It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Subdeacon Joe]

[sassnetguy50]

7 hours ago, Alpo said:

In the funny pictures thread I posted one of a baseball bat stuck in a tree. There is someone standing behind the tree, and the question was posed as to who was peeing on the tree.

 

This question brought forth memories.

 

Realize, not only am I not an artist, I'm not even a cartoonist.

 

This cartoon was in Playboy many years back. First we have what appears to be a man standing behind a tree peeing. The stream and the splash as it hits the ground.

 

 

The second picture shows that the man had been holding a flower head behind the tree with him, and what we thought was pee was actually the stem and grass of the flower.

 

 

This next one actually happened. Early one Sunday morning I'm walking the dog down the street, and as I'm coming up on this one yard I see a man hidden from the waist down by his car, peeing in the front yard.

 

 

As I continue down the street, and my view angle changes, and he is no longer hidden by his car, I see that he is standing there holding a garden hose. There on the ground are a couple of fishing rods, and he is rinsing them off.

 

 

Never believe what you see, until you look at it again.

I was working on a farm in my 20s when I thought two of my coworkers were gay.  Any time one of them saw me peeing on my truck tire, they would come over to look around the side of my truck.  Turns out they weren't gay, they read Playboy for the cartoons.

Edited October 23, 2023 by sassnetguy50

[Subdeacon Joe]

Can't find it on YouTube

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1138137317161348?mibextid=9drbnH

 

The receipt:

https://www.cooks.com/recipe/p67gr1k1/grape-nuts-southern-pie.html

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Can't find it on YouTube

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1138137317161348?mibextid=9drbnH

 

The receipt:

https://www.cooks.com/recipe/p67gr1k1/grape-nuts-southern-pie.html

 

Otto struck again!

[Alpo]

I busted him on that month or so back.

 

And he explained that receipt is an older term for recipe, but still an acceptable spelling, and one he uses often.

 

So that wasn't otto. Joe done it.

 

 

Added: see definition number four.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/receipt

 

Then go down a little bit further and read about receipt versus recipe.

Edited October 23, 2023 by Alpo

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

Okay, I will let Otto off the hook - this time.

[Subdeacon Joe]

26 minutes ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said:

 

Otto struck again!

 

Nope.   Up until fairly recently a list of ingredients and how to put them together was called a receipt.

 

E.g. https://d.lib.msu.edu/fa/4

 

"Aunt Babette's" cook book : foreign and domestic receipts for the household : a valuable collection of receipts and hints for the housewife, many of which are not to be found elsewhere"

 

And

 

Edited October 23, 2023 by Subdeacon Joe

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

18 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

Had a girlfriend with a Siamese cat that loved to be spinned like that!

 

It was laying on the floor once and I put my fingers under its' chin and started spinning it. After that, it would come up to me and lay down so I could spin it.

[Eyesa Horg]

Our Winchester kitty liked it too. Our Mossberg liked to get shoved across the floor and would come slippin and slidin back for more. Then suddenly attack your hand!!

[Sedalia Dave]

 

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

[Alpo]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

On 10/22/2023 at 9:45 PM, Subdeacon Joe said:

Can't find it on YouTube

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1138137317161348?mibextid=9drbnH

 

The receipt:

https://www.cooks.com/recipe/p67gr1k1/grape-nuts-southern-pie.html

my mother made a fake apple pie out of ritz crackers one time, fed it to my Dad. He commented on how good it was, she laughed and told him what it was, he was pissed. Told her never make that crap again. Till he found out her brother was coming for a visit, " make one of those pie for him" got a good laugh when my uncle thought it was good pie.

Edited October 25, 2023 by Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

 

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

[Subdeacon Joe]

8 hours ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

my mother made a fake apple pie out of ritz crackers one time, fed it to my Dad. He commented on how good it was, she laughed and told him what it was, he was pissed. Told her never make that crap again. Till he found out her brother was coming for a visit, " make one of those pie for him" got a good laugh when my uncle thought it was good pie.

 

That's something I don't understand, "Hey! This is REALLY GOOD!!!"

"IT'S WHAT?!?! DON'T EVER FEED ME THAT GARBAGE AGAIN!"

 

If you liked it, you liked it. The taste didn't suddenly change because y found out what's in it.   

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

13 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

That's something I don't understand, "Hey! This is REALLY GOOD!!!"

"IT'S WHAT?!?! DON'T EVER FEED ME THAT GARBAGE AGAIN!"

 

If you liked it, you liked it. The taste didn't suddenly change because y found out what's in it.   

It wasn't the pie so much as she "pranked" him. We had it a few time after that.

[Sedalia Dave]

[Subdeacon Joe]

My wife sent me:

""Blue Moon Investigations Ten Book Bundle" by steve higgs and wanted to share this quote with you.

"Both of my dogs had a thing about squirrels. I could not work out if they felt it was some form of personal insult that a squirrel would come into the garden, or whether it was something else, but they went after them as if they were balls thrown by God."

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

A soldier, a sailor, a marine, and an airman are all in a survival class. The instructor asks, “you wake up and find a scorpion in your tent. What do you do?”

The sailor says “ I get out of the tent, sir”

The soldier says “ I kill it, sir”

The Marine says “I KILL IT! THEN EAT IT! SIR! OOHRAH!”

The airman says “ I call the front desk and find out why there's a tent in my room, sir.’

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

 

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

1 hour ago, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said:

  

 

Even the trees know the truth.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

My wife sent another quote:

 "Blue Moon Investigations Ten Book Bundle" by steve higgs and wanted to share this quote with you.

"‘Women, in general, have a scale of contentment. It goes in descending order like this: Great, good, okay, not okay, I hate you, fine. When a girl says I’m fine a chap should look for a shield or leave the area.’"

 

Edited October 27, 2023 by Subdeacon Joe

[John Kloehr]

10 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

Last week her a call from my lady. She got to her destination but now had a car problem. The key would not come out of the ignition, nor could she turn it to start the car again.

 

OK, it is an older vintage car and something in the column could have broke, but before I detour for a special stop, I ask her if she put the transmission in park...

 

That was it 

 

But I could not give her a hard time, some decades ago I parked my car on the lawn to wash and detail it in the shade of a tree. A few hours later I went to move it and the car would not start... I had left it in drive when I pulled onto the lawn. Took me several hours to figure it out. Mine back then was just a key in the dash, her's is newer and has a column interlock.

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxJ5EdROB7c/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

 

Don't touch her fabric shears.

[Subdeacon Joe]