It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Sedalia Dave]

[Sedalia Dave]

[Gateway Kid SASS# 70038 Life]

3 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

That would get either an invitation to come over for the searing and grilling of hunks of beef while drinking a cold one or a K--- my A-- around here.

Regards

    

Gateway Kid

[Clay Mosby]

4 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

My response would be to cook meat every night and a neighborhood BBQ every weekend!  You want to eat vegan, be my guest, but that does NOT give you the right to force me to change my life style.

 

[Texas Joker]

https://globalnews.ca/news/5853199/vegan-sues-bbq-neighbours/

[Alpo]

In that lawsuit, I can't help but wonder who was there first.

 

She not only complained about their cooking meat, but she complained about their smoking tobacco and their noisy children playing.

 

Now if I've got five kids, and they're always out in the backyard running around and playing and making noise, and you move in next door to these five kids running around making noise and then complain about the noise? Too damn bad.

 

But if I'm calm and peaceful and living a nice relaxed life, and somebody moves in next door bringing their five spoiled noisy brats with them - well yeah. I'd complain.

 

The meat - sorry lady. Suck it up. The tobacco - again, suck it up. But the noise?

[Subdeacon Joe]

11 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

 

Dear Sarah, if it bothers you so much maybe you should consider closing your own windows.  Also, examine your beliefs and find out why what others do gets you in such a state.  Could it be that deep down you really want to be an omnivore as humans are designed to be?  

Also, since you mention being bothered by cooking smells, could you cut back on some of the odd spices you use?  The smells of some of the curries, and the kombucha are enough to gag a vulture.  

Thank you for your consideration.

 

52 minutes ago, Alpo said:

But if I'm calm and peaceful and living a nice relaxed life, and somebody moves in next door bringing their five spoiled noisy brats with them - well yeah. I'd complain.

 

 

If they're making a lot of noise before about 0800 or after 2100 I'd complain, or if I worked nights and had to sleep during the day I'd politely explain and ask if they could maybe moderate the noxe between certain hours.  

When I was in college some of the neighbors in the apartments adjoi8ng tended to be quite noisy until the wee small hours.  Finally I got fed up and mentioned to them that I had to be up at about 0400.  That meant that their partying after about 2300 was really cutting into my sleep.  I didn't ask them to tone it down, just mentioned that I could be VERY noisy at 0400.  VERY noisy.  

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Guest BigBelle]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Stanley was on safari through Uganda. He came across a woman with a grossly extended lower lip.  He said,

 

”Ubangi?”

 

”Ubetcha!”

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Sedalia Dave]

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L]

[Brazos John]

Just now, LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L said:

It works as well as telling a woman to Calm Down!  

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[sassnetguy50]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Brazos John]

33 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Just go ahead, and then blame it on a dog.

I wouldn't, but it's good to have alternative solutions...

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

 

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

1 hour ago, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said:

  

 

Hunter Biden job interview.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]

That reminds me of a Love Boat episode. One of the passengers was an old girlfriend of Captain Stubing's, and seeing this good looking single lady made him very aware of his table muscle.

 

So he goes to see Doc and asks him, "What's the best way to lose weight fast?"

 

Doc replies, FAST.

 

The captain says, "Yes, lose it fast", and doc says, NO, FAST. DON'T EAT.

 

The captain also starts jogging around the ship. If I remember correctly, losing weight was counterproductive in this instance, because the girl he was trying to impress liked guys with a little cushion for the pushin'.

[Sedalia Dave]

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1375455062998979?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

I used to know this guy.

I stay away from him now.

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

 

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

[Subdeacon Joe]

I've had that.   Also the Mexican version.

 

[Alpo]

Makes sense to me. Chinese restaurant I used to eat at a lot had a dish the owner had made up. You had to ask for it - it wasn't on the menu. TWO KINDS OF MEAT.

 

It was very good, but it didn't have a fancy name, like "double sauteed sliced pork" or "kung pao chicken". It was simply "two kinds of meat".

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[DocWard]

10 hours ago, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said:

  

I’ll say. He didn’t crash.

[Alpo]

11 hours ago, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said:

  

I recall a newspaper photograph I saw once. The girl was wearing a bathing suit cut very similar to this. But completely backless.

 

 

She was wearing a maxi skirt (this was back in the '60s) and yourHER hair was long enough that it covered up the strap going around her neck.

 

The newspaper showed her from the back and from the front. Said that people who saw her from the back withWOULD almost break a leg trying to get up to her and and around her so they could see the front.

 

I'm assuming that girl in the top picture is wearing a similar outfit.

Edited May 17, 2023 by Alpo