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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe
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8 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

I was thinking this morning. It’s amazing how many times the wheel has been reinvented, you’ld think we’d have it perfected by now.

 

  ...... sounds like a circular argument ....  :mellow:

 

                 ..... it just goes 'round and 'round ........  :rolleyes:

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35 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

  ...... sounds like a circular argument ....  :mellow:

 

                 ..... it just goes 'round and 'round ........  :rolleyes:

 

Eh, what goes around comes around 

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9 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

I was thinking this morning.

 

 

I try not to think, or at least not let people know I'm thinking.  Once word gets out they want you to keep thinking.  Not only that, they expect you to think clearly and logically. 
Horrors, horrors.

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Might be.

 

Loretta had a song - WE'RE NOT THE JET SET. In the lyric it mentions "Rome Georgia, Athens Texas, and Paris Tennessee".

 

Maybe there's a town in Argentina named Hong Kong.

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There's an Air Force pilot driving from McChord to NAS Whidbey, and a Navy pilot driving from NAS Whidbey to McChord. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Air Force pilot manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the Navy pilot scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" 

The Navy pilot walks over to the Air Force pilot and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals" The Air Force pilot thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck" So the Air Force pilot pops open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Navy pilot, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship" The Navy pilot replies, "You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels.

After putting away nearly half the bottle the Navy pilot hands it back to the Air Force pilot and says, "Your turn!" 

The Air Force pilot twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to come."

www.Sierrahotel.net

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On 9/30/2022 at 5:49 AM, Alpo said:

Was it painful?

I stopped thinking because it makes my head hurt..... and because too often I end up learning something no matter how hard I try  not to.

 

(I don't want to learn any more.  My head's full to overflowing now and learning might lead to having to do something about what you''ve learned, and then look where you are.  :o)

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Alfred Hitchcock was well known for having a dry wit.

 

Actress—-—Tallulah Bankhead—-—was infamous for not wearing underwear.

During the filming of——“Lifeboat”/1944—-—the crew complained about her flashing them when she climbed a ladder.

Director Alfred Hitchcock quipped,

—-“I don’t know if this is a matter for the costume department, make-up or hairdressing.”—-

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3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Alfred Hitchcock was well known for having a dry wit.

 

Actress—-—Tallulah Bankhead—-—was infamous for not wearing underwear.

During the filming of——“Lifeboat”/1944—-—the crew complained about her flashing them when she climbed a ladder.

Director Alfred Hitchcock quipped,

—-“I don’t know if this is a matter for the costume department, make-up or hairdressing.”—-

 

 

 

 

  ......... the crew complained ..... ???  :huh:

 

:blush:

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5 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Alfred Hitchcock was well known for having a dry wit.

 

Actress—-—Tallulah Bankhead—-—was infamous for not wearing underwear.

During the filming of——“Lifeboat”/1944—-—the crew complained about her flashing them when she climbed a ladder.

Director Alfred Hitchcock quipped,

—-“I don’t know if this is a matter for the costume department, make-up or hairdressing.”—-

Heard Groucho Marx telling a story one time. About his brother Chico.

 

Everyone seems to assume that his name was Chico, like the Spanish word for boy, like Chico and the Man. But that's not how it was pronounced. It was Chick-o. Because he was always chasing the chicks. He wanted to bounce bellies with just about every woman he met, and was very upfront about it.

 

So the three brothers have been invited to a party and Tallulah Bankhead is going to be there. And Groucho and Harpo both gave him grief. "Don't be your normal vulgar person. This is a nice lady."

 

And he tells them not to worry, be on his best behavior.

 

So when he is introduced to her he immediately tells her (much more vulgarly than this), "I want to have sex with you Miss Bankhead!"

 

And she responded, "And so you shall dear boy, so you shall."

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“Comrade Sergie. What is news from the front line, big numbers, I hope?”

“Yes, comrade Putin. 27 thousand killed today. 300 tanks knocked out, 20 thousand square miles, and a duck called Colin, trodden to death.”

“That’s manificent, Comrade Sergie. This calls for a big shot of vodka. Now, what about our losses?”

“Those are our losses, Comrade Putin. The Ukrainians lost the duck.”

“Guards!”

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