Eyesa Horg Posted March 21 Posted March 21 20 minutes ago, Alpo said: And people dyin' to move in there 2 2 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 21 Author Posted March 21 41 minutes ago, Alpo said: Don't do it...they're all Democrats. 2 5 Quote
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted March 21 Posted March 21 38 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said: Don't do it...they're all Democrats. And they all vote. 4 2 1 Quote
John Kloehr Posted March 21 Posted March 21 17 minutes ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said: And they all vote. Did not realize that was a picture in Chicago. 1 4 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 22 Author Posted March 22 I've called half a dozen florists. Not one knew anything about tile, wood flooring, or carpet. Sad. 1 5 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 23 Posted March 23 A guy walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The guy says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $18.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and, without looking, pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the guy and the ostrich come again and the guy says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the guy reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until one night they enter the restaurant and the waitress asks, "The usual?" "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad", says the guy. "Me too," says the ostrich. The waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $42.62." Once again the guy pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?" "Well," says the guy, "several years ago I was cleaning my attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the guy. The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?" The guy sighs and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say." 1 5 1 Quote
Alpo Posted March 24 Posted March 24 That's why you should never change the country of origin of a joke. It usually ruins the punchline. That's a British joke. The guy wished for a long legged bird that was agreeable. But people had to make it American. A tall chick? An ostrich isn't a chick. 1 Quote
Gateway Kid SASS# 70038 Life Posted March 24 Posted March 24 1 hour ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: You first! Gateway Kid 1 4 Quote
Blackwater 53393 Posted March 24 Posted March 24 3 hours ago, Alpo said: That could have SHOCKING consequences!!🤣 2 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 25 Posted March 25 I’m suing Apple for my medical bills. Wife texted a picture of her in a new dress. She asked if it made her but look big. i replied NOOO! Siri changed it to MOOO! 8 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 25 Author Posted March 25 20 hours ago, Alpo said: AAAALLLLLL RIGHT! LISTEN UP!!! Thanks to Carl, this weeks safety meeting will cover Use Of Ladders! 1 1 3 Quote
Eyesa Horg Posted March 25 Posted March 25 5 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said: AAAALLLLLL RIGHT! LISTEN UP!!! Thanks to Carl, this weeks safety meeting will cover Use Of Ladders! We had a Lenny at the phone company that sling shotted himself across a front yard off a ladder. He leaned it on the cable to cut the wire going to the house, except on the wrong side so the wire was holding his weight! When he cut it, the ladder went forward about 8 feet and then sprung back throwing him off and out into the yard! Yup, no body belt around the cable either. Created a long pain in the ass day for the rest of us!! We'd constantly warn new techs "not to pull a Lenny" 🤠 4 2 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 25 Author Posted March 25 Dispatch: Before dispatching rescue crews, please verify the vessel is actually sinking...... A-10 coast guard pilot: BRRRRRRRRRRRRT Affirmative. The Vessel is actually sinking. 1 7 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 26 Author Posted March 26 1 hour ago, Alpo said: One day I was reading the Labor Law poster that was in the LGS my wife worked at. At the bottom of it was a bit, I don't recall the exact words or if it was federal or state, going on about violence in the workplace, and if you see someone with a firearm you should report them immediately. Yeah. 4 Quote
Alpo Posted March 26 Posted March 26 LET'S GO surfin' now, Everybody's learning how Come on let's safari with me Come on let's safari with me 1 6 Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.