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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

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At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside

And asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

"Yes, coach", replied the little boy. "

Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue,

curse the umpire, or call him an 4554073. Do you understand all that?"

Again, the little boy nodded in the affirmative.

The coach continued, "And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play,

it's not a dumb-455 decision or that the coach is a 5417head is it?"

"No, coach."

"Good", said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”

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A bored Cajun’s fifteen days of forced isolation.

Day 1 – I can do this! Got enough food & wine to last a month.
Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of wine. I fear wine supplies might not last.
Day 3 – Strawberries: some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Why?
Day 4 – 8:00 pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.
Day 5 – Today I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots.
Day 6 – I get to take the garbage out. I’m so excited, I can’t decide what to wear.
Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own Cajun jokes.
Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen”. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal.

Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all dressed up and going Bar Hopping.
Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He is a Web Designer.
Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said “What the hell do you want now?”
Day 12 – I realize why dogs get so excited about something moving outside. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 13 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.
Day 14 – Guess what Cher; getting a lot of junk mail is now a lot of fun.
Day 15 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face

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3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Day 13 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.

At my bird feeder, one of those round chicken feeders that fit a Mason jar, and hangs from a tree, the Blue Jays chase off the Cardinals. 

The Cardinals will chase the little birds, but they come back to the other side of the feeder while the Cardinal is still there.

Dove chase them all away except the woodpeckers.

They all know that the Woodpeckers are crazy, and let them eat alone.

The squirrels eat corn on the ground. I fixed the bird feeder so that the squirrels fall off of it. It was funny watching them learn.  


Day 274 - Replied to online ML Forum describing my bird feeder.  

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22 minutes ago, Brazos John said:

They all know that the Woodpeckers are crazy, and let them eat alone.

The squirrels eat corn on the ground


I like watching the "negotiations" between Acorn Woodpeckers and Scrub Jays over territory and feeding rights.


Also fun are the antics of the squirrels climbing the poles and figuring out how to get on the seed cylinders.   Then trying to ignore the strafing from both Woodpeckers and Scrub Jays.










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Well suddenly while fishing Boudreaux died. Marie send his obituary into the newspaper. It said Boudreaux died yesterday while fishing. Well the newspaper people called her and said you can put a little more in the paper. You have 10 lines. So the next day the obituary appeared in the paper: "Boudreaux died while fishing yesterday. Boat For Sale."

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31 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:



It's almost as good as the weather channel reporter during hurricane Florence. Can barely stand up against the gale-force winds. And then the two guys casually walk behind him in the background.



Something I liked was the plants in that sign directly behind him are blowing to the left so the wind would be coming from the right, but his clothing is blowing to the right and he's leaning desperately to the left, so the wind must be coming from the left.


You suppose they got one of them big wind fans?

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1 hour ago, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said:




With a couple slices of t’mater and some cheese, that’d be the start of a right fine sangwidge!!


Don’t fergit the mayo!!

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