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Korupt Karl Roast


Montana Longhair 27261

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O korupt, one let me count the adventures had, and yet ta come!!!

 

You have been there in need and when ya weren't!

Yer a lovi'n pard, and a pain in the rear!

Yer memory is fain't as well as yer shooti'n!

Yer fun ta hang hats with, yet I don't turn my back!

Taught me life lessons and how not ta make sis blush!

Yer a pard fur the aged, yet play like a pup!!!!!!

It's all CC Top and co. Ta keep ya in line!

Sis says hello and will meet ya fur lunch!

Git yer butt back home, cause all involved is bored as @$#&%+!!!!!!

Miss ya pard, don't let this go ta yer head!

Ya cheat at cards, but make a great rum in diet coke!!!!

Glad yer catchi'n 100lb fish, worki'n on the tan, and abusi'n the natives!!!

Their ready ta send ya home! So pack yer bags and send smoke signals, and we'll fetch ya right away!!!

Yer pard fur life,

 

Li'l o'l furbuss!!!!

 

This ought ta be grand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Now there's a carcass only a moth..... Nah she kicked him out when he got growed!

 

He tried to blame his mama fer the way he dresses!! She wasn't havin' none of it!!

 

He kinda' like an old bulldog. He's so ugly he's ....... NO HE AIN'T!!

 

He's a lousy shot with a dinner roll, but he does make a great target!!

 

He can almost sing and he can keep time!!

 

Women think he's.................................... nope ain't sayin' it!!

 

He's my pard and I'm (almost) proud to claim him!!

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I would put a log on the fire but all my wood got wet.I have only meet KK one time and as bad as I hate to say it on a roast,I can't say any thing bad about the young man.Proud to say he is my pard I hope.

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I just got a call from the Korupt one. He wanted direction to the hotel we are staying in.

 

With the directions I gave him he should be in Atlanta by midnight.

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Never had the pleasure of meetin' the man, but I hope to someday.....anyone who wears stuff that make's Cheyenne's outfits seem almost....normal.....has to be interesting...... :blink::blink::wacko::D

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As far as KK's age ... I felt sure KK was a lot older than Pit Bull

and me, and one of bad things about KK is that he just has way

Toooooooo much fun playing this game/sport. lol

...crosscut

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Oh now this is gonna be good! By the end of the very first shoot I ever shot with Karl.....I hated him! Ya see, I got a MDQ after firing just 10 rounds for the match. Every stage after, Karl would come up to me and say something like, Need relief, Oh wait, you messed up and don't get relieved!" Or he would ask if I needed relief, then just walk away laughing. Oh yea, I hated him. I am just glad that over time I could learn to overlook his personality. Now......I still hate him! Do ya'll know this sick son of a no good eats spam cold, right out of the can? As for Karl as a shooter, he really stinks at it! When he is getting ready to shoot a stage, we break out the sun dial to time him with. I will say he rarely get's a "P!" I think it is because the spotters and RO are so distracted and blinded by the shirts he wears! They are the most obnoxious shirts he can pay Miss Bonnie to make. I will say this, Karl can fix a pretty good breakfast! That is the only reason I let the creature travel with me in the Bunkhouse! Karl did serve well as a member of the Circus Crew by shucking corn and running a grill at Guns of August last year. However, he ignored the memo to wear sponge bob boxer shorts for the event. He says he could not find any, but I think he secretly really wanted to wear his underoo's! They were spider man. I am getting cramps in my fingers from typing, so I am gonna stop for now. You all carry on and I will be back at a later day!

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Calico Mary, ifn you ain't met Karl, then maybe you need to read Rodney Dangerfields biography. Then you'll know Karl.

 

Actually, Karl's friends love and adore him......both of them.

 

He's the only JEDI that measures The Force based on how many bake beans and hard boiled eggs he has eaten! Pyew.

 

The Geisha twins love him. But they love his credit cards even more...... :o

 

And, Shy Annie is really jealous of KK's shirts.

 

 

Widder

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Karl got lost once as a kid. Found a cop who told him,

"I don't know son, there's so many places they could hide"

His moma cut the bottoms out of his pockets so he would have something to play with

He smokes the best cigars and drinks the best whisky, as long as someone brings it

Shoots pistols with cross sticks

:P

 

CR

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"He smokes the best cigars and drinks the best whisky, as long as someone brings it"

 

 

That's funny..... :lol:

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That's funny..... :lol:

 

 

It's also TRUE!!! ;)

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Karl is many things, some good, and as we see here, many bad.


He can always rest assured that he has one very redeeming value.


He can always serve as a bad example.


Love ya man!

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Jest don't sit down and start drinkin' with him.

(Or Cowboy Rick either)

At last year's Indiana Black Powder Annual shoot, Karl & Rick started talkin' to me & pouring me whiskeys

And before I knew it I could barely walk!

Hadn't been that wasted since my college days!

Them boys dry-gulched me!

Talkin' so smooth while they was pouring whiskey down me!

Me, a trusting innocent soul, taken in by the Korrupt One.

--Weavin' Dawg

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My Bunkhouse Boss often answers the phone and sometimes, its KK callin (all his Pards in Indiana have caller I.D. and won't answer their phones).

