Dusty Walker Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "This is gonna be ugly!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clueless Bob Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Line was your not Wyatt Warp and this isn't Dodge City. My wife being English, changed it abit. She said your not Duke of Wellington and this isn't Waterloo. It took the timer a second before he got it!!! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snakebite Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "Lucy, I'm home" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waimea Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 If my brain is functioning (a tricky proposition on a good day), I always try to play with the line. I'll slip in a club member's alias, say the line with an accent or a lisp, just anything I can think of to get a laugh (I shoot to enjoy it - my times are usually in the 60-80 second range!). Two years ago at the state championship (we have hosted it for the past fourteen years) one of the lines was, "Excuse me while I whip this out!". I had about ten or twelve bandanas tied together and tucked under my pants. After saying the line I started "whipping it out"!!!  Now that there is funny!  Usually when I try to be funny, I end up screwing up the shot sequence and earn myself a P. So I stopped tryin' to be funny. Most times it didn't work anyhow.   Waimea  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M.T. Stetson, SASS #67410 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "I'll take 'Shooter's Ready' for $1,000, Alex." Â Â M.T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonk Thimblerig Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Hey Chance...I brought us some dyni-mite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated Lady Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "I'd like to buy a P" Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â gotta give TBone credit for this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major BS Walker Regulator Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "Don't touch that gun" and my all time favorite "I deal in lead" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
german rosebud 73856 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 There were only two jobs a woman could do in the west, that was wife'n or whoring, so I decided to be a man. Angelica Huston from Buffalo Gals Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffler Razz Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Rope my legs and call me doggie! Â Sell my clothes I'm goin ta heaven! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated Lady Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Well, butter my behind and call me a biscuit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titus A. Gnatsass, SASS #71705 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Well, butter my behind and call me a biscuit  Be careful what ya ask for, the line just might form to take ya up on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goody, SASS #26190 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Well, butter my behind and call me a biscuit  PARKAY!  Well, raise my rent! You are the kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Bandit Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "Fill your hand you sonofabitch." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 We had a stage in which the shooter had to wear a bonnet and the starting line was "Do you think I'm pretty". I didn't think we would ever get through the stage. Every cowboy had to ham this to the point of hilarity. One of the all time favorites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mean Matt McCord, SASS #24683 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 GREAT HORNEYTOADS! I gotta burn my boots, they touched Yankee soil! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen judice Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 All of these are great, thanks to every one for having a little fun with this post. Here is another of my favorites from Tall Tale, "Well paint my toe nails and curl my hair". You have to say like my grand daughter says it, Hair is a 2 syliable word Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dash Caliber Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 People, People.... you have got to stop reloading long enough to watch a good western or two. I probably got 10 different ones from the remake of TRUE GRIT. I especially love matches were the line is from YOUR favorite western, On the fly. but the alltime favorite is Steve Mcqueen in the magnificent seven.."We deal in lead, friend" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACKFOOT SASS #11947 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I'm not ready but let's do it anyway. Â Blackfoot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mack Hacker, #60477 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 There are several great ones from Crossfire Trail  "Well, maybe I ought to just show you."  "I never had to fight my way into a saloon before."  "Just when things were going so good for you."  "Luke, is my Colt lashed down?"  "Never could get the hang of turning the other cheek."  "I been run off this place once before, never again."  "I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life for what you did to Charles Rodney."  "I'm gonna blow you out of those fancy boots."  "Slow down, you'll get a more harmonious outcome." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Winchester Jack, SASS #70195 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 when I write stages there is always an opening line. Last month they were: "Whats a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic place like this", "I have two guns, one for each of you" "Awful lot of law for a little cow town" "Amigo, weve been had" "I rarely bluff and I never ever cheat" "Laddie, I never go anywhere peacably" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 We had a stage in which the shooter had to wear a bonnet and the starting line was "Do you think I'm pretty". I didn't think we would ever get through the stage. Every cowboy had to ham this to the point of hilarity. One of the all time favorites. Â That one made me think of the line from Firefly "If your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you" Â http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndcxFH0AHfA Â It's at about the 1:10 mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickahominy Charlie Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 We always have opening lines.....thanks to our stage-writer, Possum Skinner. Â They run from the "stuff on right now": "Chute 'em 'Lizabeth" Â To the funny westerns: "More beans Mr. Taggert" Â To the simple: "Draw!" Â To the recent westerns: "Well, he shoulda armed himself if he was gonna decorate his saloon with my friend." Â To the older westerns: "Use enough dynamite there Butch?" Â To the old TV westerns: "Chuck Connors ain't got nuthin' on me." Â Â I personally like the opening lines. It adds flavor, IMHO. Â Chick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lone Dog, SASS #20401 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 The Blazing Saddles quotes are awesome! We don't usually do opening lines but, I think I might have to sneak some in at our next shoot! Â Huh? Say what? No opening lines? How do you start stages? Head nods? Â I like "say when". Â And "awright, let's do it lunger". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krazy Kajun Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Why this fried chicken is so good it'll make yore skin tight, teeth white and child-birthing a pleasure!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buck D. Law, SASS #62183 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Jubal Early from down round Louisana way, if not given a starting line will say, "Let'r buck" to start the clock. I liked it so much I stole it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fillmore Coffins, SASS #7884 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "5 bucks, just like downtown." Â Fillmore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 ROBERT E. LEE FOR PRESIDENT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Stoner , SASS # 28994 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 " Who's the fella that owns this shithole? " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baddog Nobiscuit #46532 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 From Blazing Saddles and still my favorite. Cleavon Little rides up to some friends that he hasn't seen for awhile...."We heard you was hung!"...."You heard right!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Scatterbrain Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 "Laddie, I never go anywhere peacably" From? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace_of_Hearts Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 What a face. What a figure Two more legs and You would look like trigger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockridge,SASS #8763 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 What In the Wild Wild World of Sports isah Goin On Here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Mountain Buzzard Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 <-----Buzzard's Gotta eat, same as worms... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 A good cowgirl keeps her calves together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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