Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 1 10 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 1 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and the Chief Priest said, "Brother, this is a silent monastery, you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so." Brother John lived in the monastery for a full year before the Chief Priest said to him: "Brother John, you have been here a year now, you may speak two words." Brother John said, "Hard Bed." "I'm sorry to hear that" the Chief Priest said. "We will get you a better bed." The next year, Brother John was called by the Chief Priest. "You may say another two words Brother John." "Cold Food." said Brother John, and the Chief Priest assured him that the food would be better in the future. On his third anniversary at the monastery, the Chief Priest again called Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today." "I Quit." said Brother John. "It is probably best." said the Chief Priest. "All you have done since you got here is complain 1 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 3 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted October 21, 2022 Share Posted October 21, 2022 2 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 13 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Unless you happen to be in the area the bag lands, once the helium degrades.................... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Snorter Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 13 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: And with the Helium shortage... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 On 10/20/2022 at 8:43 PM, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said: AMEN! 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 Boudreaux was called into his bank to discuss his accounts. "Your finances are in terrible shape," the banker stated. "Your checking account is way overdrawn, and your loan's are overdue." "Yeh, I know." said Boudreaux. "It's my wife, Marie. She's out of control." The banker asked Boudreaux, "Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you have?" "Mais, to tell de truth, Mr. Banker," replied Boudreaux with a deep sigh, "because I'd rather argue wid you than wid her !" 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusty Boots Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 On 9/28/2022 at 7:06 PM, Sedalia Dave said: But then again…you can’t blame them for bragging. 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 Boudreaux had received a summons to appear for jury duty. The judge was doing his preliminary interview of the prospective jurors, and asked them, "Is there any reason any of you could not serve as a juror in this case?" Boudreaux raised his hand and when the judge acknowledged him said, " Mais, I can't serve, Judge. I don't wants to be away from my job dat long." The judge asked him, "Can't they do without you at work?" Boudreaux answered, "Yeh, Judge, dey can do widdout me, but I jus' don't wants dem to know it." 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 On 10/20/2022 at 8:43 PM, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said: Like the old man said... if I need advice from someone who chases balls around I'll ask my dog. 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 13 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Looks like she forgot the head piece to her Halloween costume. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 37 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Just let the dog drag her around the house 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brazos John Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 1 hour ago, Sedalia Dave said: Looks like she forgot the head piece to her Halloween costume. No mask could be scarier than her actual face. 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 24, 2022 Author Share Posted October 24, 2022 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 25, 2022 Author Share Posted October 25, 2022 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted October 25, 2022 Share Posted October 25, 2022 10 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: I'm guessing that the scowl on her face is because she can't fit through this door ..... 17 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 25, 2022 Share Posted October 25, 2022 4 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted October 26, 2022 Share Posted October 26, 2022 After a day fishing at a lake near his house, Boudreaux is walking home carrying two big ol' fish in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. Naturally Boudreaux doesn't have one. He says to the warden, "I didn't catch dese fishes, dey are my pets. Every day I come down to de lake and dey jump out de bucket and I let dem swim for awhile, an' when I whistles, dey jumps back in de bucket so we can go home." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. Boudreaux turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me den watch," as he throws the fish back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will come out of the water." Boudreax turns to the warden and says with a smile, "What fish?" 2 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted October 26, 2022 Share Posted October 26, 2022 joke from WWII: If you have unknown troops in front of you and you want to find out who they are, fire a few rounds in their direction. If you are met with precision machine gun fire, they’re German. If you are met by a volley of precision rifle fire, they are British. If they surrender, they’re Italian. If there is a mass wave of infantry and tanks, they’re Russian. If there is a bayonet and sword charge, they’re Japanese. If everything is quiet for a minute or two, and suddenly you are in the middle of a massive artillery barrage and air strikes, they are American. 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 A 5-year-old boy visited his grandmother one clay. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?" Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma later turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son, is your grandma home?" The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom banging her boyfriend." The minister fainted. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 On 10/24/2022 at 1:33 PM, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: If she is really, really small I could use her to crawl down my shotgun barrels. I's spry her with #9 and have sparkling clean bores in a jiffy. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 (edited) I guess they had to rewrite that joke when they started putting ketchup in plastic squeeze bottles. Mama is in the kitchen trying to get some ketchup on the meatloaf. So she's banging on the bottom of the bottle. All y'all old folks - y'all remember doing that, right? Doorbell rings and Little Tommy goes to the door, and it's the preacher. He asked if Tommy's Mama is home. "She's out in the kitchen belting the bottle." Edited October 28, 2022 by Alpo 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 (edited) I'm wondering if we can get a similar law passed here in Canada? Edited October 28, 2022 by Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 When a Dark Lord of Soot plays in the band... 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 1 hour ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: I'm wondering if we can get a similar law passed here in Canada? Unfair to zombies and androids. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 4 hours ago, LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L said: When a Dark Lord of Soot plays in the band... 1812 Overture ? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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