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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe
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3 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

Why do you assume that the entire band is in the photo?

I don't, but at that part of the 1812, where they have that amazing percussion session, the French horns should be playing.

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10 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

I'm wondering if we can get a similar law passed here in Canada?Georgia Law Check for Voters Pulse.jpg

 

I do believe that law would be put to better use if it were enacted in Chicago. ;) 

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Stolen from the internet…

 

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,

"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her

blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her

Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."

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Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. Clifford would shout, "When I die, I'll dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life ol' woman!!"

Neighbours feared him. Old Clifford liked the fact that he was feared.

He died at the ripe old age of 98.

After the burial, Daisy May's neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"

She replied, "LET HIM DIG. I HAD HIM BURIED UPSIDE DOWN... AND I KNOW HE WON'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS."

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A Mexican, an Italian, and a Blond man are working on high-rise construction together.

On their lunch break the Mexican opens his lunch box and exclaims “ Damnit, she packed tacos again!” Then he stands up and jumps.

The Italian opens his lunch box and exclaims “Damnit, she gave me lasagna again!” Then he stands up and jumps.

The Blond opens his lunch box and exclaims “Damnit, hamburgers again.” Then he stands up and jumps.

Several days later, the wife of the Blond guy hosts a celebration of life for the workers and invites all the employees & their families. The attendees march by, and the Boss stops at the Mexican's wife. “ I'm so sorry for your loss.,” To which the wife replied "Thank you. If only I'd known he was tired of tacos, I would have packed something else.” Then she broke down in tears.

Next, the Boss stops at the Italian’s wife. “ I'm so sorry for your loss.” To which the wife replied "Thank you. If only I'd known he was so tired of lasagna, I would have packed something else.” Then she broke down in tears.

So the Boss stops at the Blond’s wife. “ I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't you wish you'd packed something else for your husband,?”
She looked at him and replied, “Don’t blame me, he packed his own lunch.”

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50 minutes ago, Dumpre said:

My mother does this, Its like looking into your soul.... Not a good feeling at all.

Especially when the eyes go black!

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CD2DEDBD-543D-44FA-BE49-B03242BA75D5.jpeg

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