Rotten things to do.

[Deja Vous]

Years ago I was the person who came up with the idea to pick on a person who picked on us in the office endlessly.. Lol.. We started sending him magazines... lol.. Wedding ones, baby onces that kind of stuff.. lol..

 

And one time I did help shave a grooms legs cuz I was the only one at the party that was not drunk. Long story, but the poor guy was getting married the next day..... then there was the one way bus ticket for a drunk groom.. lol I did not create those ideas, but I was young and stupid and mislead into helping out..

 

I can't be the only person who found far too much humor in practicle jokes when I was young.. lol.. So fess up.. lol

[Assassin]

Right after I got divorced a friend of mine sent my picture into a singles thing in the local newspaper, without my knowledge. I started getting letters and pictures from all these women, they even sent pictures of their cats. Evidently, he said I liked long moonlit walks on the beach, cats, and hanging out at the Mall.

 

 

Payback:

 

He and I look alike, so I got a bunch of his business cards. Then I'd hang out at the local watering hole and give his business cards out to the biggest/ugliest woman I could find. I'd even tell them to stop by when they were in the area. They'd stop by his office to visit. His wife really got a kick out of it.

 

 

LL'

[Subdeacon Joe]

Go down to the mall with a few half dollars and a tube of super glue. Glue one to the floor and find a place to watch people try to pick it up.

[Spooky Joe, SASS #24061]

A man I knew was married to a very prim and proper lady. Blue-nosed wouldn't even begin to describe her. When he was stationed in upcountry Thailand he would frequent every massage parlor and similar establishments within reach, all the while his wife was hundreds of kilometers away in Bangkok. Found out he was telling her he just went to keep an eye on his subordinates, including me, to keep them out of trouble.

 

When he rotated back a couple of us subscribed him to to various porno magazines and adult toy stores, anonymously of course. Once you're on one of those mailing lists, it's virtually impossible to get off. A couple of years later his daughter, who posed nude for Playboy (Girls of the ACC) just to spite her mother, told me he was still getting stuff and his wife didn't believe he didn't subscribe and constantly gave him hell about it. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

 

Whenever we happen to meet, which fortunately is very infrequently, I ask him if his daughter is still modelling. Even better if his wife is with him. The looks she gives him is worth the price of admission.

[Deadeye Doug Dalton SASS#65449L]

Go down to the mall with a few half dollars and a tube of super glue. Glue one to the floor and find a place to watch people try to pick it up.

 

I did that with the corner of a $20 bill tucked under the edge of a very heavy metal desk.

[Bugs Bonney SASS # 10171]

There are so many I'm not sure where to start. Let's make a list

1 Ordered a load of gravel dumped in a guys paved driveway in the Chicago Suburbs. Streets were all paved and he had to pay to have it removed.

2. Had a neighbor really proud of his perfectly pruned little trees so a bunch a of my buddies and I went over late one night and plucked every leaf off of them and carted the leaves off in trash bags.

3. Did a few late night burnouts on newly sodded lawns.

4. In the Suburbs without alleys folks had to put their trash out on the front curb for pickup sooo anytime after 2AM was a great time to go Garbage Canning. There were several tecniques. I had a nice car so the passenger used a push broom as a lance and we would tilt with the cans. The best one was one guy with an old wreck of a car who would simply drive down the street at about 20 and send them all flying. You did have to get the heck out of the area after a pass because the cops would spend the rest of the night looking for us.

5. Wrote a lot of dirty words on a lot of sodded lawns ...In gasoline

6. A squirt gun, a toothpick, a sub zero night and car door locks, you figure it out.

7. Hot summer nights, unlocked cars and eggs placed under the dashboard. Big suprise the next time you hit the brakes.

8. Listing a guys house for sale in the local paper.

9. Putting a guys Volkswaggon bug on his front porch. Sideways!

10. Once sodded a guys barracks room while he was on leave.

 

Those are the ones that come to mind right now, I'm sure there are more

 

Bugs

[Oklahomabound]

...back many years ago in the engineering office where I w**ked, one of our cohorts wife had the habit of calling just before lunch break; this time our cohort was away from his desk in a meeting, so I answered the phone, it was his wife, and I responded to the woman who did not identify herself that he had just left to go eat lunch with his wife...... .....long silence, then a yell and the phone went dead. We didn't see him at w88k for the next two days.....

 

 

...musta been something he ate....

 

 

 

...also w**ked for the local electric utility and most new folks in the office were sent to the Knoxville Utility Board to get their KUB electricity bill discount card...

...or...

