It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

With the smile on his face, I would say there wasn't any backless top involved.

[sassnetguy50]

X2, finding a model who'll go topless when her top isn't pictured is easy.  Yes, there could be tape or something on the front.

[Alpo]

I recall a LIFE IN THESE UNITED STATES. The dirty old man that owned the store at the beach put a sign in the window. THE ORDER IS FREE FOR FEMALES IN TOPLESS BATHING SUITS.

 

Mama waited outside and sent her 7 year old daughter in with a list.

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

 

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

3 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

 ........ looks like she/he/it fell into a tacklebox ...... 

 

 

[Eyesa Horg]

4 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

It's just misunderstood!

[DocWard]

6 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

Criminy Joe, that one shoulda come with a warning! Now I need brain bleach for the image and to clean my computer monitor from the caption. I might have nightmares.

[Eyesa Horg]

I actually saw one those at the fair a few years ago. Had the lumps/horn and the tarp grommets along with the hardware, but not all the make up or contacts. For some reason I find the contacts creepy.

Edited May 17, 2023 by Eyesa Horg

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

1 hour ago, DocWard said:

 

Criminy Joe, that one shoulda come with a warning! Now I need brain bleach for the image and to clean my computer monitor from the caption. I might have nightmares.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[DocWard]

33 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

Other times, it could have been…

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]

The book of Genesis, from a cat's point of view

 

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

9 minutes ago, Alpo said:

The book of Genesis, from a cat's point of view

 

On the eighth day God created dogs to keep the cat on its toes. 

[Blackwater 53393]

47 minutes ago, Alpo said:

The book of Genesis, from a cat's point of view

 

On the ninth day, man created the violin, other stringed instruments, tennis rackets, and special sutures in order to make AT LEAST SOME PART of a damned cat useful!!

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

12 hours ago, Alpo said:

I recall a newspaper photograph I saw once. The girl was wearing a bathing suit cut very similar to this. But completely backless.

She was wearing a maxi skirt (this was back in the '60s) and yourHER hair was long enough that it covered up the strap going around her neck.

 

The newspaper showed her from the back and from the front. Said that people who saw her from the back withWOULD almost break a leg trying to get up to her and and around her so they could see the front.

 

I'm assuming that girl in the top picture is wearing a similar outfit.

Okaaay, it’s still a great way to start any day! 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Sedalia Dave]

There once was a man from Peru.

Whose Limerick stopped at line two.

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Sedalia Dave]

There once was a man from Verdun.

[DeaconKC]

[Subdeacon Joe]

“I got in touch with a friend of mine who works at a research reactor, and asked him what he thought would happen to someone who tried to swim in their radiation containment pool. “In our reactor?” He thought about it for a moment. “You’d die pretty quickly, before reaching the water, from gunshot wounds.”
― Randall Munroe: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

Shortest poem ever:

                                                "Fleas"

                              Adam

                              Had 'em.

[Joe LaFives #5481]

On 5/14/2023 at 9:04 PM, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Stanley was on safari through Uganda. He came across a woman with a grossly extended lower lip.  He said,

 

”Ubangi?”

 

”Ubetcha!”

"I dated a girl from Africa the other day."

"Ubangi?"

"NO I didn't get to first base.  "

 

The others are:

"I was gambling with some natives in Africa the other day,"

"Zulu's"?

"No, I won"

 

"I had an operation the other day."

"Have a scar?"

" NO thanks I don't smoke"

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

1 hour ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

Shortest poem ever:

                                                "Fleas"

                              Adam

                              Had 'em.

Shortest blues song ever:

 

"I didn't wake up this morning..."

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

1 hour ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

Shortest poem ever:

                                                "Fleas"

                              Adam

                              Had 'em.

 

  .... a slightly longer poem:

 

                                             'cause.

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]

I ordered a holster. The snap did not work. It snapped but it would not unsnap. Fortunately I tried snapping it before I put a gun in it. So I got in touch with the manufacturer and said I want my money back this thing is doesn't work, and they wanted the picture showing that it didn't work.

 

So I had 100 lb weight sitting in a hand truck, and I clamped the holster to the top of the hand truck, and then taking hold of the safety strap I tried to get it to unlatch.

 

 

Best idea I could come up with. How do you show a picture of something doesn't work?

 

 

[DeaconKC]

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]