Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Ya know, after reading multiple threads and comments about relationships, etc..... I thought I would just start a "Dear Widder" thread and help all you good Pards out with free advice. So, go ahead and post your problems on here and I'll give you sound, time tested, advice that could enhance your relationships. Guaranteed you will either grow closer to your love one or closer to your dog... ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dear Widder-What if your 'loved one', IS your Dog? OLG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dear Widder, I'd ask fer help wit a relationship....cept I ain't in one and no one is interested.....do you know of any places where desperate blind guys hang out? or should I just settle for a cat? signed, Lonely in Ohio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 12 minutes ago, The Original Lumpy Gritz said: Dear Widder-What if your 'loved one', IS your Dog? OLG Dear Dog Lover: You got it made. Whether you wear a wig or if your butt is too big, your dog will never growl and show any indifference. Just be sure to change the flea collar when needed. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 6 minutes ago, Calico Mary said: Dear Widder, I'd ask fer help wit a relationship....cept I ain't in one and no one is interested.....do you know of any places where desperate blind guys hang out? or should I just settle for a cat? signed, Lonely in Ohio Dear Lonely in Ohio: Don't feel to despaired. A LOT of people who live in Ohio would be much better off all by themselves. Matter of fact, the more members of the family in Ohio, the worst the situation. Just look at the Ohio St. football team..... ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 8 minutes ago, Widowmaker Hill SASS #59054 said: Dear Dog Lover: Just be sure to change the flea collar when needed. ..........Widder I don't wear one. OLG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dear Widder, I told my wife she was wrong... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I'd look at tha Ohio St. football team, but I NOZ they ain't gonna look back...besides, that big of age difference is disgusting.... and Tyrel, not even Widder can help you now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Saywut Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dear Widder, What is the meaning of life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warden Callaway Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I can contribute some free advice also. Don't eat the yellow snow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorado Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dear Widder, What brand of plastic wrap is best for covering the toilet bowl? Any good recipes for itching powder? Anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil dogooder Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Calico Mary said: Dear Widder, I'd ask fer help wit a relationship....cept I ain't in one and no one is interested.....do you know of any places where desperate blind guys hang out? or should I just settle for a cat? signed, Lonely in Ohio How about a desperate blind cat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dear Widder, It turns out my wife, my girlfriend and my secretary are best friends and play bridge and bingo together and belong to the same women's club in town. Am I in trouble? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said: Dear Widder, It turns out my wife, my girlfriend and my secretary are best friends and play bridge and bingo together and belong to the same women's club in town. Am I in trouble? Only, if you're a member - OLG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dear Widder, Why do guys lie and say things like "you're a special person, anyone would be lucky to have you" and "you have a really good heart, that's the important thing" when all they ever really mean is "you ugly dog, no one in their right mind would touch you with a ten foot pole, you're just good for a few laughs"?? Why can't guys just tell the truth? That all that matters is either how pretty a woman is or how young or both? Are women really that scary or are men just morons that can't figure out women know they are lying? Signed, Confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 3 hours ago, Widowmaker Hill SASS #59054 said: Dear Dog Lover: You got it made. Whether you wear a wig or if your butt is too big, your dog will never growl and show any indifference. Just be sure to change the flea collar when needed. ..........Widder Oops, Lumpy beat me to the punchline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dear Widder, My wife prefers the company of her cats over me. Should I buy a new gun to raise my self-esteem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 10 minutes ago, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said: Dear Widder, My wife prefers the company of her cats over me. Should I buy a new gun to raise my self-esteem? Yes--And explain NOOO I'm not selling the old one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Dan Troop 70448 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Just now, Calico Mary said: Dear Widder, Why do guys lie and say things like "you're a special person, anyone would be lucky to have you" and "you have a really good heart, that's the important thing" when all they ever really mean is "you ugly dog, no one in their right mind would touch you with a ten foot pole, you're just good for a few laughs"?? Why can't guys just tell the truth? That all that matters is either how pretty a woman is or how young or both? Are women really that scary or are men just morons that can't figure out women know they are lying? Signed, Confused Just to jump in here. I knew a gal that said that also, it was recommended she get a shorter pole. MT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 3 hours ago, Widowmaker Hill SASS #59054 said: Dear Dog Lover: You got it made. Whether you wear a wig or if your butt is too big, your dog will never growl and show any indifference. Just be sure to change the flea collar when needed. ..........Widder There's a country song in there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G W Wade Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 MEN SHOULD NEVER GIVE ADVICE> a woman wrote for advise. I left for work this morning and got 2 miles down the road before my car sputtered