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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

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I was visiting my daughter. My oldest granddaughter was in either first or second grade - don't remember. But her homework involved vowel sounds.


Her worksheet had a list of vowel sounds, and she was supposed to make words using these vowel sounds.


Example - at. She needed to come up with six words that have the vowel sound "at". I told her to just start at the beginning of the alphabet and go down the line. Bat, cat, fat, hat, mat. Simple. Once she had those six words, go to the next vowel sound and start up where she left off on the alphabet.


One of the vowel sounds was UN.


So we had BUN, and we had DUN, and we had FUN, and we had GUN --- and she interrupted me and said that they were not allowed to use that word. It apparently was an evil word and could not be used in school work.




Interesting. otto does not know the word dun. How do you get somebody to pay money they owe you if you can't dun them? What color is that horse? Is Don Edwards going to have to sing about a zebra?



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36 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Yep.... that'll make people safe.



Seems like school management is shooting itself in the foot.


Further, the list is not complete, far from being lock, stock, and barrel.


They also need to take more careful aim in determining possible solutions.


Wow, these sentences almost write themselves, in a semi-automatic way.

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33 minutes ago, Alpo said:

humor smudge I promise.jpg

We used to say that the difference between a fairy tale and a Marine's Sea stories was that the fairy tale starts with, "Once upon a time.." and a Marine's Sea story starts with, "Now this is no $hit.."

Edited by Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770
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10 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:


Do not say, "No, those shorts don't make you look fat... your fat makes you look fat."


That sort of comes from SHMBO. I had made the comment, "I'm glad you don't play those games " after hearing That Question on a TV show. She said, "I don't need to.  I know my clothes don't make me look fat, my fat makes me look fat." She had also quipped at the grocery store, when the checker asked if I wanted a bag, "He doesn't need one, I'm right here "


You sir are a lucky man.

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A man is preparing to board a train when he hears that the Pope will also be using that mode of transportation because he apparently wants to try something different.

"This is exciting," the man thinks. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person."

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. But the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff.

Shortly after taking his seat, the Pope began a crossword puzzle.

"This is fantastic," the man thinks. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance."

The Pope immediately turns to the gentleman and says, "Excuse me, but do you know a four-letter word referring to intercourse that ends in 'k'?"

Only one word leaps to mind. The man feels uncomfortable. "My goodness," he thinks, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word." He thinks for a while, then it hits him, and he says, "I think the word you're looking for is 'talk'."

"Of course," replies the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"

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Russian joke…


A Russian businessman acquires a novelty for his company - a robot secretary with the appearance of Scarlet Johansson, typing at a speed of 500 characters per minute, speaking 8 foreign languages and possessing encyclopaedic knowledge. Naturally, he invites a friend over to brag:

- Look, Kolyan, what a cool chick, she can do everything!

- Yes, Vovan, that's great! Listen, maybe I should buy one of those too? Let me give her some feedback, like a test.

- No problem! Vovan leaves the office. Suddenly, a few minutes later, horrible screams come from there. Vovan clutches his head:

- Oh, crap, I forgot to warn him that she has a pencil sharpener in her mouth!

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