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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe

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3 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

fh1.jpg

That would get either an invitation to come over for the searing and grilling of hunks of beef while drinking a cold one or a K--- my A-- around here.

Regards

:FlagAm:  :FlagAm:  :FlagAm:

Gateway Kid

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4 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

fh1.jpg

My response would be to cook meat every night and a neighborhood BBQ every weekend!  You want to eat vegan, be my guest, but that does NOT give you the right to force me to change my life style.

 

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In that lawsuit, I can't help but wonder who was there first.

 

She not only complained about their cooking meat, but she complained about their smoking tobacco and their noisy children playing.

 

Now if I've got five kids, and they're always out in the backyard running around and playing and making noise, and you move in next door to these five kids running around making noise and then complain about the noise? Too damn bad.

 

But if I'm calm and peaceful and living a nice relaxed life, and somebody moves in next door bringing their five spoiled noisy brats with them - well yeah. I'd complain.

 

The meat - sorry lady. Suck it up. The tobacco - again, suck it up. But the noise?

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11 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

fh1.jpg

 

 

Dear Sarah, if it bothers you so much maybe you should consider closing your own windows.  Also, examine your beliefs and find out why what others do gets you in such a state.  Could it be that deep down you really want to be an omnivore as humans are designed to be?  

Also, since you mention being bothered by cooking smells, could you cut back on some of the odd spices you use?  The smells of some of the curries, and the kombucha are enough to gag a vulture.  

Thank you for your consideration.


 

52 minutes ago, Alpo said:

But if I'm calm and peaceful and living a nice relaxed life, and somebody moves in next door bringing their five spoiled noisy brats with them - well yeah. I'd complain.

 

 

If they're making a lot of noise before about 0800 or after 2100 I'd complain, or if I worked nights and had to sleep during the day I'd politely explain and ask if they could maybe moderate the noxe between certain hours.  

When I was in college some of the neighbors in the apartments adjoi8ng tended to be quite noisy until the wee small hours.  Finally I got fed up and mentioned to them that I had to be up at about 0400.  That meant that their partying after about 2300 was really cutting into my sleep.  I didn't ask them to tone it down, just mentioned that I could be VERY noisy at 0400.  VERY noisy.  

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Just now, LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L said:

snake advice.jpg

It works as well as telling a woman to Calm Down!  

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33 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

May be an image of 1 person, dog and text

Just go ahead, and then blame it on a dog.

I wouldn't, but it's good to have alternative solutions...

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That reminds me of a Love Boat episode. One of the passengers was an old girlfriend of Captain Stubing's, and seeing this good looking single lady made him very aware of his table muscle.

 

So he goes to see Doc and asks him, "What's the best way to lose weight fast?"

 

Doc replies, FAST.

 

The captain says, "Yes, lose it fast", and doc says, NO, FAST. DON'T EAT.

 

The captain also starts jogging around the ship. If I remember correctly, losing weight was counterproductive in this instance, because the girl he was trying to impress liked guys with a little cushion for the pushin'.

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Makes sense to me. Chinese restaurant I used to eat at a lot had a dish the owner had made up. You had to ask for it - it wasn't on the menu. TWO KINDS OF MEAT.

 

It was very good, but it didn't have a fancy name, like "double sauteed sliced pork" or "kung pao chicken". It was simply "two kinds of meat".

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