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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

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15 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

You don’t have this?






I had a ~12 oz. version of that that I used at reenactments.  One evening, Friday set up, I got there early, got my tent set, got the fire area cleared, pit dug, and fire going for my evening meal.  A young man showed up - he had worked a graveyard shift and driven from Bakersfield to Camp Meeker (near Jenner) in northern CA.  He was dog tired, smelled my coffee, asked if he could have a cup.  So I brewed one for him, even scrapped some sugar from the piloncillo for him.  I don't think he had every had a cup of COFFEE, just Starbucks stuff.  His eyes flew wide open..."That's STRONG!"  I took the cup, sipped, "No, that's just coffee, about normal strength."

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@DocWard is right, fresh ground coffee is well worth the effort!

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• An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars. 

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern. 

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

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Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery,

vomits and falls down on the floor...

Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.

Next day wen he gets up he expects her to be really angry wid him....

He prays that they shouldd not have a


He finds a note near the table...

"Honey..your favourite breakfast is ready on the table,

i had to leave early to buy grocery...

i'll come running back to you, my love.

I love you. ...

He gets surprised and asks his son..,

'what happened last night..?

Son told...,"

when mom pulled you to bed and tried

removing your boots and shirt..

you were dead drunk and you said......

"Hey Lady ! Leave Me Alone...

I’m Married !!!”..........

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