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Alpo

Things you would not name your kids

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In the book I am reading there's a young girl named Samantha Stevens. And I thought, "Why did her parents hate her that much?"

 

And that got me on names you would not want to give your children.

 

Adolf used to be a fine name, but I don't think anybody names their kid Adolf anymore.

 

If my last name was Oswald, I certainly would not name my kid Lee. If I was a Booth, I would not name him John. If my name was Monroe, I would not name my daughter Marilyn.

 

It would be a terrible thing, if my name was Sanchez, to name my daughter Linda. That puts a huge strain on her. Linda, in Spanish, means beautiful.

 

Archibald Bunker, James Olsen, Bruce Wayne, Roy Rogers, Ginger Rogers, John Wayne. The list is extremely long.

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Naming a child is personal, historic, generational and in spite of our best intentions, heartbreaking at times.

Naming a boy-child "Linn" is historic.

"Linn" was not uncommonly given to the firstborn male child, back when Ohio was still the West, back when Ohio was being sold by the Ohio Land Company out of Marietta.

Until this was explained to me, it caused my very young self an immense amount of grief ... for until I had that psychic life-ring to hold onto, I suffered terribly with what I saw as a girl's name.

Did my parents set out to cause me grief?
Most certainly not! -- my siblings also have historic names -- but in spite of our best intentions, sometimes our choice of a child's name blows up in our face, just like any other choice we make in life.

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back when I started 7th grade (3 of the greatest years of my life)  we had a guy name Captain Kennon named after Captain Steve Canyon of the funnies fame

 

 

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People do some very stupid things with children’s names.

 

The “off key” spelling of common names so their child is unique, like; Clarke instead of Clark. Dyana instead of Diana.

The kid goes through life having to spell or correct the spelling of their name.

 

The use of old family names. My mother-in-law would call every week my wife was pregnant with our daughter and hit her with old family names to name our daughter. My wife would roll her eyes and tolerate the “help” until one day when my mother-in-law suggested “Arvita Edith” if we had a girl. That was the day I stepped and and put my foot down. Arvita Edith...Please. “Old Maid” names suck. Apologies if you’re named Arvita. 

 

The ethnic naming of children. Sure, it’s great to celebrate your roots, but to pull the rug from under your kid from the get-go and alienating him or her with some made up BS ethnic name. That’s ridiculous. 

 

I work with a very diverse group of people of all religions and ethnic backgrounds. Many of them resent their names because of one reason or another. They get pretty excited when given nicknames. They feel more “American”. Some have taken American names as first names so that they would be more well received. Most do not name their children traditional names from their country or background. They give them an “American” first name followed by a traditional middle name and obviously, their last name.

 

Names are a moniker for life, in most cases. People should really think about that.

 

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I had a friend who's name was Betsy Baker.   Her mother used to tell her, "Never marry a man whose last name starts with the letter O, because then your initials would be B.O."

 

Betsy married a man named Steve Oder.

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1 hour ago, Alpo said:

In the book I am reading there's a young girl named Samantha Stevens. And I thought, "Why did her parents hate her that much?"

I don't get this. Are you referring to Bewitched? If so, I still don't get the problem.

And that got me on names you would not want to give your children.

 

Adolf used to be a fine name, but I don't think anybody names their kid Adolf anymore.

I frequent a Mexican restaurant and one of the owners, born since WWII is named Adolfo. I guess the Mexicans do not see the problem. 

If my last name was Oswald, I certainly would not name my kid Lee. If I was a Booth, I would not name him John. If my name was Monroe, I would not name my daughter Marilyn.

I know a John Booth. He's a cowboy shooter and that is not his alias.

It would be a terrible thing, if my name was Sanchez, to name my daughter Linda. That puts a huge strain on her. Linda, in Spanish, means beautiful.

Another one I don't get.

Archibald Bunker, James Olsen, Bruce Wayne, Roy Rogers, Ginger Rogers, John Wayne. The list is extremely long.

 

52 minutes ago, Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 said:

Naming a child is personal, historic, generational and in spite of our best intentions, heartbreaking at times.

Naming a boy-child "Linn" is historic.

"Linn" was not uncommonly given to the firstborn male child, back when Ohio was still the West, back when Ohio was being sold by the Ohio Land Company out of Marietta.

Until this was explained to me, it caused my very young self an immense amount of grief ... for until I had that psychic life-ring to hold onto, I suffered terribly with what I saw as a girl's name.

Did my parents set out to cause me grief?
Most certainly not! -- my siblings also have historic names -- but in spite of our best intentions, sometimes our choice of a child's name blows up in our face, just like any other choice we make in life.

One of my best friends in college was named Lynn. I never gave it much thought until one of our professors handed back our papers, we always sat together, and gave me (I went by Chris then) his paper and him mine. Chris got an A- and Lynn got a B. I wonder if the grades would have been reversed had the professor realized which was male and which was female.  :o

36 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

I recall kids named Chrystal Bell and Kelly Green.

My Orthopedic Surgeon is named Hunter Green.

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Allie, my college girlfriend's name was Dana ...
Fortunately it never caused TOO much confusion!

