Did you know you can't pet alligators

[Trigger Mike 717]

We are near South Carolina so we get news from there.  A woman had been at someone's house and some water was nearby.   She was told the gator there ate a  deer recently.   She had been drinking wine. 

 

She decided to wade waist deep and pet the alligator.   He attacked her but she got away.   Her next words as she stood in waist deep water was "I'll never do that again " and then it killed her so the game warden killed it.  

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 5,653]

Oh really?     

[Capt. James H. Callahan 965]

Heard about that on the radio.

JHC

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 1,044]

  "you only get to pet the alligator ONCE!  ........."

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 3,709]

Reckon she never heard of this dude...  

 

 

 

              

[Smuteye John SASS#24774 1,825]

Snow bird?

[Widder, SASS #59054 6,184]

All the News reported was a gator attacked and killed a woman in S.C.

 

We didn't hear about her stupid initiation.   Those are the kind of people who would kiss a cobra or try to put lipstick on Godzilla.

 

..........Widder

 

[Wolfgang, SASS #53480 278]

"can't bet alligators ?"   why not ? . . . don't they like it ?  

 

great way to eliminate someone from the gene pool . . . . . . "Hey, . go pet my pet alligator in the back pond."

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 5,653]

21 minutes ago, Wolfgang, SASS #53480 said:

"can't bet alligators ?"   why not ? . . . don't they like it ?  

 

great way to eliminate someone from the gene pool . . . . . . "Hey, . go pet my pet alligator in the back pond."

I seem to be losing all my friends, I can’t understand why.

[Badlands Bob #61228 1,168]

8 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Snow bird?

No, drunk manicurist.

[Widder, SASS #59054 6,184]

God can bless your Faith and forgive your stupidity.

 

The alligator lacks the ability to do neither.

 

..........Widder

 

[Cypress Sun 2,069]

A blonde walks into a gun store and asks to buy a 12 gauge shotgun and 00 buck shells. 

 

It's late in the day and she gets a good deal.

 

The owner sells her the shotgun and asks what she plans to do with it.

 

She replies that she has always wanted a pair of alligator shoes and was going to the swamp to "get her a gator".

 

She leaves with the shotgun/ammo. The owner decides to close up an hour later and go home.

 

The store owner is on his way home on a road that runs next to the swamp and sees the blonde waist deep in the water with the shotgun.

 

He stops the car and gets out to see how she's doing, watching from the road.

 

As he watching, he sees a 12' gator sneaking up behind her and starts to yell a warming but she wheels around and delivers a fatal blast to the head.

 

He walks down to the swamps edge and sees that there is 8 large gators that she has already shot laying on shore.

 

She pulls the gator up to shore and tells the store owner......

 

"This is the 9th gator that I've killed and none of them were wearing shoes"

 

 

 

 

[Forty Rod SASS 3935 5,117]

Mom and Dad went to Florida after they retired.  The only thing Mom could talk about was petting a baby gator.  Guy at the park turned it on its back and handed it to her.  She said she rubbed its belly and it "purred" at her.  Dad took a picture of her and her new friend.  Little critter maybe a foot long, but  a real gator.

[Marshal Chance Morgun 866]

CHOOT  'EM

[Marshal Chance Morgun 866]

"She had been drinking wine."

 

Hold my beer  wine and watch this!

[Turkey Flats Jack 427]

SMH shame they killed the gator because of a persons stupid decision to enter its environment. 

[Smuteye John SASS#24774 1,825]

3 hours ago, Badlands Bob #61228 said:

No, drunk manicurist.

Local or another temporary transplant Hoboken?

[Smuteye John SASS#24774 1,825]

12 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

All the News reported was a gator attacked and killed a woman in S.C.

 

We didn't hear about her stupid initiation.   Those are the kind of people who would kiss a cobra or try to put lipstick on Godzilla.

 

..........Widder

 

Guy in FL got bit by a water moccasin by trying to kiss it.

 

There's been several bit by 'pet' rattlesnakes the same way.

 

Be Warned!

 

The Stupid is Powerful in some that walk amongst us unsupervised.

[Ozark Huckleberry 588]

I have learned that gators are not receptive to new experiences.  

