Chantry Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 The Five Stress Levels of Holiday Shopping Low Condition (Green) This condition is in effect when there is a low risk of idiots. An occasional idiot, but no more than normal. Guarded Condition (Blue) This condition is in effect when there are an increased number of idiots shopping. More than normal will result in infrequent cursing. Elevated Condition (Yellow) An Elevated Condition is declared when there is a significant risk of running into idiots when shopping. Results in a steady (but not constant) stream of curses and an occasional dirty look. High Condition (Orange) A High Condition is declared when there is a high risk of running into not only the idiots, but their significant other and their screaming spawn. Constant cursing and frequent dirty looks will occur. Severe Condition (Red) A Severe Condition reflects an extreme risk of running into idiots, their significant other, their screaming spawn and the rest of their damn family. Constant cursing, dirty looks and the overwhelming impulse to smack them upside their fool heads will happen. When this condition occurs, it is recommended that people stay home, drink to excess and shop online
Pat Riot Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 Just encountered Condition Yellow at Rural King. Grrrrrrr
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 2 minutes ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said: Just encountered Condition Yellow at Rural King. Grrrrrrr Was that while you were still in your car?
Pat Riot Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 Just now, The Original Lumpy Gritz said: Was that while you were still in your car? No, that occurs often at Menards. There is something about people going there and they become retards at Menards as soon as they hit the parking lot. Horns scare them too.
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 Condition White. I ordered from Amazon.
Rip Snorter Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 6 minutes ago, Chantry said: The Five Stress Levels of Holiday Shopping Low Condition (Green) This condition is in effect when there is a low risk of idiots. An occasional idiot, but no more than normal. Guarded Condition (Blue) This condition is in effect when there are an increased number of idiots shopping. More than normal will result in infrequent cursing. Elevated Condition (Yellow) An Elevated Condition is declared when there is a significant risk of running into idiots when shopping. Results in a steady (but not constant) stream of curses and an occasional dirty look. High Condition (Orange) A High Condition is declared when there is a high risk of running into not only the idiots, but their significant other and their screaming spawn. Constant cursing and frequent dirty looks will occur. Severe Condition (Red) A Severe Condition reflects an extreme risk of running into idiots, their significant other, their screaming spawn and the rest of their damn family. Constant cursing, dirty looks and the overwhelming impulse to smack them upside their fool heads will happen. When this condition occurs, it is recommended that people stay home, drink to excess and shop online There used to be a fancy Mall where I lived long ago. Had a Wine Bar with a great Bartender and good Jazz. I would frequently find a nice little table in a corner and turn my Wife loose to forage. Never stressed her at all.
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 Just now, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said: No, that occurs often at Menards. There is something about people going there and they become retards at Menards as soon as they hit the parking lot. Horns scare them too. This because they failed at Wal-Mart
Sedalia Dave Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 7 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Condition White. I ordered from Amazon. ^^^^ This ^^^^ Plus a few other on line stores like PSA, Brownells, and Midway USA.
Pat Riot Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Condition White. I ordered from Amazon. 53 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said: ^^^^ This ^^^^ Plus a few other on line stores like PSA, Brownells, and Midway USA. Samey-same. Though I actually did buy some sweaters and a book for my wife at a store. I bought myself a pistol for Christmas at a gun store. That was cool. I am just so easy to shop for…
Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428 Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 I'm in condition red in any store at any time of the year. I spent too many years working at a Target while going to college... I used up my lifetime allotment of dealing with the ignorant (and their idiot spouses and screaming feral children) during those years. In general, the unwashed masses should be avoided at all costs.
Sixgun Sheridan Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 45 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said: My traditional Christmas shirt. This time of year I like to hang a mistletoe off my belt between the two back pockets.
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 35 minutes ago, Tall Tale Todd said: I hate Christmas SCROOGE!
Subdeacon Joe Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 Hmmm....we should maybe think about buying some Christmas cards.
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted December 8, 2022 Posted December 8, 2022 13 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: SCROOGE! it ain't , that I dislike the day , BUT , there are a lot of bad things , that have happened , that put the season in a dark place CB
DeaconKC Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 One of my Life Goals used to be to go to Walmart on Black Friday, find a really good parking space and sit there with my back up lights on...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 3 hours ago, DeaconKC said: One of my Life Goals used to be to go to Walmart on Black Friday, find a really good parking space and sit there with my back up lights on... ............ you, Sir, are evil .......
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 4 hours ago, DeaconKC said: One of my Life Goals used to be to go to Walmart on Black Friday, find a really good parking space and sit there with my back up lights on... Get a half dozen traffic cones and put them in front of some primo parking spaces.
PowderRiverCowboy Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 16 hours ago, Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 said: it ain't , that I dislike the day , BUT , there are a lot of bad things , that have happened , that put the season in a dark place CB This , For reasons that I will just keep inside with the rest on my demons, Not worried about my soul sold that years ago. I go through the motions for kids and try not to ruin other Love for it ,but could care less about most Holidays and Dec- thru Mid January are not my best times.
Rye Miles #13621 Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 The only thing that ticks me off is these stupid politically correct idjits that are trying to tell us we can’t say MERRY CHRISTMAS! You know what I say.,,.. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Eyesa Horg Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 13 hours ago, DeaconKC said: One of my Life Goals used to be to go to Walmart on Black Friday, find a really good parking space and sit there with my back up lights on... That's pretty comical, I like it!
Rip Snorter Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 40 minutes ago, Rye Miles #13621 said: The only thing that ticks me off is these stupid politically correct idjits that are trying to tell us we can’t say MERRY CHRISTMAS! You know what I say.,,.. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Yup! I make a point of saying Merry Christmas as well as "God Bless you" when someone sneezes, not much into Easter with the kids grown, but I'll add a Happy Easter for effect.
Eyesa Horg Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 40 minutes ago, Rye Miles #13621 said: The only thing that ticks me off is these stupid politically correct idjits that are trying to tell us we can’t say MERRY CHRISTMAS! You know what I say.,,.. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! We've had people bitching about Christmas trees on the town green, apparently it annoys religions that don't have trees.
Rip Snorter Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 3 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said: We've had people bitching about Christmas trees on the town green, apparently it annoys religions that don't have trees. It isn't about religion, it is about tiny control freaks.
PowderRiverCowboy Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 39 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said: We've had people bitching about Christmas trees on the town green, apparently it annoys religions that don't have trees. The tree isnt about Religion except if you are a tree hugger , Its about Tradition, their lives suck so yours should too .
Cypress Sun Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 45 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said: It isn't about religion, it is about tiny control freaks. Throw a couple of camels out there...it'll be fine.
Rip Snorter Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 14 minutes ago, Cypress Sun said: Throw a couple of camels out there...it'll be fine. And it isn't even hump day.
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 4 hours ago, Cypress Sun said: Throw a couple of camels out there...it'll be fine. Yumm, roasted camel.
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 On 12/8/2022 at 11:54 AM, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Condition White. I ordered from Amazon. Atta boy, Mo. Sure makes my BP settle down.
Cypress Sun Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 8 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Yumm, roasted camel. Oh Boy...a self-basting two humper!
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted December 9, 2022 Posted December 9, 2022 12 minutes ago, Cypress Sun said: Oh Boy...a self-basting two humper! For a wedding feast camel stuffed with lambs stuffed with chicken and rice. An Arab version of turducken
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