There were moments, though, running solo ... like when I was going for all the college scholarships I could get.

A scholarship is a scholarship, right?
I just didn't read the fine print when I took the Betty Crocker Future Homemaker of Tomorrow scholarship (and won) ... I didn't realize it was good only if I went to OSU with a Home Ec major.

I thought it would work for engineering.

I received a congratulations from our local senator addressed to Miss Linn Keller.

At least the local newspaper called the school (it's not a girl?)

And a lifetime of being misgendered ... I tried taking my paycheck through the bank drive-thru, they had a new girl, she asked if Linn was with me ... I was in the paramedic squad at the time and I gave her a funny look and said "I am Linn Keller."

The manager came over and spoke quietly to her, and the girl turned a remarkable shade of red ...

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A local news anchor is Neil McNeill.

A popular, successful local lawyer is Candice Apple.

My personal banker, when a local bank had them in the 90s, was Susan Dollar.

Some given names are almost as good as cas aliases.

 

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2 hours ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

People do some very stupid things with children’s names.

 

The “off key” spelling of common names so their child is unique, like; Clarke instead of Clark. Dyana instead of Diana.

The kid goes through life having to spell or correct the spelling of their name.

 

The use of old family names. My mother-in-law would call every week my wife was pregnant with our daughter and hit her with old family names to name our daughter. My wife would roll her eyes and tolerate the “help” until one day when my mother-in-law suggested “Arvita Edith” if we had a girl. That was the day I stepped and and put my foot down. Arvita Edith...Please. “Old Maid” names suck. Apologies if you’re named Arvita. 

 

The ethnic naming of children. Sure, it’s great to celebrate your roots, but to pull the rug from under your kid from the get-go and alienating him or her with some made up BS ethnic name. That’s ridiculous. 

 

I work with a very diverse group of people of all religions and ethnic backgrounds. Many of them resent their names because of one reason or another. They get pretty excited when given nicknames. They feel more “American”. Some have taken American names as first names so that they would be more well received. Most do not name their children traditional names from their country or background. They give them an “American” first name followed by a traditional middle name and obviously, their last name.

 

Names are a moniker for life, in most cases. People should really think about that.

 

I see it pretty much all day everyday in pharmacy. For a few years it's been the rage to name a kid some bizarre name they dreamed up or give them a common name and come up with some crazy @$$ way to misspell it.  I'd love to have a big red stamper made.......What The H*LL Were You Smoking??

JHC

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When I was in Jr. High in the 60s... we had an assistant principal named Mr. Bieter, pronounced with a "long E"

Yes.. he named his newborn son "Peter".
Some folks are just plain clueless
 

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26 minutes ago, bgavin said:

When I was in Jr. High in the 60s... we had an assistant principal named Mr. Bieter, pronounced with a "long E"

Yes.. he named his newborn son "Peter".
Some folks are just plain clueless
 

Holy Cow...that is pretty bad. I had a teacher named Mrs. Beiter. She pronounced it “biter”. Either pronunciation would be silly with names like Peter, Richard, Willie, etc...

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Dad worked with a gentleman named Richard and his last name was Head.

 

Gotta watch initials too, I went to high school with a young lady whose initials were A.S.S.

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2 minutes ago, Tyrel Cody said:

Dad worked with a gentleman named Richard and his last name was Head.

 

Gotta watch initials too, I went to high school with a young lady whose initials were A.S.S.

That must be a popular name in the “Head” family. I met the VP of a company I worked at many years ago. He said “My name is Richard Head...do not ever call me Dick!” He always said that with a smile and a chuckle. 

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A fellow pharmacist told me about a kid's name she saw pronounced shih-THEED. Yes, it was spelled Sh*thead.

JHC

 

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Posted (edited)

I used to work for a man named Moss. He named his son Pete.

 

I didn't mean this thread to be about the idiotic names. Le-ah (Leedashah) or Female (Feemolly) or Orange Jello (Orangelo).

 

I meant normal names, that would be a bad choice.

 

Samantha Stevens? All through school people would want her to twitch her nose and make the teacher disappear.

 

How about the Bunkers naming their daughter Edith? Be called Dingbat all her life.

 

How about if you grew up to look like Martha Canary or Margaret Hamilton (y'all remember her, right - Wicked Witch of the West). Be French and your name was Belle, or Italian named Bella, or Spanish named Linda. All three mean the same thing. Beautiful. Growing up with a name like Beauty would suck. Would suck worse if you weren't.

 

A Chinese kid named Bruce Lee BETTER study karate, 'cause he'll need it.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Alpo

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Okay Alpo. On your OP.

 

I met a girl named Alice Chalmers. Like the tractor “Allis Chalmers”.

 

I know a guy named Ron White, like the comedian. He is always remarking “No, I am not a comedian.”

 

 

 

 

 

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Went to school with a girl named Crystal Chandelier

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Posted (edited)

All my life I have struggled with three first names.  Roy Douglas Bryan.  Roy was my father; I’ve gone by Doug forever.  Don’t make your kids go by their middle names.  It took me an extra 20 minutes at the DMV last week to renew my license because the clerk had entered the wrong last name in her computer.  And there have been other times...the hospital emergency room took some extra time to admit me because they were looking for Roy Bryan in their records, as my pulmonary embolism progressed.