...we would have a secretary call a new person and have them "sworn" in over the phone..... the secretary would have them stand up at their desk, raise their right hand, and then repeat what the secretary said.... when they got finished and hung the phone up, they generally got a standing ovation....

[Deja Vous]

Right after I got divorced a friend of mine sent my picture into a singles thing in the local newspaper, without my knowledge. I started getting letters and pictures from all these women, they even sent pictures of their cats. Evidently, he said I liked long moonlit walks on the beach, cats, and hanging out at the Mall.

 

 

Payback:

 

He and I look alike, so I got a bunch of his business cards. Then I'd hang out at the local watering hole and give his business cards out to the biggest/ugliest woman I could find. I'd even tell them to stop by when they were in the area. They'd stop by his office to visit. His wife really got a kick out of it.

 

 

LL'

 

Rotfl... that is too funny... so, uh you never grew up?? lol

[Grizzly Dave]

sheesh, ya'all make my goldfish in the water cooler look tame.

 

We also liked newspapers, crumpled up and stuff into things, like the HS math teachers office....

 

or my buddies Rambler, he had to work early so wasn't out with us that night, we stuffed the Rambler full and hid and watched as he stumbled out half asleep and opened his car door and just stared. He pulled out just enough paper to get in and drove off.

[Grizzly Dave]

Or, our high school had to share a football stadium with the cross town rival, and it was located at their school. Somehow the night before the big homecoming game against them someone got in and spray painted a bunch of the bleachers our colors. I have no idea who did it, but it was a well run effort, we, er, uh they had look outs with CBs and walkie talkies and the whole nine yards.

[SASS# 23321 Canelo Kid]

A buddy got married and took his lovely new wife on a two week honeymoon. While they were gone several of us went to their apartment and filled all the closets with balloons. Then we took apart everything in the apartment that would come apart and put all the nuts, screws, bolts, and hardware in two five gallon buckets. Set them in the middle of the living room with a note that they could now really get to know each other.

 

She thought it was funny as all get out but after six weeks he still wouldn't talk to me.

 

Safe trails,

Ckid

[Deja Vous]

Go down to the mall with a few half dollars and a tube of super glue. Glue one to the floor and find a place to watch people try to pick it up.

lol.. Oh, man if your do that please call me.. lol

[Deja Vous]

A man I knew was married to a very prim and proper lady. Blue-nosed wouldn't even begin to describe her. When he was stationed in upcountry Thailand he would frequent every massage parlor and similar establishments within reach, all the while his wife was hundreds of kilometers away in Bangkok. Found out he was telling her he just went to keep an eye on his subordinates, including me, to keep them out of trouble.

 

When he rotated back a couple of us subscribed him to to various porno magazines and adult toy stores, anonymously of course. Once you're on one of those mailing lists, it's virtually impossible to get off. A couple of years later his daughter, who posed nude for Playboy (Girls of the ACC) just to spite her mother, told me he was still getting stuff and his wife didn't believe he didn't subscribe and constantly gave him hell about it. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

 

Whenever we happen to meet, which fortunately is very infrequently, I ask him if his daughter is still modelling. Even better if his wife is with him. The looks she gives him is worth the price of admission.

You do have a mean bone in your body.. lol.. In fact several is my guess, but I think they are all out numbered by funny bones.. that is just too good.. lol

[Deja Vous]

There are so many I'm not sure where to start. Let's make a list

1 Ordered a load of gravel dumped in a guys paved driveway in the Chicago Suburbs. Streets were all paved and he had to pay to have it removed.

2. Had a neighbor really proud of his perfectly pruned little trees so a bunch a of my buddies and I went over late one night and plucked every leaf off of them and carted the leaves off in trash bags.

3. Did a few late night burnouts on newly sodded lawns.

4. In the Suburbs without alleys folks had to put their trash out on the front curb for pickup sooo anytime after 2AM was a great time to go Garbage Canning. There were several tecniques. I had a nice car so the passenger used a push broom as a lance and we would tilt with the cans. The best one was one guy with an old wreck of a car who would simply drive down the street at about 20 and send them all flying. You did have to get the heck out of the area after a pass because the cops would spend the rest of the night looking for us.

