Charlie Plasters, SASS#60943 Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 Two, from tv shows that cracked me up: Hill Street Blues - the Captain and his girlfriend upon being confronted by a mugger with his hand in his pants pocket simulating a gun, the girlfriend responds "is that a banana or are you just happy to see me?" From the Paul Reiser Helen Hunt sitcom (Iforget the name of it)- Paul is being forced to go to some girly event that he is unhappy about and as they are leaving the apartment he glances at the dog who is licking what dogs often lick and Paul comments " if I could do that I wouldn't have to go to this "
Bugs Bonney SASS # 10171 Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 "I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down... I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists." Hedley Lamarr - Blazing Saddles "Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives. Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore. "Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening thru a cosmic vapor of invention. "Jim: You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
EL NEGRO GATO Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 JOHN WAYNE'S CREED "I WON'T BE INSULTED,I WON'T HAVE A HAND LAID ON, I WON'T BE LIED TOO, I DON'T DO THESE TO OTHERS AND I EXPECT THE SAME"
Rancocas Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 This town is not big enough for the both of us!! Heard in 431 different b-westerns
Bugs Bonney SASS # 10171 Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 I know, I know, lets head them off at the pass!
Nasty Newt # 7365 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 From Justified a season or two ago: Raylan to female accomplice of two thugs he just beat up: "Which one is your husband?" Woman: "The stupid one." Raylan: "That don't narrow it down much."
Cypress Sun Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 Mere flesh wound. Isn't it on the back of the car. Ain't you. I think we're gonna need a bigger boat.
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 I know, I know, lets head them off at the pass! Every B movie ever made I think!
Bugs Bonney SASS # 10171 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 How about John Wayne in "The Comincharos" "Oh Monsignor, you are a lulu"
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 I do not recall the movie, but Bruce Dern is sitting with a bunch of ner do wells, sipping a can of beer. He comments, "Uggg, this horse should have a urine test."
Tony Crowe Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 See my signature below for some of my favorite western movie quotes.
Cat Brules Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 "That's right. I'm just a fella now. I ain't no different than anyone else no more." "Unforgiven" - Will Munny "You baked today. I can smell fresh bread on you. Sometime today, you cooked with salt pork. Smell that on you, too. You smell all over like soap: you took a bath. And, on top of that, you smell all over like a woman. I could find you in the dark, Mrs. Lowe, and I'm only part Indian." "Hondo" - Hondo Lane "I distrust a man who says, "when." If he's got to be careful not to drink too much, it's because he's not to be trusted when he does." "The Maltese Falcon".- Kaspar Gutman
Aunt Jen Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 "My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives!" Hedley Lamar
Aunt Jen Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 "Walk this Way." Eigor "I'll be back," Arnold swarzennegger "So tell me, punk: Do you feel lucky?" Clint. Dirty Harry "Juggle it a little. It'll open." Lucile Ball "Then why don't you get your FEET off Tge stage!" Madeline Kahn "Beam me up, Scotty." Kirk "Aaaaaaaaahh!" Lon Chaney, Wolfman "Beep beep beep, beep beereereep." Alien mother ship Close encounters "Trust me!" Han Solo BANG! Indiana shooting the swordsman Bbbbbbbb-bbbbbbbb-bbbbbbbb.. Blazing Saddles The bean scene "Early each day, on the steps of St Paul..." Mary Poppins "I dint know! I'm making this up as I go!" Indie "Lois: a good reporter doesn't maje great stories. A good reporter makes stories great!" PerryWhite Dah-dump Jaws "Put your hands on me." Rachel "I've seen attack ships off the shoulder of Orion ... (memories) ... And they'll be gone, like tears in rain." Roy Bladerunner "Live long and prosper" Spock "The more they over tick the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain." Scotty "Engineers---always love to change things!" Bones "You can understand anything, and if you can undrsrsnd it, you can fix it." Joe, my hubby
Sagebrush Burns, SASS # 14226 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 From "The Professionals" Lee Marvin: "Yes Sir, in my case an accident of birth, you, Sir, are a self made man."
N. Da Brig Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Jebediah Nightlinger praying before he is about to be hanged by Asa Watts in The Cowboys. "I regret trifling with married women. I'm thoroughly ashamed at cheating at cards. I deplore my occasional departures from the truth. Forgive me for taking your name in vain...my Saturday drunkeness...my Sunday sloth. Above all; forgive me for the men I've killed in anger...and those I am about to."
