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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe

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I got the "Glock on a croc", but it wasn't.

 

Now if they had taken that Smith and Wesson and placed it in between the top and bottom of a hamburger roll, that would be a gun on a bun. And you have alliteration. :P

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49 minutes ago, Ozark Huckleberry said:

 

Alliteration?

image.png.b8879202348682bb01f03868c2a18869.png

Back at ya...

 

Screenshot_20240217_062725_Brave.thumb.jpg.1b1298399b6a15df605131e021e3a986.jpg

 

'gun/bun.....  glock/crock

 

similiar sounds beginning and end.

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You are correct in that that word does not mean what I thought it meant. Alliteration is a repeated consonant sound. Mickey mouse, big boobs, sad sack.

 

The repeating of vowel sounds - the o sound in Glock and crock or the u sound in gun and bun - is assonance.

 

My dog is going to be pissed. Since I've learned something new at 7:15 in the morning, I can go back to bed until tomorrow (learn something new every day) so she's going to have to keep her legs crossed until tomorrow morning and she will miss out on supper.

 

I will tell her it is Ozark's fault. So she shows up at your house and bites you on the leg, you will know why.

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22 minutes ago, Alpo said:

You are correct in that that word does not mean what I thought it meant. Alliteration is a repeated consonant sound. Mickey mouse, big boobs, sad sack.

 

The repeating of vowel sounds - the o sound in Glock and crock or the u sound in gun and bun - is assonance.

 

My dog is going to be pissed. Since I've learned something new at 7:15 in the morning, I can go back to bed until tomorrow (learn something new every day) so she's going to have to keep her legs crossed until tomorrow morning and she will miss out on supper.

 

I will tell her it is Ozark's fault. So she shows up at your house and bites you on the leg, you will know why.


Or it could be a repeated vowel — early end, insulted ignoramus. 
 

Now you’ve learned two things. 
 

 

 


IMG_0394.gif.3258604f373c630182ede6379bb4eca3.gif

Edited by Ozark Huckleberry
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1 hour ago, Alpo said:

Not according to here.

 

https://literarydevices.net/alliteration/

Open to debate, as with the Oxford comma. 
 

Refer to the definition TJ thoughtfully provided. ‘Initial sound’ — not specifically consonants.  
 

Now you’re up to three. 
 

Edit to add:


Alliteration vs. assonance

 

Refer to p.1, last two paragraphs. 

Edited by Ozark Huckleberry
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2 minutes ago, Alpo said:

humor stoned gramma.jpg

 

 

30 years ago, heck, maybe 25 years ago, this could likely have been true.  But, let's say those ladies are 80 years old.  That means born in 1943 or 1944.  That means they would have been 20 going into the mid-1960s.  Pretty slim chance that they wouldn't know what it is.

(good LORD!  Twice within about a week I've Alpoed Alpo!  One of us is losing it.....)

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It's hard to tell because that's really a crappy picture, but that swamp cat looks like a crocodile. The snout looks real narrow. Too narrow to be an alligator.

 

Which should make that an Aussie swamp cat

 

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The Rabbi, a golfing fiend, has finished the Yom Kippur morning service, and there is a break. He gets an uncontrollable urge to play a round of golf. G-d and the angels are watching.

He goes to the golf course, tees up the first hole, swings for the first hole and gets a hole in one. He continues, to the second and the third holes and the same thing happens. G-d and the angels are watching.

The angels ask G-d “why are you letting him win like this? This is Yom Kippur, the day of Atonement, you are supposed to be in the synagogue all day.” G-d keeps silent. This continues to the 18th hole, all the holes are holes in one.

The angels now ask G-d “He is doing everything wrong. This is against what you are supposed to do. Why did you reward him with this great achievement?” G-d turns to them with a smile and says “Who is he going to tell”.

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1 hour ago, Alpo said:

It's hard to tell because that's really a crappy picture, but that swamp cat looks like a crocodile. The snout looks real narrow. Too narrow to be an alligator.

 

Which should make that an Aussie swamp cat

 

 

Florida has Crocodiles as well as alligators.

 

image.png.d2a208e7375d3daa1cfa2dc22ae490ee.png

 

https://myfwc.com/wildlifehabitats/profiles/reptiles/american-crocodile/

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Stolen from the web…

 

Yesterday I attended a wedding. I took almost an hour to dress up and I think was looking ok. Hoping against hope that my husband would appreciate or atleast look at me (I have been waiting for that one look from last 30 years).

“Wow! Mom you are looking beautiful.” My daughter in law said. And just I was thinking that I will gift her something big for saying this....

“Even at this age”. She completed the sentence. Mental note - gift cancelled.

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Y

14 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Stolen from the web…

 

Yesterday I attended a wedding. I took almost an hour to dress up and I think was looking ok. Hoping against hope that my husband would appreciate or atleast look at me (I have been waiting for that one look from last 30 years).

“Wow! Mom you are looking beautiful.” My daughter in law said. And just I was thinking that I will gift her something big for saying this....

“Even at this age”. She completed the sentence. Mental note - gift cancelled.

That is right up there with "Do these shorts make me look fat?"  40 years on my response "I like some of your other ones better" still resonates on occasion.

Edited by Rip Snorter
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9 hours ago, Rip Snorter said:

Y

That is right up there with "Do these shorts make me look fat?"  40 years on my response "I like some of your other ones better" still resonates on occasion.

 

Do not say, "No, those shorts don't make you look fat... your fat makes you look fat."

 

That sort of comes from SHMBO. I had made the comment, "I'm glad you don't play those games " after hearing That Question on a TV show. She said, "I don't need to.  I know my clothes don't make me look fat, my fat makes me look fat." She had also quipped at the grocery store, when the checker asked if I wanted a bag, "He doesn't need one, I'm right here "

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16 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

She had also quipped at the grocery store, when the checker asked if I wanted a bag, "He doesn't need one, I'm right here "

At the store, when I buy milk or iced tea, and they ask if I want it in a bag, I tell them "No, just leave it in the jug."

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37 minutes ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

At the store, when I buy milk or iced tea, and they ask if I want it in a bag, I tell them "No, just leave it in the jug."

 

And get met with blank looks.

When you challenge the band instructor 

 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0RZEnqO9fe/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

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I was visiting my daughter. My oldest granddaughter was in either first or second grade - don't remember. But her homework involved vowel sounds.

 

Her worksheet had a list of vowel sounds, and she was supposed to make words using these vowel sounds.

 

Example - at. She needed to come up with six words that have the vowel sound "at". I told her to just start at the beginning of the alphabet and go down the line. Bat, cat, fat, hat, mat. Simple. Once she had those six words, go to the next vowel sound and start up where she left off on the alphabet.

 

One of the vowel sounds was UN.

 

So we had BUN, and we had DUN, and we had FUN, and we had GUN --- and she interrupted me and said that they were not allowed to use that word. It apparently was an evil word and could not be used in school work.

 

 

 

Interesting. otto does not know the word dun. How do you get somebody to pay money they owe you if you can't dun them? What color is that horse? Is Don Edwards going to have to sing about a zebra?

 

 

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36 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Yep.... that'll make people safe.

 

 

Seems like school management is shooting itself in the foot.

 

Further, the list is not complete, far from being lock, stock, and barrel.

 

They also need to take more careful aim in determining possible solutions.

 

Wow, these sentences almost write themselves, in a semi-automatic way.

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