5. Wrote a lot of dirty words on a lot of sodded lawns ...In gasoline

6. A squirt gun, a toothpick, a sub zero night and car door locks, you figure it out.

7. Hot summer nights, unlocked cars and eggs placed under the dashboard. Big suprise the next time you hit the brakes.

8. Listing a guys house for sale in the local paper.

9. Putting a guys Volkswaggon bug on his front porch. Sideways!

10. Once sodded a guys barracks room while he was on leave.

 

Those are the ones that come to mind right now, I'm sure there are more

 

Bugs

 

 

Oh, gosh, Bugs I so wish we could have grown up close by ... lol... with my family of 7 and your imagination we would have lite the town on fire.. lol... A local mall and Sunstrands in Illinois had fountains.. someone dumped bubble bath into them.. lol.. my brother.. lol... I learned from the best.. lol

[Deja Vous]

...back many years ago in the engineering office where I w**ked, one of our cohorts wife had the habit of calling just before lunch break; this time our cohort was away from his desk in a meeting, so I answered the phone, it was his wife, and I responded to the woman who did not identify herself that he had just left to go eat lunch with his wife...... .....long silence, then a yell and the phone went dead. We didn't see him at w88k for the next two days.....

 

 

...musta been something he ate....

 

 

 

...also w**ked for the local electric utility and most new folks in the office were sent to the Knoxville Utility Board to get their KUB electricity bill discount card...

...or...

...we would have a secretary call a new person and have them "sworn" in over the phone..... the secretary would have them stand up at their desk, raise their right hand, and then repeat what the secretary said.... when they got finished and hung the phone up, they generally got a standing ovation....

 

 

Lol.. sort of like selling elevators tickets to a one story high school?? loll You are so bad.. man did the guy come back all beat up? lol

[Deja Vous]

Or, our high school had to share a football stadium with the cross town rival, and it was located at their school. Somehow the night before the big homecoming game against them someone got in and spray painted a bunch of the bleachers our colors. I have no idea who did it, but it was a well run effort, we, er, uh they had look outs with CBs and walkie talkies and the whole nine yards.

We use to have Pep Rallys... in high school.. I was a cheer leader for a couple years, soph varsity I was so proud cuz you rarely can do that.. anyhow.. At the pepp rallys our principals would speak and suddenly you would hear all the silveware from the cafeteria fall to the floor from the bleaches.. lol One they could not blame on me cuz I was out on the gym floor.. until my junior year, then I helped get the silverware.. lol

[Deja Vous]

A buddy got married and took his lovely new wife on a two week honeymoon. While they were gone several of us went to their apartment and filled all the closets with balloons. Then we took apart everything in the apartment that would come apart and put all the nuts, screws, bolts, and hardware in two five gallon buckets. Set them in the middle of the living room with a note that they could now really get to know each other.

 

She thought it was funny as all get out but after six weeks he still wouldn't talk to me.

 

Safe trails,

Ckid

Oh, gosh... that is too good.. I would love to steal that idea.. lol.. But you know you might have messed up his Night .. lol.. geesh... that is too good..

[Smuteye John SASS#24774]

There was something about rolls of shrink wrap that hadn't been used in a very long time and itty bitty car once.

 

Then there's the time several folks put a snotty band geek's Chevy Chevette between 3 trees and a stump (trees in front, behind and blocking the passenger side door, the stump took care of the driver's side) as payback for telling things that ought not to be told and getting folks suspended.

 

Then there was the stuck up spoiled little rich girl that came out at the end of school and found her Karmen Ghia on top a concrete picnic table. (She's lucky, putting it into the dumpster was vetoed.)

 

The evilest thing I that I even remotely had anything to do with involved a bottle of 'Doe in Heat' and a car's heater.

[Deja Vous]

There was something about rolls of shrink wrap that hadn't been used in a very long time and itty bitty car once.

 

Then there's the time several folks put a snotty band geek's Chevy Chevette between 3 trees and a stump (trees in front, behind and blocking the passenger side door, the stump took care of the driver's side) as payback for telling things that ought not to be told and getting folks suspended.

 

Then there was the stuck up spoiled little rich girl that came out at the end of school and found her Karmen Ghia on top a concrete picnic table. (She's lucky, putting it into the dumpster was vetoed.)

 

The evilest thing I that I even remotely had anything to do with involved a bottle of 'Doe in Heat' and a car's heater.

Doe in heat.. oh, no... lol. How long did it stink for? lol. Oh Plastic wrap on a toilet under the seat.. lol.. Too funny..

[Deja Vous]

K.. so please keep the ideas coming.. I have a reason for asking this... someone signed me up to a single site and I am getting buried in emails.. lol... and I am going to pay him back if it the last thing I ever do.. lol.. He is a good friend living in Co that I recently have heard from a few times.. I just know he did this.. lol.. It is so his style.. so How am I going to pay him back? I admit the first one I opened I had tears in my eyes from laughing.. he so knows I would not do this.. lol.. Geesh.. so... I need paybacks here please.. lol

[Jittery Jim Jonah, SASS #64913L]

When I worked in a distribution center we walled up the directors office door while he was on vacation.

