Old Scatterbrain Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 My sister had a girl call today and explain that she missed work Saturday because she had a horrible car wreck, and had been in a medically-induced coma, but that she will be back to work tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bama Red Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Ahhhhhhhhhh........the old "medically-induced coma" excuse, eh? She needs to be out the door unless she can furnish you a copy of her hospital discharge papers. Like that's ever gonna happen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Scatterbrain Posted April 3, 2012 Author Share Posted April 3, 2012 Ahhhhhhhhhh........the old "medically-induced coma" excuse, eh? She needs to be out the door unless she can furnish you a copy of her hospital discharge papers. Like that's ever gonna happen! We were joking about that: "Dear Taylor's boss. Taylor was absent from work Satterday because she was in a medically induced comma. Signed, Taylor's doctor." Of course the letterhead will be "The Hospital" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakota Rebel, SASS# 58412 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 When I was a LT on the PD, officers had to fill out a sick leave report, including the illness or injury. Two examples from a couple of smarta$$ cops. I was sick and tired, and sick and tired of being sick and tired. My socks wouldn't stay up. And yes, they were just two of my problem children-with guns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evil dogooder Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 lets see I've heard. flat tire used by someone who didn't own a car and walked two blocks to work. and my car was struck by lighting. the funny thing was that one was actually true it was caught on camera. the only problem was it was struck by lighting three months before he started working for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Three Foot Johnson Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 A dozen years or so ago, I had a guy who would call off a couple times a month with car trouble - it wouldn't start, had a flat, whatever. He lived about 200 yards from the plant fence, and maybe 500 yards using the road... less than a 10 minute walk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pack Saddle Slim, SASS #73122 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I've heard plenty of excuses after almost 30 years of teaching at a university. One colleague shared the story of a young man who failed to show up for the final. His excuse was, "My dog ate my car keys." My friend then asked, "Don't you have another set?" The guy just stared for a moment, thought a bit, then hesitantly said, "Uh...well...he ate both sets???" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 "Excuses are lies"...that's what my boss used to tell us... so I just said "I don't have an excuse...I have a reason" GG ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 "Excuses are lies"...that's what my boss used to tell us... so I just said "I don't have an excuse...I have a reason" GG ~ I agree. No excuses. There can be explanations, though..... But it's best to never complain, never explain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clueless Bob Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Sounds like a bad case of Anal Glacoma. Can't see my a#* going to work today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Dan Troop 70448 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 There was an employee who called and said he "won't be in for afternoon shift, shot my dog" and hung up. Several days later we found out that morning he had gone pheasant hunting, and did in fact accidently shoot his dog. MT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Had a clerk once who filled out a sick leave slip stating she had "Minstrel cramps". This surprised me. I didn't know she was musically inclined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notso Slim, SASS #67301 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I heard one from a friend of mine. Guy comes in late and says "Sorry I was late. I left a bag of pot out, could not find it and did not want my dog to eat it while I was at work." Amazingly he tested positve on their next "random" drug test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blasted Cap Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 When I was in HS the mother of a friend called the nurse and told her he wouldn't be in today. "He has simple chronic halitosis". The schol counted it excused and the nurse asked if he felt better the next day. I'm pretty sure brushing his teeth would have cured the bad breath though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Had a clerk once who filled out a sick leave slip stating she had "Minstrel cramps". This surprised me. I didn't know she was musically inclined. I saw a movie once where a girl went to band camp and..... ....nope....won't go there GG ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooting Bull Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Sounds like a bad case of Anal Glacoma. Can't see my a#* going to work today. Dangit. Ya beat me to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I've been known to have "industrial dihorea" a time or two .