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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe
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My son has a similar view as Boom Operator on a KC-10.

Signed,

His Proud Dad  :FlagAm:

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6 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

I Dont Understand why I keep missing 817494295674_n.jpg

Don’t you hate it when they wink at you before taking the shot?

 

CJ

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2 hours ago, Texas Joker said:

Keep your firing eye closed to preserve night vision.... til night I guess

Back when I was playing D&D, one guy played a thief that wore an eye patch. And when they went out of the bright sunlight into a dark castle or a cave, he would move the patch to the other eye. The eye that it had the patch over it was already adjusted to the dark.

 

Such was the theory, anyhow.

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A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.

His bookkeeper is deaf and dumb. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head, and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger.”

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FA3EFACF-D225-4ED7-9C23-BA5934CFB845.jpeg

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#11

 

An engineer died and was sent to Hell.

He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels. One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil:

What's up?

The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer."

"What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately.

"The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him."

God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"

The Devil laughs. "Where are YOU going to get a lawyer

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