Brother, I feel your pain. My father was a homosexual that only married a woman and fathered a son to have the picture perfect image needed to promote his career during the 1950's and 1960's. The physical and mental abuse my mother and I endured was unthinkable. My mother passed at sixty years of age, me being thirty. Six months later on Christmas day, he threw me, my wife and mother-in-law out of his house. I still do not know where my mother is interned. He is gone now, spending his last year in a care facility. I came close many times ending his existance on this earth. The term hatred does not even come close to describing my feelings towards him.
What you are feeling inside is normal and healthy. What you have been going through has been sheer hell. Forgiveness is something that comes from within and only you can determine the want and ability to do so.
Talk to the big guy upstairs for guidance and support. I did. Made a big difference in my life. I hope that eventually you find some closure.
Wishing you all the best,