’ ass!”



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Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of Rockin’ chairs!


If you put his brains in a billygoat’s head, he’d butt with his ass!!

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Shakin’ like a dog s#itin’ peach seeds!!


Busier than a one legged man in an ass kickin’ contest!

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“If yore brains was gasoline, it wouldn’t run a pissant’s motorcycle around a bread crumb!”

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“Boy, I’ll bet the brain in your head looks like a BB in a boxcar” My Dad’s favorite insult on me. 
I won’t print my response…mumbled under my breath…when I was sure he couldn’t hear. :lol:

Something my mom used to say:

“You ain’t got a lick of sense”


My 7th grade PE teacher loved saying this:

”I will slap you to sleep”


Just in general:

”That boy is so ugly he’s gotta sneak up on a glass of water.”

“Your mother wears combat boots!”


”Your mama’s so fat she caused an eclipse”





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Guest BigBelle
3 minutes ago, One Gun Jimmy said:

I heard my grandad say when he was on the downside...


Ow hell, no big deal, I been dieing my whole life

We start dying as soon as we are born. some just quicker than the others.

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“If you roll your brain down a razor blade, it’d look like a BB rolling down an eight lane highway!!”


”The porch light’s on, but ain’t nobody home!”


”That one ain’t got walkin’ around sense!”

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Dumber'n a fence post

That boy's lost his hushpuppies


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His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top!

He’s one fry short of a Happy Meal 

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As practical and a barbed wire jock strap.


I need that like I need the mumps.


So dumb he couldn't pee a hole in a snow bank.


Educated well beyond his intelligence.


If she keeps shaking that she'll throw her back out.


He makes me believe in reincarnation.  In some former life he was part of a horse.


She's so busy being a good (enter your favorite religion here) that she doesn't have time to be  a good person.


About as sharp as  a snow cone.

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"Ain't got the common sense God gave a crowbar."


"Dumber than a sack (or poke) full of hammers"


Then there's "Tarnation." Now, I've never been sure what, or where, tarnation is. Or maybe it's neither, It could be an action?


"What in Tarnation were you thinking?"


"How in Tarnation did you do that?"


And while I'm thinking of it, why was Jehoshaphat Jumping?

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