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Phone rings.

 

Robo voice announced that they have sent me multiple mailings about my car warranty. (They always say this, but have not)

 

Press 5 to speak to an agent, or press 9 to be removed from their call list.  (I've pressed 9 a BUNCH of times in the past.  Nine dinna work)

 

So I pressed 5.

 

"Agent" eventually answers and asks me to tell him the make and model of my car.

 

Instead, I said "No.  But what I WILL tell you is this:  The next time you people call me, I am going to crawl through the phone line, grab you - or whoever else it is who called me - by your $*&^ing  Adam's apple, rip it out, and stuff it up your nose!"

 

Huh!  The fella hung up on me.

 

How rude of him!  :huh:

 

 

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Posted (edited)

You should have said you were Special Agent Hardpan from the FCC Telecommunications Fraud Division and were just verifying that someone was physically there so that the field agents wouldn't have to bust down a door for no reason. Then Instruct them to open the door and stand with their back to the door, fingers interlaced behind their head until the agents arrived. Ask them to leave the phone off the hook so that you can document the exact time of the arrest and save the agents from having to pay those long distance roaming charges.

 

:lol:

Edited by Sedalia Dave
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I assume you don’t have a “block this caller” feature on your phone. I do that all the time!

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4 minutes ago, Rye Miles #13621 said:

I assume you don’t have a “block this caller” feature on your phone. I do that all the time!

 

I do. 

 

But using it is an exercise in futility.  They have some sort of phony number generator... never the same number twice.   

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That’s true enough but I just keep blocking whatever number they throw at me. I guess I’m more stubborn than they are! :P

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15 minutes ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

 

I do. 

 

But using it is an exercise in futility.  They have some sort of phony number generator... never the same number twice.   

iPhone.  I've turn on the feature that blocks ALL calls UNLESS their number is in my contact list, their call goes directly to voice mail.  

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5 minutes ago, Matthew Duncan said:

iPhone.  I've turn on the feature that blocks ALL calls UNLESS their number is in my contact list, their call goes directly to voice mail.  

 

Unfortunately, that's not an option for me.  As an active Scout volunteer* I get a LOT of "first time" calls from parents, Eagle Scout candidates, and colleagues.

 

*Multiple positions and committees at Troop, District, and Council levels, counselor for thirteen merit badges, and more.

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4 minutes ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

*Multiple positions and committees at Troop, District, and Council levels, counselor for thirteen merit badges, and more.

     

 

    I salute you, Sir

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16 minutes ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

 

Unfortunately, that's not an option for me.  As an active Scout volunteer* I get a LOT of "first time" calls from parents, Eagle Scout candidates, and colleagues.

 

*Multiple positions and committees at Troop, District, and Council levels, counselor for thirteen merit badges, and more.

Their call would be screened by voice mail and you can promptly return their call. 

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Posted (edited)

If I am in the mood I will hold for the agent or press whatever button to get an “agent”. If a man answers in my best flamboyant lispy voice I ask them what they are wearing right now. Usually they hang up and don’t bother me anymore. If they respond with what they are wearing I then explain how much fun it would be to tear it off them and have my way with them. Then they always hang up. :D

 

If a woman answers I just use my regular voice but say the same things. I did have one lady play along and I must say that was one phone conversation that was actually a lot of fun. :lol:

 

I now have my phone set to send all non “Contacts” calls to voicemail. 
I never get voicemails. It must be working. ;)


 

EDIT: I’ll tell you who I would like to get my hands on. Those #%€£$&@*s that came up with auto correct or whatever that crap is that replaces words for you. 

Edited by Pat Riot, SASS #13748
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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

 

Unfortunately, that's not an option for me.  As an active Scout volunteer* I get a LOT of "first time" calls from parents, Eagle Scout candidates, and colleagues.

 

*Multiple positions and committees at Troop, District, and Council levels, counselor for thirteen merit badges, and more.

These are people who will be motivated to leave a message. They will, and then you can add them to your contact list.  
 

Edited by Abilene Slim SASS 81783
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It is alleged that I've answered "unknown caller" a time or three with: Arkham Insane Asylum Warden Joker speaking, how might I be of assistance?

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2 hours ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

EDIT: I’ll tell you who I would like to get my hands on. Those #%€£$&@*s that came up with auto correct or whatever that crap is that replaces words for you. 

