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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

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from the BabylonBee

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The nation is in shock today following reports of representatives in Congress showing up to work for the 4th day in a row. Sources in Washington say this may be a new record, as most members of the House are used to showing up maybe once or twice per month while spending most of their time drinking cocktails with lobbyists and talking to CNN. Medical personnel has been dispatched to the Capitol Building to tend to any elderly reps in attendance, who aren't used to working this hard, while experts warn many of them may not last through today's grueling 5-hour workday.

The House is expected to adjourn early today for the sake of any at-risk senior citizens.

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6 hours ago, LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L said:


We had a vet that always brought her dog along.  When she came out to geld a couple horses for us her overfed yellow lab got a couple of the no longer needed parts tossed to her when they were removed.  She caught them and swallowed them in a heartbeat.  It obviously wasn't the first time the dog was fed such treats.   The pup didn't get the other two as they were pretty large and the vet was afraid the dog would choke on them.


It was... "interesting".  I wasn't expecting to see that.



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Pierre and Jacques were bringing a load of logs from Quebec to a mill in Pittsburg. Pierre was driving, it was night and one of PA’s finest pulled him over to have a little talk.

cop: I want to ask you. If you are coming down one of our enormous hills and your breaks don’t hold, what do you do?

Pierre:  I wake my brudder, he never saw a crash like dat before.

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A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every ten seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says, “Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while…”

Billy says, “I'm fine, Mommy…i just haven't gone

'doody' yet."

Mother says, “ Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

Billy says, “ Works for ketchup."

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