Seamus McGillicuddy Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Mattie (To Mrs. Bagsby): Presbyterian, huh? Southern or Cumberland? Mrs. Bagby: Southern. Mattie: My folks are Cumberland and proud of it. LaBoeuf: (To all) I was raised in the Episcopal Church, myself. Mattie: (To LeBoeuf) I figured you for some kind of kneeler! Seamus
SGT. QUINCANNON, SASS #32999 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Rick Blaine to Captain Louis Renault, Casablanca
The O'Meara Himself Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Tombstone: THug "You're so drunk your seeing double! Doc Holliday "Fortunately, I have two guns..." Himself
The Yankee Bandit, SASS #59258 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Fill your hands, you son of a bitch!!
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I got no problem with killing, Boss. Never have. Charley Waite
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 Two, from tv shows that cracked me up: Hill Street Blues - the Captain and his girlfriend upon being confronted by a mugger with his hand in his pants pocket simulating a gun, the girlfriend responds "is that a banana or are you just happy to see me?" From the Paul Reiser Helen Hunt sitcom (Iforget the name of it)- Paul is being forced to go to some girly event that he is unhappy about and as they are leaving the apartment he glances at the dog who is licking what dogs often lick and Paul comments " if I could do that I wouldn't have to go to this " Lewis Grizzard had a story about that only with the UGA bulldog mascot and ended with the line " Go ahead but that dog'll bite youuuuuuuu!!!!"
Trailrider #896 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 "Watch out for fighters...twelve o'clock high!" - BGen Frank Savage (Gregory Peck) in the movie of the same name! "How close are they?" Audey Murphy, "Just a minute and I'll let you talk to them!" as the Germans advance on his burning tank, and he is calling in artillery. "Facinating!" - Spock "Take us out, Mr. Sulu... Thataway!" Capt. Kirk "I have always been, and always will be your friend!" dying Spock in "Star Trek - The Wrath of Kahn" "Pilgrim, you caused a lot of trouble. But I won't hit him! I won't hit him... The hell I won't!" "What's that?" After the Mexican band stops playing the Daguello. There is dead silence. "I dunno. But it shore is loud!" "Yol bolsun! May there be a road!" from one of Louis L'Amour's non-western books!
Sedalia Dave Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 From Justified a season or two ago: Raylan to female accomplice of two thugs he just beat up: "Which one is your husband?" Woman: "The stupid one." Raylan: "That don't narrow it down much."
Sedalia Dave Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 "Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid." Sgt Stryker, The Sands of Iwo Jima "When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk." Tuco, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly "D'oh!" Homer Jay Simpson "Ruh Roh!" Astro, The Jetsons "I Resemble That Remark !" Curly, The Three Stooges
Caliope Cupcake #13981 Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 "She shor wuz a mite more to keep than she wuz to get!!" Aaahrrr Robert Newton, Blackbeard the Pirate 1952
Baddog Nobiscuit #46532 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life...." - Dean Wormer
Hurricane Deck 100366 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, f**** it. Mr. Gustave in "The Grand Budapest Hotel"
Aunt Jen Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Sometimes so much is said, without words --- like when Kevin Costner stood on the prairie and looked at the land, "Dances with Wolves." --- like when Harrison Ford looked at Sean Young by the elevator, "Bladerunner." --- or like when all of us stared at the movie screen and marveled at the mother ship, "Close Encounters of the Third Kind."
Duffield, SASS #23454 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 "Well, I'm the dealer and I choose to take four." Andy Devine in "Slaughter Trail"
Caliope Cupcake #13981 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 yep we already knew that CR! The Addams Family: "Don't torture yourself, that's MY job!" "An AX? That takes me back... Ooo aaahh You've done this before." "What if he comes back half-rotting?" "Don't TEASE!"
Riverboat Red, SASS #71733 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 From Firefly: Mal: "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back!" Mal: Well, we may not have parted on the best of terms. I realize certain words were exchanged. Also, certain... bullets.Jayne : Hell, I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there's a woman, or if I'm gettin' paid - mostly only when I'm gettin' paid.
Bugs Bonney SASS # 10171 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 "Never tell me the odds kid". Han Solo, Star wars
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