 

And then we named our daughter Anne Kathleen, and called her Katy.

 

Sorry, hon.

Edited by J-BAR #18287

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Posted (edited)

Worked with a Stanley Stanley, Went to school with Barbara Horhorne (sp) & also Robin Hohs

Edited by Eyesa Horg

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Posted (edited)

A few years ago, there was a congressman here in Massachusetts.   His name was Richard Swett. 

 

He didn't go by Richard.  Or Rich, or Rick. 

 

Believe it or not, there were bumperstickers on cars that read, Dick Swett for Congress.

 

Don't believe me?

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Swett

 

 

Edited by H. K. Uriah, SASS #74619

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J-Bar, try going down to Puertorico.  There your name is your first name, your father's last name, and your mother's last name.

 

When a woman marries she keeps her name.

 

So if Maria Sanchez marries Juan Gomez, she stays Maria Sanchez. If they have a kid named Pedro, his name is Pedro Gomez Sanchez.

 

I go down there to work. I had to sign in at the airport gate. I showed him my Florida driver's license. 14 hours later I'm attempting to go back to the motel. I have to sign out at the airport gate. They can't find any record of me signing in.

 

The morning guard looked at my license - John Doe Alpo - naturally assumed that Alpo was my mother's name, and signed me in as John Doe. Then when I was trying to leave, and told her that my name was Alpo, they couldn't find any listing for Alpo on the log. I had to look through it and find where the morning guard had screwed the pooch.

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The youngest son of a great Indian chief went to his father and asked "Oh  father, how did you choose the names for your three children?" The great chief  replied "My son, when your older brother was born, the first sight I saw after  the moment of his birth was a bear running through the woods; so I named him  running-bear. The morning your sister was born, the first sight I saw was a  beautiful star, so I named her morning-star. But why do you ask me such a question, two-dogs-fornicating?"

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Posted (edited)

Going into history, Hilary is a man's name.  So is Leslie.  At church we have several boys named Moses or Ambrose, several Basils, Elijahs, Vladimirs, and Pantelemons.  Women's names include Anastasia, Svetlana, Meropi, Vipassanna, and Marina.

It takes a lot for a name to seem odd to me.  The only ones that do are of the D'Jan'than or L'quichea etc.


 

Edited by Subdeacon Joe
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Posted (edited)

You left out Shaniqua...:ph34r:

Edited by J-BAR #18287
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My daughter and son-in-law work in a children’s diagnostic clinic.  One day they evaluated La-a.

 

When asked, the mother said the correct pronunciation was “La-dash-a”.

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I used to work with a guy named Banning Lindsey. He said most of his life everyone got his name bass ackwards. Of course no one could ever get Banning right. I always told him he should go by Fred at work. He never seemed to cotton to the idea.

JHC :P

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4 hours ago, Capt. James H. Callahan said:

I see it pretty much all day everyday in pharmacy. For a few years it's been the rage to name a kid some bizarre name they dreamed up or give them a common name and come up with some crazy @$$ way to misspell it.  I'd love to have a big red stamper made.......What The H*LL Were You Smoking??

JHC

Even common everyday names can become a rage. There were five Roberts in my elementary school class. Since we only had one class per grade we all answered every time the teacher said “ROBERT”. We never knew which one of us was in trouble until the teacher said “I mean Mr. XXX.

 

The five Roberts even followed me to work (not the same guys, just the number of Roberts). We had a joker at work who loved to sneak off into a corner and yell “Hey Bob” and get a chours of  “WHATS”. 

 

Of course as a youngster I was Bobby except to my Old Maid Aunt who spelled it Bobbie. In the late 1940’s that was definitely a “girls name”. What 5-6 year old boy wanted to be called a “girl”? Yuck!!

 

I finally figured out I don’t care what they can call me, just as long as they don’t call me late for dinner.

 

Cactus Jack Calder

(who was my Grandfather)

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39 minutes ago, Cactus Jack Calder said:

...

 

Cactus Jack Calder

(who was my Grandfather)

Do you use his photo as your avatar.

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21 minutes ago, Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 said:

Do you use his photo as your avatar.

Yep that’s him. The only photograph I have of him. I never knew Grandpa Calder. He was my mother’s father and he passed when Mom was 6 years old. A handsome gentleman.

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Grew up in an area where there were lots of folks with the last name of Fuchs. One of them was named Richard and you can guess what it turned into for a nickname. Poor guy, I would have changed my name.

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Knew a guy years ago who's last name was Hyman.  Of course his nickname was "Buster".

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Posted (edited)

I went to school with a feller named Richard Wild. His belt buckle said Dick. He always wrote his name last, first just to PO all the teachers.

 

A friend dated a gal named Candy Valentine. Her real name, not a stage name. ;)

 

Years ago a classmate's last name was Dick. Her dad was Gary. His brother was Harry. I kid you not.

 

I have a distant relative by marriage who's name was Dick Johnson. Yup. Really. His parents did that.

 

And I once worked with a guy named William Folde. Get it? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Dantankerous

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