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4 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Where’s Betty White?

Who do you think was on stage as the entertainment ??!?

:):):)

Regards

:FlagAm:  :FlagAm:  :FlagAm:

Gateway Kid

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Snip-it_1635509909172.jpg.03cd185a7af89aa338cb0b3c330c6b08.jpg

Edited by Father Kit Cool Gun Garth
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These two guys was out playing golf one day, and while out on the back nine one of them was caught short. He told his buddy he needed to go up in the woods and drop a load. After he had done this he realized he had no paper. The only tree were pine trees, and pine needles wouldn't work. He yelled out to his friend for advice, and his friend yelled back that he should use a dollar.

 

Everything was quiet for a couple of minutes, and then the man up in the trees yelled down, "Got change for a 20?"

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You might think this is the same story, but it's not.

 

These two guys was out playing golf one day, and while out on the back nine one of them was caught short. He told his buddy he needed to go up in the woods and drop a load. After he had done this he realized he had no paper. The only tree were pine trees, and pine needles wouldn't work. He yelled out to his friend for advice, and his friend yelled back that he should use a dollar.

 

When the man came down from out of the trees his friends saw that he had poop completely covering three fingers of his hand. He said, "I thought I told you to use a dollar".

 

The other guy replied, "I did. Three quarters, two dimes and a nickel."

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this joke is old enough to be maybe #11.

 

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General. As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anything i can do to help" The Iranian whispered, "my son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is American, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is japanese, but there are no Muslims. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on Star Trek. The General laughed, leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future...."
 

in the interest of disclosure I feel that I should mention that Arab Muslims are Caucasian.

 

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Snip-it_1635730428142.jpg

Edited by Father Kit Cool Gun Garth
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1 hour ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

Snip-it_1635730428142.jpg

 

Listerine is one of the most well-known brands of mouthwash, and also has one of the highest percentages of alcohol. The alcohol content of ordinary Listerine is 26.9 percent. 

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After an appointment several days ago, I couldn't find my keys. I quickly gave myself a quick "pat down." No: they weren't in my pocket. Suddenly I realised I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for my usual multi-storey car park. My wife had scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition, as she's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the multi-storey, I realised she was right. It wasn’t there! The parking bay was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location and the registration, and confessed that I must have left my keys in the car and that it had now been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my wife: "I left my keys in the car again and it's been stolen."

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard her voice. "Are you kidding?" she snapped, "I dropped you off!" Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I pleaded, "Well, can you please come and pick me up?" She retorted, "I will, as soon as I can convince this bloody policeman that I haven't stolen your car!"

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t’s 1933 and President Roosevelt is taking the US off the gold standard. All American citizens are directed to turn in their gold coins and certificates at any band and exchange them for paper money. After 90 days it will be illegal for private citizens to possess gold coins.

Mae West has a large number of gold coins but she has no intention of parting with them. She decides the safest place to put them would be a safety deposit box, so she gathers them up and goes to the bank.

The clerk is impressed by how many she has and says to her, “Miss West, it looks like you’ve been hoarding.”

Mae replies, “never mind how I got them, just give me the receipt.”

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I was just remembering something in my early 20s.

 

Recalling the primary -- actually the one and only -- reason I did not become a baseball star player.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a total lack of talent.

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