 

When he came back he marched down the hallway and turned to go in.... only to find a blank wall.

 

Then we convinced his secretary to act innocent and say "You didn't get the memo?"

 

Seems pretty tame compared to what I've read here.

 

JJJ-D

[Deja Vous]

When I worked in a distribution center we walled up the directors office door while he was on vacation.

 

When he came back he marched down the hallway and turned to go in.... only to find a blank wall.

 

Then we convinced his secretary to act innocent and say "You didn't get the memo?"

 

Seems pretty tame compared to what I've read here.

 

JJJ-D

 

Tame???? Really??? lol... in the eyes of the doer?? lol. That is pretty nutty you know that? How many hours did you spend on the wall.. that would pretty much point out to us how tame it is.. lol And then you went the extra mile.. the secretary.. lol.. Not tame..sorry, but not tame.. loll I can't see the new photo wt uh.. h.. is it? lol.. You and trees? you and a umbrella? lol

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967]

Well....

 

There was that incident with the mouse in the dude's sandwich...

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Mine seem pretty tame by comparison.

 

Back when I lived in a condo, we had numbered parking spaces. Mine was 813 (same as unit #). Yuppie moved into 814 had a BMW. He parked in my space. I knocked on his door and asked him to move it. He was irritated but complied so I could put my pos car there. Next time he misparked he had his tires on the white line. I supposed that he wanted to argue about whether or not he was in his space. I parked my Subaru Sidekick so close to his Beemer that he couldn't back out without his mirror hitting my mirror, which would have done megabucks damage to the beemer. I was 100% between the lines. I slept in as late as possible the next day. He never misparked again.

 

I had another neighbor who would have their guests park anywhere and all leave for the day. I released the parking brake on the convertible that was in my space and put it in neutral. It rolled out and blocked the whole drive through.

[Duffield, SASS #23454]

A couple of my wife's friends went the extra mile to trash me during my divorce. I bought them a subscription to The Advocate, which is a Gay/Lesbian magazine. I am given to understand that it was a very effective payback.

[Bugs Bonney SASS # 10171]

Actually the best one I ever dreamed up was never pulled off because I couldn't get anyone to help me pull it off. The neighborhood I lived in in the Chicago Suburbs was a mix of working class Polish and Italians. In the early 60's when central air conditioning was a rare thing in any house the folks would sit on their front porches in the evening after work and cool off. My diabolical plan was to do a fake drive by. Have one guy walking down the street with a sport coat on over a white shirt smeared with katsup. Car drives down the street slowly pulls up along side of him and a double barreled shotgun appears. Two shotgun blasts (blanks aimed well away from the "victum"), he throws open his coat and falls to the ground. Several guys pile out of the car drag the "body" in and speed off. My chicken s**t buddies just wouldn't go along with this one.

 

Bugs

[Tascosa, SASS# 24838]

W-A-Y back in Albuq., NM, I was divorced but my best friend was married and his wife was VERY jealous! I was in the Caravan (bar and dance hall) and walked up to a table of 5 good looking girls. I asked one to dance, she accepted and while dancing she said she couldn't get tickets to the rodeo that week. I told her I knew where to get free tickets and to call me tomorrow morning and I woud set up free tickets for all of them. I told her I was Bob ****** and gave her my phone number ( My friends home number) and told her to call me. I also told her if my secretary answered just mention that you met me and we spent a wonderful day together and dont take any guff from her.........................

The next day about 10:30 AM I got a very angry call and was told in no uncertain terms to come to his house and tell his wife it was a joke,which I promptly did since he could shoot as well as I could.

To this day Bob still doesn't laugh about that!!! Absolutely no sense of humor!!

Tascosa

[Lightning Ross #47853]

Put an add in the local paper divorce causes sale with a very low price for a 1972 mustang. I work swing shift call between 12pm and 2 am. His wife didnt like it much. He didnt work swing and she wanted to know who he was divorcing.

 

Put a dead fish under the back seat of a guys car ala Grumpy old men movie.

 

Let my kids stay up eating pop corn and watching movies till 2am. Next morning A Saturday got them up to catch the school buss. They stood out there for an hour until they realized it was April fools day. Had a lot of greased toilet seats and shaving cream on top of my hot chocolate after that.

[Guest Henry Horns SASS #19579L]

Had a female friend call my recently divorced PITA co-worker claiming she was from the local office of Parents without Partners. She told him there had been several complaints of Herpes from women he had dated and would he please go to the Dr. and get checked out. He never discovered the culprits.

[Blackwater 53393]

I would NOT recomend anyone doing either of these, but in each instance it was a case of well deserved revenge.

