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1 hour ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:


It's worse than that: most Walmarts, or just about any store, don't HAVE express lanes. They have "Self Check Out" which I refuse to use. I've been to Walmart grocery stores that ONLY have "Self Check Out".  I won't be back.

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Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people pass by, but they put money only into the hat of the guy behind the cross.

A priest who’d been watching the pair walked up to the beggar with the Star of David and said, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a catholic country. People won’t give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside another beggar who has a cross. In fact, they’d probably give him more money just out of spite.”

The beggar thanked the priest and then turned to beggar with the cross and said, “Moshe—look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!”

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An insurance agent approaches a cowboy, trying to sell him an accident policy.

The agent inquires, "Have you ever had an accident?"

"Never," the cowboy responds. "However, just recently a horse kicked in two of my ribs, and back a couple years ago a rattlesnake bit my ankle."

"Wouldn't you call these accidents?" says the puzzled agent.

"Nah," the cowboy replies. "They both did it on purpose!"



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I know you have been lying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs", "Huggies", and "Pampers', while undergarments for old people are called "Depends".

Well here is the low down on the whole thing.

When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper' em. When old people crap in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will!

Glad I got that straightened out so you can rest your mind.

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