Subdeacon Joe Posted May 8, 2023 Author Share Posted May 8, 2023 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 8, 2023 Author Share Posted May 8, 2023 While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several nurses were wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. "Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away." 2 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 8, 2023 Author Share Posted May 8, 2023 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L Posted May 8, 2023 Share Posted May 8, 2023 You know, I’m pretty sure they stopped making ghosts after the Civil War. You never see a ghost with a man bun or smoking a bubblegum flavored vape. 1 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 8, 2023 Share Posted May 8, 2023 WHODA THUNK IT ? 1 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconKC Posted May 8, 2023 Share Posted May 8, 2023 1 hour ago, LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L said: You know, I’m pretty sure they stopped making ghosts after the Civil War. You never see a ghost with a man bun or smoking a bubblegum flavored vape. That's because they are afraid to leave their Mom's basement. 2 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 8, 2023 Author Share Posted May 8, 2023 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 53 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said: Back in the early eighties I go in this convenience store. There's a shopping cart sitting up near the counter. I have no idea what was in it but there was a sign on the cart said that stuff was "ON SAIL". So I told the manager - you know you spelled "sale" wrong on your sign. He said that he was aware of that. Just about everybody that came in the store told him that he had spelled it wrong. And they bought one. He said for about 2 weeks it had sat there with the word spelled correctly, and almost nobody bought any. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 A more or less accurate account of a bit of Welsh history. Heather Rose Jones, 'Welsh History 101' Welsh History 101(Tune: "The Ash Grove"] If ever you wander out by the Welsh border Come stop by and see me and all of my kin I'm Morgan ap Daffyd ap Gwion ap Hywell Ap Ifor ap Madoc ap Rhodri ap Gwyn We'll feast you on mutton and harp for your pleasure And give you a place to sleep out of the cold Or maybe we'll meet you out on the dark roadway And rob you of horses and weapons and gold My neighbor from England has come across raiding Slain six of my kinsmen and burned down my hall It cannot be borne this offense and injustice I've only killed four of his, last I recall I'll send for my neighbors, Llewellyn and Owain We'll cut him down as for the border he rides But yesterday Owain stole three of my cattle So first I'll retake them and three more besides We need a strong prince to direct our resistance Heroic, impartial, of noble degree My brother's wife's fourth cousin's foster-son, Gruffydd Is best for the job as I'm sure you'll agree What matter that Rhys is the old prince's nephew He's exiled to Ireland and will not return I know this for every time boats he is building I send my spies money to see that they burn Last evening my brother and I were at war Over two feet of land on a boundary we share But early this morning, I hear he's been murdered I'll not rest until I avenge him, I swear Yes, we are just plain folk who mind our own business Honest and loyal and full of good cheer So if you should wander our by the Welsh border Come stop by and meet all the friendly folk hereBy Heather Rose Joneshttps://youtu.be/e7pDtqavp0Ehttps://youtu.be/y9f2qKBocVg 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 THE SONG OF THE SHIELD WALL or 600 years of Saxon history, in one minute and 47 seconds Hasten, on sea-steed, over the swan-road, Foam-bellied ships on the froth of the sea! For Hengest has called us from Gotland and Frisia To Vortigern's country, his army to be. We'll take our pay there in sweeter than silver, We'll take our plunder in richer than gold, For Hengest has promised us land for our fighting, Land that the sons of the Saxons shall hold! Hasten, on fjords-men, down to the river; Dragon-prowed ships on the in-flowing tide. The linden-wood shield and the old spear of ash-wood Are needed again by the cold waterside. Draw up the shield-wall, my shoulder-companions; Later, whenever our story is told, They'll say that we died guarding what we call dearest, Land that the sons of the Saxons shall hold! Hasten, on house-carls, north to the Danelaw; Harald Hardrada comes over the sea! His longships are laden with bersarks from Norway To claim Canute's crown and our master to be. Bitter he'll find there the bite of our spear-points, Hard ruling Northmen too strong to die old. We'll give him six feet - - plus as much as he's taller - - Of land that the sons of the Saxons do hold! Hasten on southward, strong son of Godwin Victory is sweet and your men have fought hard, But William the Bastard has landed at Pevensey, Burning the land you have promised to guard. Draw up the spears on the hill-tops of Hastings, Fight till the sun drops and evening grows cold, And die with the last of your Saxons around you, Holding the land you were given to hold! 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 40 minutes ago, Alpo said: THE SONG OF THE SHIELD WALL or 600 years of Saxon history, in one minute and 47 seconds Hasten, on sea-steed, over the swan-road, Foam-bellied ships on the froth of the sea! For Hengest has called us from Gotland and Frisia To Vortigern's country, his army to be. We'll take our pay there in sweeter than silver, We'll take our plunder in richer than gold, For Hengest has promised us land for our fighting, Land that the sons of the Saxons shall hold! Hasten, on fjords-men, down to the river; Dragon-prowed ships on the in-flowing tide. The linden-wood shield and the old spear of ash-wood Are needed again by the cold waterside. Draw up the shield-wall, my shoulder-companions; Later, whenever our story is told, They'll say that we died guarding what we call dearest, Land that the sons of the Saxons shall hold! Hasten, on house-carls, north to the Danelaw; Harald Hardrada comes over the sea! His longships are laden with bersarks from Norway To claim Canute's crown and our master to be. Bitter he'll find there the bite of our spear-points, Hard ruling Northmen too strong to die old. We'll give him six feet - - plus as much as he's taller - - Of land that the sons of the Saxons do hold! Hasten on southward, strong son of Godwin Victory is sweet and your men have fought hard, But William the Bastard has landed at Pevensey, Burning the land you have promised to guard. Draw up the spears on the hill-tops of Hastings, Fight till the sun drops and evening grows cold, And die with the last of your Saxons around you, Holding the land you were given to hold! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 https://www.facebook.com/reel/133059319754820?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconKC Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 https://www.facebook.com/reel/6842545795762602?s=yWDuG2&fs=e 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 5 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 A Mom is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns. "It is not polite." "OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?" "Now really," the mother says, "These are personal questions and are really none of your business." Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?" "Those are enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play. "My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend. "Well," said the friend, "All you need to do is look at her driver's license. It's like a report card; it has everything on it." Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32." The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?" "I also know that you weigh 140 pounds." The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?" "And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce." "Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?" "Because you got an F in sex. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 1 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 10, 2023 Author Share Posted May 10, 2023 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 I believe they titled that correctly. That girl is great! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 ..... I wonder how she is at balancing a cheque book ....... ? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted May 11, 2023 Share Posted May 11, 2023 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 11, 2023 Share Posted May 11, 2023 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassnetguy50 Posted May 11, 2023 Share Posted May 11, 2023 23 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: ..... I wonder how she is at balancing a cheque book ....... ? I'd bet she can balance it anywhere you request, head, elbow, knee, or toe. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted May 12, 2023 Share Posted May 12, 2023 1 1 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted May 12, 2023 Share Posted May 12, 2023 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 12, 2023 Author Share Posted May 12, 2023 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassnetguy50 Posted May 12, 2023 Share Posted May 12, 2023 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 and then the FIGHT started 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 13, 2023 Author Share Posted May 13, 2023 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 14, 2023 Author Share Posted May 14, 2023 54 minutes ago, Alpo said: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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