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Did you know you can't pet alligators


Trigger Mike

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Posted

We are near South Carolina so we get news from there.  A woman had been at someone's house and some water was nearby.   She was told the gator there ate a  deer recently.   She had been drinking wine. 

 

She decided to wade waist deep and pet the alligator.   He attacked her but she got away.   Her next words as she stood in waist deep water was "I'll never do that again " and then it killed her so the game warden killed it.  

Posted

All the News reported was a gator attacked and killed a woman in S.C.

 

We didn't hear about her stupid initiation.   Those are the kind of people who would kiss a cobra or try to put lipstick on Godzilla.

 

..........Widder

 

Posted

"can't bet alligators ?"   why not ? . . . don't they like it ?  :o

 

great way to eliminate someone from the gene pool . . . . . . "Hey, . go pet my pet alligator in the back pond."

Posted
21 minutes ago, Wolfgang, SASS #53480 said:

"can't bet alligators ?"   why not ? . . . don't they like it ?  :o

 

great way to eliminate someone from the gene pool . . . . . . "Hey, . go pet my pet alligator in the back pond."

I seem to be losing all my friends, I can’t understand why.

Posted

God can bless your Faith and forgive your stupidity.

 

The alligator lacks the ability to do neither.

 

..........Widder

 

Posted

A blonde walks into a gun store and asks to buy a 12 gauge shotgun and 00 buck shells. 

 

It's late in the day and she gets a good deal.

 

The owner sells her the shotgun and asks what she plans to do with it.

 

She replies that she has always wanted a pair of alligator shoes and was going to the swamp to "get her a gator".

 

She leaves with the shotgun/ammo. The owner decides to close up an hour later and go home.

 

The store owner is on his way home on a road that runs next to the swamp and sees the blonde waist deep in the water with the shotgun.

 

He stops the car and gets out to see how she's doing, watching from the road.

 

As he watching, he sees a 12' gator sneaking up behind her and starts to yell a warming but she wheels around and delivers a fatal blast to the head.

 

He walks down to the swamps edge and sees that there is 8 large gators that she has already shot laying on shore.

 

She pulls the gator up to shore and tells the store owner......

 

"This is the 9th gator that I've killed and none of them were wearing shoes"

 

 

 

 

Posted

Mom and Dad went to Florida after they retired.  The only thing Mom could talk about was petting a baby gator.  Guy at the park turned it on its back and handed it to her.  She said she rubbed its belly and it "purred" at her.  Dad took a picture of her and her new friend.  Little critter maybe a foot long, but  a real gator.

Posted

"She had been drinking wine."

 

Hold my beer  wine and watch this!

Posted
12 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

All the News reported was a gator attacked and killed a woman in S.C.

 

We didn't hear about her stupid initiation.   Those are the kind of people who would kiss a cobra or try to put lipstick on Godzilla.

 

..........Widder

 

Guy in FL got bit by a water moccasin by trying to kiss it.

 

There's been several bit by 'pet' rattlesnakes the same way.

 

Be Warned!

 

The Stupid is Powerful in some that walk amongst us unsupervised.

Posted
2 hours ago, Ozark Huckleberry said:

I have learned that gators are not receptive to new experiences.  

 

This is true.   My guess is that this particular gator wasn't use to being petted or was having a bad hair day.

 

..........Widder

 

Posted
1 hour ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

This is true.   My guess is that this particular gator wasn't use to being petted or was having a bad hair day.

 

..........Widder

 

The gator was playing the game....He was thinking good meal to be had...No fur, no scales, just pink meat...Might have worked accept for the game warden in the area...

 

Texas Lizard

Posted

And we marvel at the long list of Darwin Award nominees!!!

Posted

Some folks are surprised to learn that there are actually 'gators in Texas.

 

LOTS of 'em!  :huh:

Posted
27 minutes ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

Some folks are surprised to learn that there are actually 'gators in Texas.

 

LOTS of 'em!  :huh:

 

They are even more surprised to learn that Arkansas has a healty gator population.

 

AND


They are down right shocked to learn that gators can be found in southern Oklahoma. :o

Posted

Howdy,

I bet that gator figured she was after her  shoes....

Best

CR

 

Posted
On 5/10/2020 at 8:35 AM, Turkey Flats Jack said:

SMH shame they killed the gator because of a persons stupid decision to enter its environment. 

 

I agree. The poor thing's only crime was being an alligator.

Posted

anyone wanting to get into . . "petting alligators" . . . . should train for a while . . . . 

 

 

. . . but taking up "petting" . . . water moccasins . . . . . that would be a nice warm up . . . and easier on the alligator population too.   :huh: :huh:  :D

Posted
On ‎5‎/‎10‎/‎2020 at 11:35 AM, Turkey Flats Jack said:

SMH shame they killed the gator because of a persons stupid decision to enter its environment. 

My wife and I went on a trip on the "Rocky Mountaineer RR" in Canada a few years ago. We took a side trip to "See the wild life".

The tour guide located a harem of Elk Cows being guarded by a Bull along a public road. As we sat in the tour bus watching,someone in another car got out to take pictures of the Bull. The Bull naturally was not happy and started over to shag the tourist away from his harem. Our guide yelled at the man that he was in danger and to leave the Bull alone. Then he turned to us and said "You are all witnesses, that man has been warned to leave the Bull alone."

The guide then explained that he had warned the man, not to protect the man, but to protect the Bull. If the Bull injured or killed the man and the man had not been warned the Bull would be destroyed. However, since he had warned the tourist that he was in danger and to leave the Bull alone, the fault would be placed on the man and not on the Elk Bull. As they drove away that Bull took a good swipe and the car and I think they would need to repaint the rear fender.

After the car drove away you should have seen what the Bull did to an innocent evergreen tree to relieve his frustration. :lol:

 

CJ

 

Posted
1 hour ago, Wolfgang, SASS #53480 said:

anyone wanting to get into . . "petting alligators" . . . . should train for a while . . . . 

 

 

. . . but taking up "petting" . . . water moccasins . . . . . that would be a nice warm up . . . and easier on the alligator population too.   :huh: :huh:  :D

i've petted both and worse. Wish I had the pictures of me working with a king cobra still. I've worked with many different species of exotic animals and 99% of the time it's the injured party that was in the wrong. 

Posted
1 hour ago, Assassin said:

Her death was recorded "due to Covid19".

  

 

...... so, .... "Covid19" is another way of spelling "terminal stupidity" ..... ?

 

 

 

I hate political correctness even more now ........

 

:ph34r:

Posted
On 5/10/2020 at 4:29 PM, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said:

Wino apparently

Flora-duh is a very special place.

 

Not only do they have to deal with their own,  native idjits but they import idjits from all over the world, too!

 

Hence,  my question if she was a snow bird (imported from some place where it snows) or not.

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