Alpo Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!". 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassnetguy50 Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 16 hours ago, Alpo said: Don't buy the dinosaur at the 24hr walmart on Lex, it will fall apart too. 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 Last night I went to a Christmas party, had a few drinks, followed by a few more drinks, followed by a few shots and was pretty well "lit". That's when I decided to take a cab home. Sure enough, there was a DUI checkpoint on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in the garage, I don't know what the heck to do with it!! Be safe and plan ahead this holiday season. 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 2 hours ago, Alpo said: Last night I went to a Christmas party, had a few drinks, followed by a few more drinks, followed by a few shots and was pretty well "lit". That's when I decided to take a cab home. Sure enough, there was a DUI checkpoint on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in the garage, I don't know what the heck to do with it!! Be safe and plan ahead this holiday season. I did that once with a bus. It didn't work out as well as I had hoped. BTW, hanging Christmas lights on a bus does NOT hide the bus. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 1 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 28, 2023 Author Share Posted October 28, 2023 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 1 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 28, 2023 Share Posted October 28, 2023 1 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 29, 2023 Author Share Posted October 29, 2023 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 1 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 29, 2023 Author Share Posted October 29, 2023 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 29, 2023 Author Share Posted October 29, 2023 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 ....... might have only been $120 if you'd not had that nose ring ....... 1 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 1 hour ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: 1 hour ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: ....... might have only been $120 if you'd not had that nose ring ....... And the attitude. 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 29, 2023 Author Share Posted October 29, 2023 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 17 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: I like that guy! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kloehr Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 56 minutes ago, DocWard said: I think this is a better fit for the Dad Joke thread. 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 https://www.facebook.com/reel/1024040298745867?mibextid=9drbnH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 Remember that this week will be Reformation Day when Martin Luther nailed his 95 Reeses to the door of the church in Wittenberg. Why he wanted to waste candy I don't know but apparently kids came by at night wearing masks and stole the candy thus starting the tradition of Halloween. 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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