Hit man

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

I've been watching a lot of old TV series, mostly CDs that I check out from the public library, and I have recently noticed that there seem to be a lot of characters who are hiring a hit on someone.  It got me to thinking:  how does someone, say a housewife or a business owner, just common folks, find a hit man?  It seems that there must be a yellow pages or website so a person could contact one.   I have looked at bulletin boards for business cards, but haven't found any.  And how do they pay for it?  Do hit men accept Master Card or Visa?  Do I need a photo ID to prove who I am?  Will they take a personal check, S&H Green Stamps of food stamps?  Do they have a payment plan for people who can't afford to pay for it all at once or can someone work it off or trade services?  They talk about taking out a contract.  Is this a legal document and do you need a lawyer, paralegal, or someone to witness it?  Do they offer senior or veteran discounts or do  they have coupons for specials like buy one - get one half off?

 

From the other end, how does a hit man get into the business?  I'd think they'd have to do some kind of advertising to get started, or if it's word of mouth, how do I find someone to ask?.  Is there a school for hitmen, of maybe some sort of apprenticeship, perhaps a business organization or labor union they can belong to?   Can an aspiring hitman work at it part time until he / she learns the trade well enough to go full time.  Do hit men have any benefits from their employers, a retirement plan or medical program?   Do they have Guild or Fraternity sort of thing, maybe a hit man lodge?  Do they have secret handshakes or decoder rings?   Do the better known ones give out autographs to fans.  Is there a hit man fan club?  Can I buy a hit man cap or tee shirt or some other thing, like an action figures or bobble head dolls. or cap guns? 

 

I think I need to go get some breakfast  My blood sugar is a bit low and I'm feeling . somewhat dehydrated.

[Cactus Jack Calder]

Forty,

 

Are you just “Alpo” curious, or do you have a target in mind?

Just asking for a friend!

 

CJ

[Michigan Slim]

It's official folks! Weed is legal in Arizona and Forty just burned a big fatty with Alpo!

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Forty and Alpo are organizing a business and Forty wants the business west of the Mississippi, Alpo can have the East.

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

The answer to most of the questions is YES. But they would have to kill you if they told you.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

There is a toll free number 1.888.HITMANN, that is answered at FBI HQ in Quantico.

[Michigan Slim]

41 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

There is a toll free number 1.888.HITMANN, that is answered at FBI HQ in Quantico.

Outsourced to a call center in Pakistan.

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

2 hours ago, Cactus Jack Calder said:

Forty,

 

Are you just “Alpo” curious, or do you have a target in mind?

Just asking for a friend!

 

CJ

If I have a target in mind I'll probably shoot him myself.  I don't need no steenkeen hit man.  

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

1 hour ago, Michigan Slim said:

It's official folks! Weed is legal in Arizona and Forty just burned a big fatty with Alpo!

I never use the stuff.  I've always been screwed up enough without it so why spend good money on something I don't need.....except for guns that is.

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Forty and Alpo are organizing a business and Forty wants the business west of the Mississippi, Alpo can have the East.

I was in business for myself for eleven years once.  I don't ever need that aggravation again.

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

1 hour ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said:

The answer to most of the questions is YES. But they would have to kill you if they told you.

If they come to get me I hope they bring a few friends, some shovels, and enough boxes to take their trash away with them

[Cyrus Cassidy #45437]

Lots of funny answers, but "backpage" and other web sites offer things like this.  You can download an internet browser called "Tor" to access the "dark web," which encompasses something like 90% of all internet traffic.  

[Subdeacon Joe]

My guess is that most get started by being told to do it.  Mob boss, loan shark, drug dealer, someone lets them know that they need to do it or something bad will happen to them or a loved one.

[Marshal Dan Troop 70448]

2 hours ago, Cactus Jack Calder said:

Forty,

 

Are you just “Alpo” curious, or do you have a target in mind?

Just asking for a friend!

 

CJ

LOL, those were my original thoughts. Who would be his first Target or is Forty looking for a part time job.