 

The BBoss used to say; "He's the nicest man". And then she met him one day and .................. :o

 

Soon after, She got caller I.D. and now checks the incoming calls before she answers the phone..... :ph34r:

 

On a side note (and true story), when I first experimented with my Marlin work, KK financed 2 Marlin 1894's in order for me to have a couple more rifles to experiments with. One turned into a Widdermajik (shooting both the C45S and .45 Colt interchangably) and the other one was set up for .45 Colt only.

He did this with no guarantee of success and at the time, it was a gamble that both rifles could end up as tomato stakes, with NO liability of my own. That pretty much says alot about what the man is about.

 

 

..........Widder

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Now Widder, why did ya have ta go and say somethin nice about the old turd hammer! We all know he is just one uncommon bucket of manure! Ain't nothin commin bout his ancient carcass! Dawg, I went toe to toe with KK at the Michigan State Shoot a few years ago. The game: Whiskey at 20 paces. I was impressed, the man can hold his liquor! The final score was 2 drunks in a draw! I understand that Karl was the original poster boy for Dapper Dan! I have Karl show up on caller ID too. I always answer because it makes me grateful and thankful! It could be worse.

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Not rightly sure how old Karl may be but one thing is certain -He can get old pretty fast!!!!! :P

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Let me tell you about the first time I met Karl. It was at the Florida state championship many years ago. I was talking to some friends went in the distance I heard somebody yell " Hey you son of a B*%&@$ I thought you would be taller" I turned around to see this guy in a funny looking shirt walking towards me with CC Top. He walked over and said I'm Korrupt Karl I thought you would be taller. To which I responded "So"

 

Now to last night I found a new career that pays great.

 

Posting bail for Karl. At one point less than regular Bail Bonds charge.

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I know I've shared this before but thought it would be important to share again.

 

When KK travels thru E.TN on his trips between IN and FL, local LEO encourage women and small children to stay indoors and for Pet owners to keep their small animals inside for the duration of his passing thru.

 

I just found out this week that the local zoo also adds on extra security to guard the monkey cages during that same time frame.

 

 

..........Widder

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I know what your sayin Widder! When Karl is in the bunkhouse at a shoot, I have to either leave Calamity at home or take special precautions! I found this out the hard way when I walked in on Karl and my beloved labrador just in a nick of time!

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He's the lead monkey in the barrel!

He has a way a turni'n the barrel over and letti'n all the rest a us loose!

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He's got a bumper sticker on his van that reads:

 

'Have you hugged your sheep today'?

 

 

..........Widder

 

 

Along these lines, His wife says he has an inflatable love ewe! Kaa Kaa Kaa kaaaaawwwwllllll!

 

Karl, you better get on here and at least try to defile....er....I mean defend your honor!

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I know what your sayin Widder! When Karl is in the bunkhouse at a shoot, I have to either leave Calamity at home or take special precautions! I found this out the hard way when I walked in on Karl and my beloved labrador just in a nick of time!

 

Ya gotta watch him real good.................else you'll have some alcoholic, obnoxious, pee in the corner sick puppy with ugly doggie sweaters.

 

CS

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I didn't really know Karl till about two years ago (and then my luck ran out) and he struck me (and then I got up and kicked him in the 'nads) as some kind of twisted philosopher. As the bourbon was pouring he expounded "marriage is a workshop where the men work and the women shop". I said that was a bit unkind but he responded that it was the alcohol. I asked why he though that. He said that, "if you drink enough you become more like a woman". I was puzzled and inquired why he thought that was true. He responded that "if you drink enough, you can neither drive or shut the hell up". I was aghast, well at least I had gas.

 

At any rate, the next morning I was leaving the hotel on my way to the match and saw where Bob Evens Restaurant had a reward out for anyone who could lead them to the man that had been stealing their table cloths. After seeing Karl's shirt that day I knew I had a solid lead for them. Come to find out, that his shirt was actually made out of a seat cover from a 1978 VW Bug. Now German engineer's may be very good at mechanical fitments, but as far as it relates from Karl is "Farfrompukin'".

 

We here in Florida are very proud to have Karl (leave) and hope that everyone else has the same feeling.

 

To the most interesting man in the world (in his own mind), stay thirsty my friend.

 

Dang It

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Karl is a narcissist, but at least he's not in denial. As he once rationalized, "If you were me, wouldn't you be?"

 

In a candid moment (drunk, of course) he once confided "I used to think I was perfect but then I realized I have a flaw; excessive modesty is a flaw, isn't it?"

 

Karl sings a lot, at least that's what he calls it. If you've never heard him, try to imagine the sound of a cat in heat being waterboarded.

 

I have some pictures of Karl lounging around our camp in shorts and bright yellow Crocs. If Mean Gun can help, I'll try to get those posted.

 

He's often seen smoking a big cigar and, when he does, he reminds me of one of my favorite western heros; Rin-tin-tin taking a dump.

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hmm, wut kin I say, I try tu be a gud influence on him, hmm, dunt think it's werking, Imma tha one bein influenced!!

 

I'm his designated driver, because he can't see what key is which...

 

He lurned tha hard way not to listen to me when I told him to ground his rifle, yu thot he was ugly before? hah!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

this weekend I saw him kiss three MEN! do I need say more?

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He's not very successful at Poker either. His basic philosophy is 'Deuces Beat Trash'..... :ph34r:

 

Did I tell you about the time he sold his Corvette to buy him a real sports car? He ended up with a Cooper ..... :o

 

 

..........Widder

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