[Widder, SASS #59054 6,184]

2 hours ago, Ozark Huckleberry said:

I have learned that gators are not receptive to new experiences.  

 

This is true.   My guess is that this particular gator wasn't use to being petted or was having a bad hair day.

 

..........Widder

 

[Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 1,675]

16 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Snow bird?

Wino apparently

[Texas Lizard 878]

1 hour ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

This is true.   My guess is that this particular gator wasn't use to being petted or was having a bad hair day.

 

..........Widder

 

The gator was playing the game....He was thinking good meal to be had...No fur, no scales, just pink meat...Might have worked accept for the game warden in the area...

 

Texas Lizard

[Blackwater 53393 3,808]

And we marvel at the long list of Darwin Award nominees!!!

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 3,709]

Some folks are surprised to learn that there are actually 'gators in Texas.

 

LOTS of 'em!  

[Sedalia Dave 8,418]

27 minutes ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

Some folks are surprised to learn that there are actually 'gators in Texas.

 

LOTS of 'em!  

 

They are even more surprised to learn that Arkansas has a healty gator population.

 

AND

They are down right shocked to learn that gators can be found in southern Oklahoma. 

[Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 1,675]

Rumor has it that gaitors made it as far north as Southern Illinois in the Mississippi.

[Chili Ron 728]

Howdy,

I bet that gator figured she was after her  shoes....

Best

CR

 

[Sixgun Sheridan 3,262]

On 5/10/2020 at 8:35 AM, Turkey Flats Jack said:

SMH shame they killed the gator because of a persons stupid decision to enter its environment. 

 

I agree. The poor thing's only crime was being an alligator.

[Wolfgang, SASS #53480 278]

anyone wanting to get into . . "petting alligators" . . . . should train for a while . . . . 

 

 

. . . but taking up "petting" . . . water moccasins . . . . . that would be a nice warm up . . . and easier on the alligator population too.      

[Cactus Jack Calder 282]

On ‎5‎/‎10‎/‎2020 at 11:35 AM, Turkey Flats Jack said:

SMH shame they killed the gator because of a persons stupid decision to enter its environment. 

My wife and I went on a trip on the "Rocky Mountaineer RR" in Canada a few years ago. We took a side trip to "See the wild life".

The tour guide located a harem of Elk Cows being guarded by a Bull along a public road. As we sat in the tour bus watching,someone in another car got out to take pictures of the Bull. The Bull naturally was not happy and started over to shag the tourist away from his harem. Our guide yelled at the man that he was in danger and to leave the Bull alone. Then he turned to us and said "You are all witnesses, that man has been warned to leave the Bull alone."

The guide then explained that he had warned the man, not to protect the man, but to protect the Bull. If the Bull injured or killed the man and the man had not been warned the Bull would be destroyed. However, since he had warned the tourist that he was in danger and to leave the Bull alone, the fault would be placed on the man and not on the Elk Bull. As they drove away that Bull took a good swipe and the car and I think they would need to repaint the rear fender.

After the car drove away you should have seen what the Bull did to an innocent evergreen tree to relieve his frustration.

 

CJ

 

[Turkey Flats Jack 427]

1 hour ago, Wolfgang, SASS #53480 said:

anyone wanting to get into . . "petting alligators" . . . . should train for a while . . . . 

 

 

. . . but taking up "petting" . . . water moccasins . . . . . that would be a nice warm up . . . and easier on the alligator population too.      

i've petted both and worse. Wish I had the pictures of me working with a king cobra still. I've worked with many different species of exotic animals and 99% of the time it's the injured party that was in the wrong. 

[Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 2,664]

"See you later, Alligator."

 

"After while, Crocodile."

[Assassin 1,214]

Her death was recorded "due to Covid19".

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 1,044]

1 hour ago, Assassin said:

Her death was recorded "due to Covid19".

  

 

...... so, .... "Covid19" is another way of spelling "terminal stupidity" ..... ?

 

 

 

I hate political correctness even more now ........

 

[Smuteye John SASS#24774 1,825]

On 5/10/2020 at 4:29 PM, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said:

Wino apparently

Flora-duh is a very special place.

 

Not only do they have to deal with their own,  native idjits but they import idjits from all over the world, too!

 

Hence,  my question if she was a snow bird (imported from some place where it snows) or not.