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curley Fryes Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 A Pard of mine called work and said he couldn't come in 'cause he had Zackly. His breath smelled Zackly like his..OOPS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 When I was in HS the mother of a friend called the nurse and told her he wouldn't be in today. "He has simple chronic halitosis". The schol counted it excused and the nurse asked if he felt better the next day. I'm pretty sure brushing his teeth would have cured the bad breath though. Better than the heartbreak of psoriasis, though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blasted Cap Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Oral Psoriasis. Losing the skin off his teeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 'Way back when, there was a really nice lady who worked for me in San Francisco. Every year or so she needed time off to make an "emergency trip to the Phillipines to see her dying Mom, who was not expected to see the end of the week." Dunno what the feminine version of "Lazarus" is, but that would be Mom... or perhaps her daughter had marvelous healing powers... Mom would always have an amazing recovery and bounce right back! So whenever she'd come to my office to plead her need for leave, I'd just smile and ask her to give her Ma my best regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorado Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Best excuse I heard was from a friend of mine's little boy. He smacked his sister, HARD, when his father asked him why he did that he looked up and said "Cause I needed to." as if that was all the explanation needed. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pulp, SASS#28319 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I've got to call in for tomorrow. I think I'll use the anal glaucoma excuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Scatterbrain Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 I've been known to have "industrial dihorea" a time or two .... ?? Give me a nudge; I didn't quite make it to the finish line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Guy told me his wife was gonna get pregnant and he wanted to be there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bama Red Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Had a clerk once who filled out a sick leave slip stating she had "Minstrel cramps". This surprised me. I didn't know she was musically inclined. You mean the blackface, tap shoes and cane didn't give it away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 ?? Give me a nudge; I didn't quite make it to the finish line. Industrial dihorrea ....... "got tha $#!t$ with work" ............ sometimes I gets it real bad ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seldom Seen #16162 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 'Way back when, there was a really nice lady who worked for me in San Francisco. Every year or so she needed time off to make an "emergency trip to the Phillipines to see her dying Mom, who was not expected to see the end of the week." Dunno what the feminine version of "Lazarus" is, but that would be Mom... or perhaps her daughter had marvelous healing powers... Mom would always have an amazing recovery and bounce right back! So whenever she'd come to my office to plead her need for leave, I'd just smile and ask her to give her Ma my best regards. I would not laugh at this one. It probably was true. My wife's Grandmother was a little old lady (5'0" and 90 something pounds) that was tough as nails. When she was young she used to fix her husband breakfast, then go hitch up four horses to a plow, walk behind the plow plowing all morning, knock off to fix lunch, then go plow again in the afternoon and then go fix supper. And did I mention she managed to raised a bunch of children at the same time. As she advanced in years she would go through crisises where her health would decline and she would tell her children she didn't have much longer to live. Well the family would gather around her for a last visit and, yep, she would rally and her health would improve. This went a bunch, probably once a year. Some things that sound silly are actually true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clueless Bob Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Had one guy late to work one morning. Now this guy was never late and when this happened, everyone was concerned. When asked, he shyly said that momma said yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Had one guy late to work one morning. Now this guy was never late and when this happened, everyone was concerned. When asked, he shyly said that momma said yes. Many moons ago I had a boss who was pretty quiet and reserved, a classic engineer-type. One day he came back really late from lunch. I off-handedly asked where he'd been gone so long and he told me he'd gone home for lunch. I commented that I was happy for him to have some time with his wife and kids. His face got a little flush, a grin broke across his face, and he responded... "The kids weren't at home." I was very happy for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Winchester Jack, SASS #70195 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 when we were living in So Cal there was a report of a young woman claiming she was assaulted and raped as she walked across the college campus and that was why she missed class. Later she admitted she had lied because she wasnt prepared for the test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Neeley Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I call the day after and tell them "Don't pay the ransom. I just escaped!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Pony Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Kind of off topic but I've always wanted to be able to give "notice" by calling the boss and saying "You probably notice I'm not at work today..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seldom Seen #16162 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Or worse yet, nobody noticed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smokey Shayne Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 One of the wildest I have ever heard...and been involved in... A guy at the automotive plant where I worked decided that he didnt want to come into work one night. Seems he had been having a few drinks and wasnt ready to stop just yet. Maybe the alcohol had some effect on his decision to call in a "bomb threat" to the plant. He was able to sound convincing enough that we had to evacuate the plant while the Bomb Squad came to search the building. Two hours in the parking lot, Plant Supervisor finally showed up, less than 10mins after he was there, we got the all clear sign....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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