Subdeacon Joe Posted November 11, 2022 Author Share Posted November 11, 2022 5 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Both are fun to watch and both are mean, aggressive, territorial SOBs. 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckshot Bob Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 Did I mention I was a bit of a mechanic and I do all my own work on our cars? 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 3 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 As the Russian army retreated from Ukraine, they captured a Ukrainian soldier and brought him to Moscow as a prisoner of war. The Ukrainian soldier made a daring escape, stealing a Proryv-3 tank, but was mortally wounded in the process. Desperate, he went to a local funeral home and said, “I'll give you a Proryv-3 if you'll give me a proper funeral.” The director instinctively asked, "What's a Proryv-3?" The soldier said, “never mind," and moved along, realizing that the tank was of no value to the director. Going to several other places, the soldier also got the same response: “What's a Proryv-3?” Finally, he came to a huge complex with lots of tanks outside. He knocked on the door, and Vladimir Putin answered it. “Sir, I'll give you a Proryv-3 if you'll give me a proper funeral,” he said. Vladimir Putin replied, “What's a funeral? 1 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 13 hours ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said: That goes into my quiver of sayings. I'm sure it will be put to good use. Thanks. 2 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 A man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.” 3 2 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 49 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: A man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.” It's uncanny how they can do that! Usually within a couple minutes or less. 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 5 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Well at least no one can see how brown the seat of his shorts are. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 Perhaps not very funny, but.................................. 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted November 13, 2022 Author Share Posted November 13, 2022 This one never gets old: A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner. Subject: Request for Naval Officer Escorts "Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutant Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. "They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies. One last point: "No Jews please.” Sending a written message by his own yeoman, the Captain replied: "Madam, thank you for your invitation. In order to present the widest possible knowledge base for polite conversation, I am sending four of my best and most prized officers. "One is a lieutenant commander and a graduate of Annapolis with an additional Masters degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship design. "The second is a Lieutenant, one of our helicopter pilots and a graduate of Northwestern university in Chicago , with a BS in Aeronautical Engineering. His Masters Degree and PhD. In Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering are from Texas Tech University and he is also an astronaut candidate. "The third officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting notification on his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech. "Finally, the fourth officer, also a lieutenant commander, is our ship's doctor, with an undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and his medical degree is from the University of North Carolina . We are very proud of him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at Bethesda.” Upon receiving this letter, Melinda's mother was quite excited and looked forward to Thursday with pleasure. Her daughter would be escorted by four handsome naval officers without peer (and the other women in her social circle would be insanely jealous). At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four very handsome, smiling black officers. Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered, "There must be some mistake.” "No, Madam," said the first officer. "Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes." 2 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted November 13, 2022 Author Share Posted November 13, 2022 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted November 13, 2022 Author Share Posted November 13, 2022 1 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 (edited) On 11/13/2022 at 12:41 AM, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Perhaps not very funny, but.................................. That’s China and dog appears on a menu as “ fragrant meat”. It has little to do with communism because it’s the same in Taiwan. A little different in Korea. In Viet Nam, well, ….. Edited November 14, 2022 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted November 14, 2022 Author Share Posted November 14, 2022 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 On 11/12/2022 at 11:41 PM, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Perhaps not very funny, but.................................. In Junior high School in the library there was a whole section of animal stories - Lassie, Big Red, like that. One book was about a Doberman Pinscher. At one stage of his life he was a messenger dog for the Army during World War II. And he gets wounded in France. This little French kid finds him and takes him home to nurse him back to health. The next day Grandma finds the dog out in the barn and is licking her lips and pinching the dog's muscles. That night the kid takes the dog on down the road aways and tells him he needs to go off on his own. Because if he stayed at the farm grandma was going to eat him. That was quite a shocking idea to an eighth grader. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 Sit back and laugh 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 My cousin arrived at Heathrow (UK) and rented a car. The rental agent thought it wise to give a little advice to a Yank. ”If you’re driving on the M1 [a high speed motorway] and you are in the right lane [the fast lane] and you see a red dot in your mirror, pull over to your left” ”What is it? Police? Fire? Ambulance?” ”Ferrari” 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 2 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brazos John Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: My cousin arrived at Heathrow (UK) and rented a car. The rental agent thought it wise to give a little advice to a Yank. ”If you’re driving on the M1 [a high speed motorway] and you are in the right lane [the fast lane] and you see a red dot in your mirror, pull over to your left” ”What is it? Police? Fire? Ambulance?” ”Ferrari” In Germany, on the autobahn, people drive on the right side (same as America), and stay out of the left lane, except to pass or haul ass. If you're in the left lane and a BMW comes up behind you, he'll flash his headlights, signaling you to get the hell out of the way. Do so, and let him haul ass. For fun, try to catch him! You'll never forget it! And, if you're boogying in the fast lane, folks will let YOU pass. German drivers are SO much more polite than us American drivers. Present company excepted, of course. And to exit the autobahn, slow down and look for the AUSFAHRT sign. I kid you not. Happy Motoring! Edited November 16, 2022 by Brazos John 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives this time of year, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished. I finished a bottle of Crown Royal, a bottle of Bim Beam, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a boxa choclutz. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all ur frenz who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. 2 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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