 

autocorrect.jpg

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For those guys (usually calling from India) that call and go into some silly routine or another. about this, that, or the other, I listen to them for a few seconds, then I tell him, “Can you hurry this up, please?  Your mother is upstairs in bed waiting for me!” 

      THEN they hang up.  :-)

 

Cat Brules

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20 hours ago, Rye Miles #13621 said:

That’s true enough but I just keep blocking whatever number they throw at me.

As of this writing, I have 759 blocked numbers in an Excel sheet.
Comcast only allows me to block 25 numbers, so I unblock the oldest when I want to add a new number to the block list.
The rest, I faithfully report to CallerName.Com as "Unsafe" numbers.

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For several years in the mid 1960s, my dad was the assistant superintendent of Nashville’s Metro Jail. As the asst. super, he worked the night shift. Most of the week, he was the only one at home during the day.

 

 I can’t count the times that I’d call the house and his drowsy voice would answer, “Metro Jail!”

 

I wonder how many people called the house and immediately hung up in shock and surprise!!

 

Maybe I’ll start answering those unknown numbers that way!! :o :lol:

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4 hours ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

For several years in the mid 1960s, my dad was the assistant superintendent of Nashville’s Metro Jail. As the asst. super, he worked the night shift. Most of the week, he was the only one at home during the day.

 

 I can’t count the times that I’d call the house and his drowsy voice would answer, “Metro Jail!”

 

I wonder how many people called the house and immediately hung up in shock and surprise!!

 

Maybe I’ll start answering those unknown numbers that way!! :o :lol:

I use, "Lee County Coroner's Office,  how may I direct your call?" delivered in a bored, business tone- like I've said it 1000 times.  A gasp and a dialtone is not unheard of.

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One guy called from the IRS and said he needed my Social Security # to verify my bill. Apparently  I owed some money and I could be arrested if I didn’t comply.  I told him to take his phone and shove it up his &$@, he hung up!:lol:

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22 hours ago, Innocent Bystander said:

I've decided to use an Indian accent and say "Why are you caliing me, I'm down the street from you! By the way, your Windows operating system needs to be updated, may I help you do that?"

I do pretty much the same thing; (Best Indian accent), "Hello, this is Bob from microsoft. Our technicians have detected a problem with your computer". 

When I do that at work while on speaker, I get a round of laughs.

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Posted (edited)

I've been tempted to answer the phone with, "Is it done? I told you not to call this number until it's done." but I haven't did it yet.

Edited by Smuteye John SASS#24774
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23 minutes ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

I've been tempted to answer the phone with, "Is it done? I told you not to call this number until it's done." but I haven't did it yet.

Oh c’mon do it!!! :lol:

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On 5/14/2021 at 3:05 PM, Matthew Duncan said:

iPhone.  I've turn on the feature that blocks ALL calls UNLESS their number is in my contact list, their call goes directly to voice mail.  

No cell service here. Wired phone. Not everybody lives in the city. :rolleyes:

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1 minute ago, Utah Bob #35998 said:

No cell service here. Wired phone. Not everybody lives in the city. :rolleyes:

Then a good old fashion answering machine would be beneficial 

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Warranty callers, I tell the truth.

 

1994 F-150 automatic, straight six engine.

 

They end the call there.

 

 

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I have NoMoRobo installed on our land line.
Even then, we still get SO many telemarketer scam calls, my Comcast voicemail is perpetually full.
Before we kicked AT&T to the curb for chronic line problems, our old-fashioned answering machine was chock full every day.

We can always tell when a new list comes out (every few days), because the calls increase a whole lot.

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On 5/14/2021 at 4:48 PM, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

 

I do. 

 

But using it is an exercise in futility.  They have some sort of phony number generator... never the same number twice.   

I still get those damn calls and now the caller ID says it's my neighbor. I wish I could actually crawl thru the line and remove an adams apple! Our car wasn't even a week old when we started getting the warranty calls!

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I stopped answering my personal cell phone if the call is from a number I do not recognize.  Unfortunately I still have to answer my work cell phone regardless of the number shown.  "Sheriff's Department, Deputy McPherson" often does not get any reaction.  Only after asking "Are you sure you wanted to call the ___________ Sheriff's Department?" once or twice or three times will they say "What?"  [click]  I don't think the S.D. has a student loan or car warranty.  idjits

 

Angus

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I told one I heard his mother, after running out of customers in Sonagchi, (Calcutta) moved on to Kamathipura, in Mumbai 

I think I upset him because he said some words I didn't understand and hung up.

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