Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

Friday Humor - jump in and add some


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 688
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."  The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"  "Yes, Father, it is."  "And who was the girl you were with?"  "I ca

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store.  As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice, cold beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”  

Posted Images

 

The teacher decided that in science class, she would teach her students about different materials.
Standing at the front of the class, she asked, "Children, if you were able to have one raw material in the world, what would it be?"
Raising his hand, little Timmy said, "I would choose gold. It's worth lots of money and I could by a Porsche."
Next, little Lois raised her hand and said, "I would want platinum because it's worth more than gold and I could by a Corvette."
"Very good, both of you," said the teacher. "Johnny, what would you want?"
Little Johnny stood up and said, "Oh, I would want silicon."
"Why would you want silicon, Johnny?" asked the teacher.
"Heck, my mom has two bags of it and you wouldn't believe all the sports cars outside our house!" he replied.

  • Haha 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/27/2020 at 6:33 AM, Sedalia Dave said:

 

Image may contain: 1 person, text that says 'If olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made of? OMG!'

 

 

True story... when I was about 4 and first saw a catalog selling kidskin gloves I looked at my mom in horror. She still laughs about it to this day.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:
Moped man to Save the Day. .
 
No words needed

@Pat Riot, SASS #13748 if I promise to quit picking on you, will you promise not to post selfies like this again?

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

Image may contain: one or more people, people standing and outdoor, text that says 'Just for consideration, Mad Max was set in 2021... is it socially acceptable to dress like this straight away, or do we give it a few weeks?'

 

 

If your inner self is just screaming to come out, go for it!

 

  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a cliff, about to jump off.
An old homeless bloke who was wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"
 
She screamed, "NO! Bug off you filthy old coot!"
He shrugged and turned away saying, 
"Okay then, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."
She didn't jump.
 
See, Counseling can work!!!
 
 
Edited by Abilene Slim SASS 81783
  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.


He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You look just like Frank.


Passenger: "Who?"


Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."


Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."


Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a

Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy."


Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."


Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me -I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."


Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."


Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."


Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"


Cabbie: "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I married his friggin' wife..."

  • Like 1
  • Haha 9
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

39 Best Funny Australian Jokes | Great Short Aussie Jokes - Yellow Octopus

 

 

  .............................. note; .... kookaburra's laugh at jokes, ... they are not known for telling them.

 

 

  .....................................................  actually they laugh at most everything, ............. especially sunrises and sunsets.

 

 

:ph34r:

  • Haha 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

39 Best Funny Australian Jokes | Great Short Aussie Jokes - Yellow Octopus

Funnier joke if told by  a Golden Retriever. Golden retrievers know how to tell stick jokes!

  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

Funnier joke if told by  a Golden Retriever. Golden retrievers know how to tell stick jokes!


I believe you are correct...in a sense ;)

 

418F6CAF-BB2A-4B0A-9FFC-72628CAF0672.jpeg.35bb4c2e4f6848fae45840a9c7656e1a.jpeg

  • Like 1
  • Haha 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.