Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 The response that Charlie T. Waite gave in a post yesterday brought this to mind. Watching an old episode of there is a scene in which a husband comes home to hear his wife's muffled screams from their garage as the sound of a car engine revs up and busts through the garage door from inside. Arriving at the inside of the garage, with the car now barreling down the dirt road, the husband sees his wife laying on the garage floor. Her mouth is taped shut, her feet are tied with a heavy rope with the other end attached to a large upright freezer. She has a barbed wire noose around her neck which is attached to a very long pile of heavy chain. The other end is attached to the bumper of the now speeding vehicle. As the chain unwinds, she continues to scream while frantically flailing about. You only have less than 15 seconds left until the chain is completely unwound, pulling everything tight and eventually decapitating her...... This is your garage, so you know where everything should be! What would you do? First: List the answer you came up with within 15 seconds of reading this. Then: List the answer after you had plenty of time to think about your options, the time it would take to accomplish it and whether it would work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perro Del Diablo Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 First thought be wire cutters after the barbwire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Cut the barbed wire, still 15 seconds might go by just taking in the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G W Wade Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Pull out Leatherman and cut barb wire Eyesa Horg beat me GW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Just now, G W Wade said: Pull out Leatherman and cut barb wire Eyesa Horg beat me GW I bet you beat me, I was heading to the drawer for cutters (linemans). The leatherman might be quicker depending on how fast you can open it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 21 minutes ago, Perro Del Diablo said: First thought be wire cutters after the barbwire 3 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said: Cut the barbed wire, still 15 seconds might go by just taking in the situation. 2 minutes ago, G W Wade said: Pull out Leatherman and cut barb wire Eyesa Horg beat me GW That was my thought; however, it came past the 15 second mark. Like the husband in the episode, most would also panic and end up not acting quick enough. Of course, knowing how disorganized we guys can be, even knowing a pair of wire cutters, pliers or leatherman would do the trick, we couldn't put our hands on it fast enough. I'm sure the villain in the episode intended for the husband to view the demise of his wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Ya'll must have some heavy-duty Leathermans, if they'll cut Bob wire. My first thought, before the thread was even fully opened, was SHOOT HIM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 All of my tools are kept locked up, so I guess she's screwed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Hangtree Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Well let's do the math: Car is "barreling" down the dirt road. Conservatively 30 mph, but probably faster. But we'll stick with 30. 30 mph = 158,400 feet per hour, or 44 feet per second. 15 seconds of reaction time before her death = 660 feet of chain laying on the floor. Who in the hell totes around 660 feet of chain with them while committing a burglary? Let's suppose that it is only 3/8" chain instead of "heavy duty" 1/2" chain. 3/8" chain weighs 1.41 pounds per foot. Therefore, total weight of chain = 930 lbs. My advice would be to relax, grab a beer from the fridge and wait. If the chain is indeed secured to the bumper of the getaway car, the weight of the chain will pull the bumper off the car long before car reaches the full extent of 930 lbs. worth of chain. Call the Police and tell them to be on the lookout for a car with no rear bumper. Then offer the wife a sip of your beer. And be kind. She'll need a few minutes to get over the ordeal before starting supper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Marshall, that is a well thought-out answer. Howsomever, when your wife sees that, instead of frantically trying to save her, you went and got a beer, all the explanation in the world will not HELP. You are a dead man. Or at least dee-vorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 1 minute ago, Alpo said: Marshall, that is a well thought-out answer. Howsomever, when your wife sees that, instead of frantically trying to save her, you went and got a beer, all the explanation in the world will not. You are a dead man. Or at least dee-vorced. I've frantically done many things for my ex and STILL got yelled at because I wasn't fast enough. A cold beer sounds really good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Hangtree Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 3 minutes ago, Alpo said: Marshall, that is a well thought-out answer. Howsomever, when your wife sees that, instead of frantically trying to save her, you went and got a beer, all the explanation in the world will not HELP. You are a dead man. Or at least dee-vorced. Went and got a beer, and called the Police. Multitasking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I ran out of time, but I have 13 seconds of video on my phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Hangtree Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 That's hilarious, J. Mark! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Springfield Slim SASS #24733 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 900 lbs of chain would not pull off the bumper as the ground is holding most of the weight. So I would take out my Leatherman which is ALWAYS on my belt and cut the barbed wire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I would grab my bolt cutters and cut the barbed wire where it meets the chain. I think I would get a gun in case Snydely Whiplash decides to come back and then I would free my wife from her bonds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Hangtree Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 24 minutes ago, Springfield Slim SASS #24733 said: 900 lbs of chain would not pull off the bumper as the ground is holding most of the weight. So I would take out my Leatherman which is ALWAYS on my belt and cut the barbed wire. But the bumper is still pulling 960 lbs of weight, regardless if the chain is on the ground or in the air. And, we haven't even figure in the drag coefficient of the chain rubbing against the road as it is pulled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Wake up, wander into the bathroom. Return to bed. Fall back asleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 48 minutes ago, Marshal Hangtree said: Well let's do the math: Car is "barreling" down the dirt road. Conservatively 30 mph, but probably faster. But we'll stick with 30. 