 

[The Shoer 27979]

At one time I knew a bunch of lowlife that would take care of things for me if I ask them to

[Pat Riot]

My Dad, ran with some rough fellas knew some people that could set one up with a hitman back in the 60’s and 70’s. I do not know any details on costs or how one went about it except you showed up at a specific bar and asked for a specific someone then later they came and got you for an interrogation to see if you were legit, had the money and weren’t a cop. 
I am quite sure that these days its much more sophisticated. 
For some reason I seem to recall the sum of $50,000 was the fee back then “if you wanted it done right”.

 

For all I know it was all bull crap. 
 

 

 

[Pat Riot]

My guess is right about now there’s a guy in a room somewhere reading this and calling someone and saying “I don’t know. It’s some kind of Cowboy Cult. They hang out in an online Saloon. This thing is Nationwide! What do you want us to do?…

[Widder, SASS #59054]

If you. become a Hitman, Just be sure your first assignment isn't on someone name 'The Boogyman' or 'The Widowmaker'.

 

..........Widder

 

[Blackwater 53393]

40 minutes ago, Pat Riot said:

My guess is right about now there’s a guy in a room somewhere reading this and calling someone and saying “I don’t know. It’s some kind of Cowboy Cult. They hang out in an online Saloon. This thing is Nationwide! What do you want us to do?…

‘S more’n nation wide!  We’re all over the world!! 

[Pat Riot]

24 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

‘S more’n nation wide!  We’re all over the world!! 

Ah, Maaaaan, why’d you go and tell ‘em that! We needed are out of country Pards to bail us out at some point. Now they now we’re worldwide….Oh, wait! That means Interpol…never mind. We’re good.

 

Proceed

[PaleWolf Brunelle, #2495L]

Back in the mid-80's low-level snitches were worth 5K (or so I'd heard). 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

1 hour ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

If you. become a Hitman, Just be sure your first assignment isn't on someone name 'The Boogyman' or 'The Widowmaker'.

 

..........Widder

 

Or Widder

[Michigan Slim]

1 hour ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

If you. become a Hitman, Just be sure your first assignment isn't on someone name 'The Boogyman' or 'The Widowmaker'.

 

..........Widder

 

Widder is easier and quicker.

[Tell Sackett SASS 18436]

Seems to me that most of the “hitmen” these idiots come up with are undercover police!!

[Tex Jones, SASS 2263]

3 hours ago, Pat Riot said:

My Dad, ran with some rough fellas knew some people that could set one up with a hitman back in the 60’s and 70’s. I do not know any details on costs or how one went about it except you showed up at a specific bar and asked for a specific someone then later they came and got you for an interrogation to see if you were legit, had the money and weren’t a cop. 
I am quite sure that these days its much more sophisticated. 
For some reason I seem to recall the sum of $50,000 was the fee back then “if you wanted it done right”.

 

For all I know it was all bull crap. 
 

 

 

Sure. They take the money and do nothing.  What can the "customer" do, call the police?

[Ozark Huckleberry]

If sometime over the next three days, a burner phone with a single pre-programmed number in the directory shows up in a brown envelope on your car seat, you'll have your answer.

 

Edit: Hypothetically speaking, of course.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Prepaid phone in the drugstore “HITMAN PREPROGRAMMED”

 

 

 

[Texas Maverick]

Just have them irritate Hillary and it will be taken care of. Enough said.

 

TM

[J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE]

On 7/26/2023 at 3:18 PM, PaleWolf Brunelle, #2495L said:

Back in the mid-80's low-level snitches were worth 5K (or so I'd heard). 

7500 and up here down south

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

Ad in the newspaper

 

 

 

Positions available:

Get away drivers

Safe crackers

Hit men 

Forgers

Collection agents

Defense attorneys

 

Send a recent resume with three reference who are not related to you

 

We are a drug free, smoke free, snitch free environment

[Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103]

Knew a fellow (rest his soul) who'd burn down a barn for a twelve-pack.

[Texas Maverick]

Had a cousin that rode with a rough biker gang and one of them told me when I was with my cousin if I ever needed to get rid of someone to look him up. Not sure how serious he was but he looked the part anyway.

 

TM