and died. NO cell phone service so walked home. By the time I got there the neighbors car was in the driveway. Peering in the window, saw the neighbors wife and my husband doing it on my coach. What should I do? Well , the first thing wpuld tp check see if the choke is stuck on! Then etc etc GW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramblin Gambler Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 4 hours ago, Calico Mary said: Dear Widder, I'd ask fer help wit a relationship....cept I ain't in one and no one is interested.....do you know of any places where desperate blind guys hang out? or should I just settle for a cat? signed, Lonely in Ohio when I was dating I always said I needed a woman with bad eyesight and low self esteem. My wife thought it was funny when we were dating. Not so much now. As for the other question, maybe you just hang around with guys who are too nice. Find some jerks and you'll get your fill of brutal honesty. Perhaps those ohio state football players (since they've already been brought up). I don't think they'll really care that you're so much younger than them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 4 hours ago, Tyrel Cody said: Dear Widder, I told my wife she was wrong... Tyrel, You should have clarified your statement after you realized your statement had been misinterpreted: "Honey, you are WONG" ...... Chinese word for beautiful and wise. Ya gotta be ready for these things my friend. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 4 hours ago, Sgt. Saywut said: Dear Widder, What is the meaning of life? Love, happiness, sharing and giving. Love those around you. Try to put a little sunshine into someones life everyday and share a smile. Give of yourself. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 3 hours ago, Dorado said: Dear Widder, What brand of plastic wrap is best for covering the toilet bowl? Any good recipes for itching powder? Anonymous Dear Anonymous: "Surround" wrap. For the inch: wash with Octagon soap and then apply some baking powder. A couple months from now, you'll never know you had a problem.... ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 3 hours ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said: Dear Widder, It turns out my wife, my girlfriend and my secretary are best friends and play bridge and bingo together and belong to the same women's club in town. Am I in trouble? Dear Troubled in Arizona: Only if one of the three is a heavy bet'r. But I must warn you that if you are gonna try to keep all three happy, you might have to move to Utah. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dear Widder, I feel like this is a old recollection, could this be true? Dear Abby, John Prine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Saywut Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 15 minutes ago, Widowmaker Hill SASS #59054 said: Love, happiness, sharing and giving. Love those around you. Try to put a little sunshine into someones life everyday and share a smile. Give of yourself. ..........Widder I figured you’d say: ”The answer is 42.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Calico Mary said: Dear Widder, Why do guys lie and say things like "you're a special person, anyone would be lucky to have you" and "you have a really good heart, that's the important thing" when all they ever really mean is "you ugly dog, no one in their right mind would touch you with a ten foot pole, you're just good for a few laughs"?? Why can't guys just tell the truth? That all that matters is either how pretty a woman is or how young or both? Are women really that scary or are men just morons that can't figure out women know they are lying? Signed, Confused Dear Confused: Some Guys lie because its equivalent to a woman's lie's about her loving a rich man because he's a great man, not because he has lots of money. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said: Dear Widder, My wife prefers the company of her cats over me. Should I buy a new gun to raise my self-esteem? You're a wise man Abilene Slim. A gun in the hand is better than 2 cats in the bush, any day. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Calico Mary said: Dear Widder, Why do guys lie and say things like "you're a special person, anyone would be lucky to have you" and "you have a really good heart, that's the important thing" when all they ever really mean is "you ugly dog, no one in their right mind would touch you with a ten foot pole, you're just good for a few laughs"?? Why can't guys just tell the truth? That all that matters is either how pretty a woman is or how young or both? Are women really that scary or are men just morons that can't figure out women know they are lying? Signed, Confused Ain't Widder but......Old Chinese Proverb............. Man who tell truth all day, dead by sundown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted November 8, 2017 Author Share Posted November 8, 2017 10 minutes ago, Sgt. Saywut said: I figured you’d say: ”The answer is 42.” I would have but with my speech impediment, I have trouble pronouncing my 'W''s and 'R's. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 3 hours ago, Calico Mary said: Dear Widder, Why do guys lie and say things like "you're a special person, anyone would be lucky to have you" and "you have a really good heart, that's the important thing" when all they ever really mean is "you ugly dog, no one in their right mind would touch you with a ten foot pole, you're just good for a few laughs"?? Why can't guys just tell the truth? That all that matters is either how pretty a woman is or how young or both? Are women really that scary or are men just morons that can't figure out women know they are lying? Signed, Confused Yes, yes we are. Tracey says I'm a moron all the time. Might believe her someday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 1 hour ago, Widowmaker Hill SASS #59054 said: Tyrel, You should have clarified your statement after you realized your statement had been misinterpreted: "Honey, you are WONG" ...... Chinese word for beautiful and wise. Ya gotta be ready for these things my friend. ..........Widder Unfortunately my wife has a very strong BS meter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 14 minutes ago, Michigan Slim said: Yes, yes we are. Tracey says I'm a moron all the time. Might believe her someday I believe Tracey..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.