 

I had just had a little hot rod painted and drove it to work. The parking lot was gravel and one of the guys I worked with traced WASH ME in the resulting dust that settled on the new paint on the hood of the car. I found out who did it and demanded that he polish out the damage which he refused to do. There was a house adjoining the parking lot and one morning a few days later I put the garden hose in his slightly opened car window, turned on the water, and went in to work. Country Squire Fishtank!!

 

A similar incident with my pride and joy old Harley resulted in this one. Most cell phone services have an auto assist feature included that includes free towing for a limited distance. I called my auto assist and had the culprit's car towed to a garage owned by a friend of mine. Then I had the garage owner call the guy and tell him his car was ready and the bill was several hundred dollars. He doesn't mess with peoples vehicles any more. Finally told him a couple of months later.

 

Tool box drawers full of styrofoam peanuts are for those who pull off good natured pranks.

 

I ocasionally slip a black powder or sparkler shotgun shell in a friends belt at a local match.

 

And yeah, I do have a sense of humor when it doesn't involve very expensive paint jobs and the like.

[Yellowhouse Sam # 25171]

A pair of panties, bra, and maybe a condom stashed in buddies glove compartment can have elicit sometimes permanent separations. Wives don't think its funny and its really hard to explain. They really don't believe you when you're coerced to come confess to her that you did it.

 

Back when car hoods could be opened by anyone, a dead armadillo laid on top of romeo's engine manifold worked wonders.

 

My all time fun raiser in college involved products from joke/prank stores in the form of artifical farts. This stuff would peel paint and permeate everything around. And you could buy a small bottle of the liquid itself. Capillary tubes like used in most laboratories are a perfect delivery system. Just dip into the joy juice and seal ends with wax. Put them in a cigarette pack for ease of access.

 

They are a hoot to use on buddies but even better when there is a know it all trying to impress the girls at bars. All you do is ease over to the action and drop a few of those tubes strategically on the floor. It won't be long until someone breaks one and guess who the gags, retches, and angry comments will be directed at?

 

And if you're buddy is trying to muscle in on the girl you've picked...just reach over and give him a playful tap right in the cigarette pack.

 

Believe me, in crowd full of drunks, you'll never see more hilarious looks, comments, and it.....well its a barrel of fun.

[Rye Miles #13621]

I had a neighbor one time who like to play practical jokes on us neighbors. He once poured some kind of mud in the soap bucket that I was using to wash my car when I went inside the house fer sumthin. I was not happy about that. Well as they say paybacks are a bitc^&. One night at midnight me and my cousin egged his house. It was pretty funny to see him, his wife and his nasty teenage daughter out there the next day scrubbing off the dried eggs.

 

Needless to say he knew it was me and never played a joke on me again, fact is he never even talked to me again!

[Iron Pony]

Not going to say how I know but putting someones license plates on upside down is a guranteed traffic stop from any LEO who picks up on it. Nice thing is if the person is a jackass to the officer, has outstanding paperwork etc it will not be a good day for them.

[Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428]

We had a BOss that we didn't much care for when I worked at a Target while going to college. She took a weekend off (bad idea) and we painted her office for her. We did it very professionally, and it was a fine paint job. Of course there was the fact that we had taken pepto bismol to the local hardware store and had it colormatched. It was so awful it almost made you sick to stand in the room! I got blamed for this one, and I proudly accepted because it was funny. Even funnier when the regional bosses showed up Monday morning for a meeting and they ended up sitting in that pink room all morning. Took a lot of coats of paint to cover that pink!

 

 

And then there was the time that some genius (wasn't me, I wish I was this devious) popped the "k" and "j" keys off the keyboard and reversed them in the shipping office of the same Target store. NObody back there was a typist, tey all just did the "hunt and peck" thing. They started complaining that everytime they tried to type a "K", they got "J". They couldn't figure it out and finally had to call in the district regional computer guy. He figured it out, laughing, and we all got another lecture about the evils of practical jokes.

[Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217]

Right after I got divorced a friend of mine sent my picture into a singles thing in the local newspaper, without my knowledge. I started getting letters and pictures from all these women, they even sent pictures of their cats. Evidently, he said I liked long moonlit walks on the beach, cats, and hanging out at the Mall.

 

 

Payback:

 

He and I look alike, so I got a bunch of his business cards. Then I'd hang out at the local watering hole and give his business cards out to the biggest/ugliest woman I could find. I'd even tell them to stop by when they were in the area. They'd stop by his office to visit. His wife really got a kick out of it.

 

 

LL'

Wow!

 

I hope I've never crossed you!

 

With Utmost Regards,

 

Allie Mo