It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

A Scotsman stranded on a desert island comes across a woman who has washed up onto shore. The Scotsman helps the woman and welcomes her to the island.

Later on that day, the woman says, "I don't suppose you smoked before you were stranded on this island, did you?"

The Scotsman explains that he most certainly did smoke before becoming stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a cigarette from her bag, and they enjoy a smoke together.

A little later, the woman says, "I don't suppose you drank before you were stranded on this island, did you?"

The Scotsman explains that he most certainly did drink before becoming stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a flask from her bag, and they enjoy a drink together.

Some time later, the woman says, "So, you've been on this island for ten years without a woman, huh?"

"That's right," says the Scotsman.

The woman continue, "I don't suppose you'd like to play around?"

 

"Good God lady," exclaimed the Scotsman, "you have a set of golf clubs in that bag too?!?!'

[Rip Snorter]

7 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Never hit an animal of any kind over a decade and a half.  BTW, The Brush Hog shown isn't properly connected to the tractor.

[Brazos John]

17 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

I saw a skunk get hit by 2 cars, about 3 seconds apart at 45 mph, where the skunk balled up as the first car went over him without squishing him, he bounced and straightened out, and another car came along, he balled up again, the car went over him, and he straightened out and ran off the road into the woods.

I wonder how he did...

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/417730620428865?s=yWDuG2&fs=e

[Rip Snorter]

11 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

In an old, full size 3/4 Ton Chevy Pickup, a big bull looks at you eye to eye, you in the driver's seat, him just standing there on the ground.  Big Boys. 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Texas Joker]

That is a pull behind brush hog. It us not 3pt hitched it goes on the draw bar under the bell

 

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967]

 

 

 

 

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

 

 

 ........ making a belt out of watches is a waist of time ......   

[Subdeacon Joe]

Wha'cho lookin'at?

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Sedalia Dave]

1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 Taco Tuesday isn’t till tomorrow. 

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

2 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 Taco Tuesday isn’t till tomorrow. 

 

 ....... but it's already tomorrow here ..........   

[Sedalia Dave]

7 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

 

 ....... but it's already tomorrow here ..........   

 
True, but that doesn’t look like an Aussie squirrel. 

Edited September 26, 2022 by Sedalia Dave

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

1 minute ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 
True, but that doesn’t look like an Aussie squirrel. 

 

     ....... nothing looks like an Aussie squirrel, ...... absolutely nothing at all ........  

[Eyesa Horg]

If it was an Aussie squirrel, it would be on your face trying to kill you! 

[Rip Snorter]

Does that make him Tio Taco?  Actually squirrels in the U.S. attack occasionally.  Had a cousin get badly bitten and you hear about an attack now and then.

[Eyesa Horg]

1 hour ago, Rip Snorter said:

Does that make him Tio Taco?  Actually squirrels in the U.S. attack occasionally.  Had a cousin get badly bitten and you hear about an attack now and then.

Oz immigrant squirrels. 

[DeaconKC]

Anyone up for Ray Steven's the Mississippi Squirrel Revival?

[Subdeacon Joe]

42 minutes ago, DeaconKC said:

Anyone up for Ray Steven's the Mississippi Squirrel Revival?

 

 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

Did you know that a big toe looks like a peanut to a squirrel?

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967]

I got a squirrel education once ~ I think I was thirteen... had a "pet" squirrel in the back yard.  He'd eat outta my hand.  But I learned REAL quick that he most assuredly did NOT care to be picked up.  

 

Dawg, but he was quick!  And those looong teeth did a number on a few fingers before I managed to hurl the li'l booger.  Worst was the chomps right into the joints.  Even with the launch, he fared better than me; continued begging, but I made sure to toss him his "treats" after that.  

[Sixgun Sheridan]

People tend to forget that they're called wild animals for a reason...

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[DocWard]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

At my age:

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Baltimore Ravens have a rookie tight end Isaiah Likely.

 

I imagine a future game status.

 

Likely is probable for Sunday.

[Sedalia Dave]

 

[Texas Joker]

17 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

It's that new band 

Heavy D and the boxmen