30 mph = 158,400 feet per hour, or 44 feet per second. 15 seconds of reaction time before her death = 660 feet of chain laying on the floor. Who in the hell totes around 660 feet of chain with them while committing a burglary? Let's suppose that it is only 3/8" chain instead of "heavy duty" 1/2" chain. 3/8" chain weighs 1.41 pounds per foot. Therefore, total weight of chain = 930 lbs. My advice would be to relax, grab a beer from the fridge and wait. If the chain is indeed secured to the bumper of the getaway car, the weight of the chain will pull the bumper off the car long before car reaches the full extent of 930 lbs. worth of chain. Call the Police and tell them to be on the lookout for a car with no rear bumper. Then offer the wife a sip of your beer. And be kind. She'll need a few minutes to get over the ordeal before starting supper. Yep, she drives a Camry. That bumper's coming off. Then she can get ME a beer and explain how he got in to begin with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Noticing that the vehicle was a V.W. Bug, I was not concerned knowing the force at the end of the chain would snap the bug back to my driveway. By then my 45 would be out and take the stupid varmint into custody. Any other vehicle I would have done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Brules Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Let’s face it. The wife is going to die. You must then dedicate your life afterwards to coralling the culprit, Tie him up, hook onto his tongue with needle-nose pliers, pull it way out and push a very long meat skewed through his tongue at the mouth. Then, cut off his clothing, and start cutting chunks of him off with your Bowie knife. Barbecue the little chunks and feed them to the dog while he watches. Of course, that’s only the beginning. Find out where his family lives and grab one or two of them, kids included. Bring them back and start on them, while he watches. Make a video and play it endlessly back to him. You could probably become more inventive as you get into it. I imagine you could keep them alive for several weeks. Personally, for something like this, a grisly Vendetta is the only option. Cat Brules Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Hurry and get my Sharps rifle and put a bullet in the driver’s head! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 In 15 seconds, I would pull my pistol and shoot the barbed wire. YES, I think I would have time to place the wire right at the muzzle and shoot to cut it. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 23 minutes ago, Cat Brules said: Let’s face it. The wife is going to die. You must then dedicate your life afterwards to coralling the culprit, Tie him up, hook onto his tongue with needle-nose pliers, pull it way out and push a very long meat skewed through his tongue at the mouth. Then, cut off his clothing, and start cutting chunks of him off with your Bowie knife. Barbecue the little chunks and feed them to the dog while he watches. Of course, that’s only the beginning. Find out where his family lives and grab one or two of them, kids included. Bring them back and start on them, while he watches. Make a video and play it endlessly back to him. You could probably become more inventive as you get into it. I imagine you could keep them alive for several weeks. Personally, for something like this, a grisly Vendetta is the only option. Cat Brules Honestly, I like your thinking. I've always thought I would catch the culprit, skin them alive, hang them upside down from the local high bridge with some 'fuse' tied around their neck. THEN, pour BROMINE down their body. Somewhere in there, right before I thought they were gonna pass out, I would then pour a flammable material on them and light the fuse. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I've reconsidered, I'd grab a tie down strap and loop it through the chain dally off the other end onto my moving dolly and roll the wife onto it, and then shoot the video. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 44 minutes ago, Cat Brules said: Let’s face it. The wife is going to die. You must then dedicate your life afterwards to coralling the culprit, Tie him up, hook onto his tongue with needle-nose pliers, pull it way out and push a very long meat skewed through his tongue at the mouth. Then, cut off his clothing, and start cutting chunks of him off with your Bowie knife. Barbecue the little chunks and feed them to the dog while he watches. Of course, that’s only the beginning. Find out where his family lives and grab one or two of them, kids included. Bring them back and start on them, while he watches. Make a video and play it endlessly back to him. You could probably become more inventive as you get into it. I imagine you could keep them alive for several weeks. Personally, for something like this, a grisly Vendetta is the only option. Cat Brules So you're not the only one who suspected him of sleeping with your wife prior to you coming home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Springfield Slim SASS #24733 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I can drag a 250 lb container of lead up my drive way but I sure can't lift it. The bumper isn't coming off until it gets to the end, and by then your wife is toast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Actually, in 15 seconds, you have to ask yeowndangself: 1. Is she still pretty 2. is she a good cook 3. is her insurance policy up to date. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Lucky for me I don't HAVE a garage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 3 minutes ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said: Lucky for me I don't HAVE a garage. Reminds of of a Charlie Daniels song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 The "mess" in the garage is only a mess to the uninitiated. Grab the big pliers out of the second from the bottom drawer (they are in the back, on the right), cut the barbed wire, THEN mag dump into the back of the back of the car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabez Cowboy,SASS # 50129 Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 My Bolt Cutters Reside right by the door , grab them Cut the Chain or Barb Wire .... Give Her 30 minutes to get Supper Started after I free her .... Wonder if I shouldn't have acted so Quickly ,,,, When she is still fussing and crying after 45 Minutes instead of Starting Supper ... Jabez Cowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramblin Gambler Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 How long was the guy waiting for you to get home if she hadn't even started supper yet? Likely she'll have to dash inside to keep it from burning down the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Is the life ins , up to date how much ? ya know , I be a mite slow CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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