Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 15 Posted March 15 The CIA receives a serious bomb threat to Air Force One. Taking no chances, they call in a senior partner from McKinsey. After much deliberation he hands over a bag and requests that it is always present on the plane. This, he says, would reduce the risk. This trick seems to work so the CIA decide to open the bag. They discover a bomb in his bag. The partner explains. "Statistics show that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs on one plane is 1/1000000. So, plane is much safer..." 1 1 5 Quote
John Kloehr Posted March 15 Posted March 15 13 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: The CIA receives a serious bomb threat to Air Force One. Taking no chances, they call in a senior partner from McKinsey. After much deliberation he hands over a bag and requests that it is always present on the plane. This, he says, would reduce the risk. This trick seems to work so the CIA decide to open the bag. They discover a bomb in his bag. The partner explains. "Statistics show that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs on one plane is 1/1000000. So, plane is much safer..." This is why when flying, you should always bring your own bomb. Science! 2 2 4 Quote
Alpo Posted March 15 Posted March 15 Man is driving down a dark lonely road when he sees a hitchhiker. He stops and picks him up. They ride in silence for a little ways, then the hitchhiker turns to the driver and says, "I certainly appreciate you picking me up. But aren't you concerned that I might be a homicidal maniac?" The driver looks over at him and says, "What are the odds of there being two of them in the same car?" 1 4 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 16 Author Posted March 16 Cop caught shaking down a suspect https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEapJi1OYsA/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 1 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 16 Posted March 16 Blonde girl was hired by a Redhead girl to help build a house. Redhead gives the Blonde a hammer and a bag of nails and is told to nail siding on the house. Redhead notices that the Blonde is pulling out nails from the bag and throwing half of the nails away. Redhead goes to the Blonde and asks, “XXX are you doing? Why are you throwing all those nails away?”. Blonde says, “They’re the wrong nails. Some have the pointy end towards the house, and I can use them, but the ones with the blunt end won’t work.” Redhead yells at the Blonde, “My Gawd, are you stupid? Save those nails for the other side!” 2 3 Quote
Alpo Posted March 17 Posted March 17 Is there such a place as Bahama? I've heard of a group of islands called "the Bahamas". With an S. But in the Beach Boys song KOKOMO, they go to Bahama. Is this simply a little literary messing around to make the rhythm work? Or is there actually a place called Bahama? 2 Quote
John Kloehr Posted March 17 Posted March 17 The original name is Bahama, which translates as Shallow Seas. Therefore officially The Bahamas Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted March 17 Posted March 17 12 hours ago, Alpo said: ........... if he's far enough away that he can't hear you ........ call him anything you want. 🤐 1 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 17 Posted March 17 An Emperor Penguin made it to Australia, quite rare, malnourished, its being cared for, etc, but…. While the penguin may be settling into life Down Under, on the beach it soon discovered that sand and ice are two different things. “He did a little belly slide on the sand; I think he thought it was snow,” Mr. Fowler said. didn’t get far. )))) 3 Quote
Sedalia Dave Posted March 17 Posted March 17 9 hours ago, Alpo said: Is there such a place as Bahama? I've heard of a group of islands called "the Bahamas". With an S. But in the Beach Boys song KOKOMO, they go to Bahama. Is this simply a little literary messing around to make the rhythm work? Or is there actually a place called Bahama? Artistic license to make the song flow. Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 17 Author Posted March 17 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bahamas "The Bahama islands were inhabited by the Arawak and Lucayans, a branch of the Arawakan-speaking Taíno, for many centuries.[14] Christopher Columbus was the first European to see the islands, making his first landfall in the "New World" in 1492 when he landed on the island of San Salvador. Later, the Spanish shipped the native Lucayans to Hispaniola and enslaved them there, after which the Bahama islands were mostly deserted from 1513 until 1648, as nearly all native Bahamians had been forcibly removed for enslavement or had died of diseases which Europeans had brought with them from Europe. In 1649,[15] English colonists from Bermuda, known as the Eleutheran Adventurers, settled on the island of Eleuthera." 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 17 Posted March 17 A farmer had three daughters. It was the night of the Farmer’s Harvest Moon Celebration, so he’d settled into his couch to read the Almanac while his daughters all got ready upstairs. As he’s reading, the doorbell rings. He opens the door to a young man in a tie carrying a box of candy. The boy says, “Good evening Sir! I’m Freddy, I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re going out for spaghetti.” So the farmer yells up the stairs, “Betty! It’s Freddy. Here to take you out for spaghetti!” A squeal comes from the top of the stairs, down Betty runs, and out the door she goes with Freddy. He’s about to sit down, when the doorbell rings again. He opens the door to a young man in a blazer with a bouquet of flowers. “Good Evening Sir!” he says. “I’m here for Flo. We’re going to the show.” The farmer yells up the stairs, “Flo! It’s Joe, here to take you out to the show!” Flo dances down the stairs, and off she goes with Joe to the show. The third daughter continues to primp as she awaits her beau. Downstairs she hears the doorbell, the door open - and suddenly two gunshots ring out! She races down the stairs to see her boyfriend dead on the steps, her father angrily hovering over the body with a smoking shotgun. “Daddy!!” she screams, “Why did you kill my boyfriend.” He pauses, looks her in the eye, and responds, “He said his name was Chuck.” 4 1 1 Quote
Alpo Posted March 18 Posted March 18 Betty, Freddy, spaghetti. All three, including the girl's name, rhyme. Flo, Joe, show. Again, all three rhyme. What do you reckon the third daughter's name is? I'm trying to think of any girl's name that would rhyme with Chuck. 2 1 Quote
John Kloehr Posted March 18 Posted March 18 1 hour ago, Alpo said: What do you reckon the third daughter's name is? I'm trying to think of any girl's name that would rhyme with Chuck. Puck is a popular female name in the Netherlands. 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 18 Posted March 18 Alexa, where’s my dad? Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. GOTCHA, my dad is sitting next to me. Your mom’s husband is sitting next to you, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. 1 6 Quote
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted March 18 Posted March 18 On 3/16/2025 at 11:53 PM, Alpo said: Is there such a place as Bahama? I've heard of a group of islands called "the Bahamas". With an S. But in the Beach Boys song KOKOMO, they go to Bahama. Is this simply a little literary messing around to make the rhythm work? Or is there actually a place called Bahama? The main island is named Grand Bahama Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 19 Author Posted March 19 Maybe someone else can find this on YouTube When British track toads get bored https://fb.watch/yqOUS651fW/ 4 Quote
Eyesa Horg Posted March 19 Posted March 19 Here, hold my beer!!! That somehow looked like a riot! 2 1 Quote
Alpo Posted March 20 Posted March 20 When Yogi does not share the picanic basket, Boo Boo has to fend for himself. 3 7 Quote
Alpo Posted March 20 Posted March 20 "It's the little old lady from Pasadena" go granny go granny go granny go, go granny go granny go granny go GRANNY GO! 1 6 Quote
Texas Joker Posted March 21 Posted March 21 9 hours ago, Alpo said: I want this toolbox. They want to sell it to you and have an easy payment plan! Plus all the tools 1 Quote
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted March 21 Posted March 21 I just found out I'm not fat, just a few meals ahead and a few poops behind. 5 Quote
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