TN Williams: he never learns

[Widder, SASS #59054]

Poor ole feller, he just don't know when to shut up.

 

As some of you know, TW is a pretty good builder/welder, etc.....

He and another feller share a business but often times, his business partner ask TW to build something

for him.

Well, after a few weeks of labor, TW completed a nice rod iron, steel entrance gate for part of the guys property.

It is a super heavy gate and simply put, TW popped his elbow out of place putting up the gate.

 

Here's his dilemma:   He goes to the doctor this week because of his injured elbow.  And like any good wife,

Mrs. TW goes with him.  And she is a good sweet person.

After examination, the Doc gives him a prescription and puts his arm in a sling.  

The Doc tells TW that if he keeps his

arm/elbow immobilized for a few days, it should get better.

 

TW says..... 'You got one of them slings for my wife's mouth'.     And that's when the fight started.

 

He's lucky it ain't raining in middle TN this week cause his dog house has a leaking roof..... 

 

Another true story.   Ya just can't make this stuff up.

 

..........Widder

 

[Widder, SASS #59054]

When Admiral Zumwalt was CNO of the Navy, he initiate what was called 'Z-grams'.

 

The Z-grams were used to make and/or clarify Navy policies on nearly everything.....Clothing, hair styles

and hair length, mustaches, sideburns, etc.........

Each Z-gram was assigned a chronological number so that all of us could keep up with them.

 

It might be more appropriate if we just create TW-grams to chronicle these life episodes of TW

and all the trouble he manages to be in.

 

The above would probably be TW-gram 101.     And he ain't even 50 years old yet.

 

..........Widder

 

[Lawdog]

Ain't even 50?

 

Aw heck Widder, he's just a kid. Don't be too hard on him.

 

He'll get nightmares and "accidents" in the night.

 

 

 

[Tennessee williams]

Here's the gate in question. It's the same on the front and back. I thought it was 250-300 pounds each panel. I put it on the scale and it was only 194lbs each side. Each side is 4x7.5ft. It was awkward to carry and a ligament or tendon or something went haywire. It hurt. I'm not as strong as I used to be. Luckily, smell isn't everything and I'm still pretty. I'll post a picture of myself once the black eye heals.

[Widder, SASS #59054]

I noticed you had  a 'shiner' on that right eye, but I didn't ask you about it cause

I prefer to mind my own business..... 

 

..........Widder

 

[Tennessee williams]

1 minute ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

I noticed you had  a 'shiner' on that right eye, but I didn't ask you about it cause

I prefer to mind my own business..... 

 

..........Widder

 

I aint the only one what has a black eye. That Dr has one too. When I asked him about a mouth strap for the wife, he said they was out of large size and only had a small and medium. 

That's when she nailed both of us.

[Widder, SASS #59054]

I heard it didn't even bruise her knuckles.  

 

..........Widder

 

[Michigan Slim]

I need to get my bride a readin this stuff. She won't wonder where I got it. She would ban me from the Saloon though.

[Widder, SASS #59054]

TW,

thanks for posting a pix of that gate.   I know it sounds odd, but some of the Wire Pards

might have thought I made up this story and it would have bruised my honor.

 

Whats sad, is that 144 folks have read this thread and NOBODY has inquired about your arm

or wished you any 'Get Well' words, especially any of the Cowgirls.

 

I guess you ain't as pretty as you thought!   OR, they want to make sure they don't make your

Bunkhouse Boss mad at them..... 

 

..........Widder

 

[Alpo]

5 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

completed a nice rod iron, steel entrance gate

I've been trying to decide if that was a typo. I've heard of wrought iron, but never rod iron. Iron rods, but not rod iron. I'm trying to visualize a rod iron gate I came up with something in my head that looked like it was made out of rebar. Which is not what that gate looks like.

 

 

[Eyesa Horg]

Well OK then, hope your arm heals quickly. Make sure that Widder fella keeps ya in nanner splits while you're sufferin' 

Edited August 23, 2023 by Eyesa Horg
Otto

[Widder, SASS #59054]

24 minutes ago, Alpo said:

I've been trying to decide if that was a typo. I've heard of wrought iron, but never rod iron. Iron rods, but not rod iron. I'm trying to visualize a rod iron gate I came up with something in my head that looked like it was made out of rebar. Which is not what that gate looks like.

 

 

 

Hey Alpo.   Rod Iron is a special metal formulated and created in Murfreesboro, TN....... TW's home town.

 

Its a combination of iron ore and Acoustic Marble found in abundance in a small place outside Knoxville.

Some fancy, know it all TVA Engineer formulated its composites a few years back and its just kept

locally.    TW, as part of the business he owns, uses it all the time in his metal work.

 

Needless to say, he is also a Blacksmith.  Knows his skill.   I've suspected that some of his gun parts

have been produced with 'Rod Iron' because they never break and he has told me before that he

doesn't have to worry about them rusting either.

 

Wire Pards and SASS members just think of him as just an ordinary World Champion Duelist (Double Duelist).

But back home here in TN, his reputation goes beyond Dairy Queen.

 

..........Widder

 

 

[Cypress Sun]

Know what you tell a TN Williams with a blackeye? 

 

Nothin'. His wife done told him once already.

[Widder, SASS #59054]

15 minutes ago, Cypress Sun said:

Know what you tell a TN Williams with a blackeye? 

 

Nothin'. His wife done told him once already.

 

Poor boy never learnt to duck.

 

..........Widder

 

[John Kloehr]

You should have just explained to her that what you meant by the request was that fixing her mouth meant... Never mind, you are screwed no matter what.

 

On edit: Keep us posted on your eye.

Edited August 23, 2023 by John Kloehr

[Blackwater 53393]

Ol’ TW needs to learn about keeping his eyes open and his pie hole closed!!

[Widder, SASS #59054]

He took time today to buy her a nice anniversary present and take her out for supper.

 

P.S. - their anniversary ain't till January.   I think he bought her a new Ironing Board

and one of them steam irons.

 

..........Widder

 

[Tyrel Cody]

8 hours ago, Tennessee williams said:

and I'm still pretty. 

You should see an optometrist (Widder, that’s a  fancy word for an eye doctor) as soon as possible.

 

 

Hope the arm heals up quickly and and of course the black eye goes away soon.

[Blackwater 53393]

TW’s mama tolt him he was purty when he was a kid.  He didn’t listen to the rest of what she was sayin’!

 

I have it on good authority that the entire statement went something like, “Yer purty ugly and purty likely to get worse!”

 

BUT!! He often still only hears what he wants to hear.

 

‘N’ I ain’t makin’ it up, neither!

[Tennessee williams]

A feller shore aint gotta worry about enemies when he's used to putting up with friends like yall!

[Tennessee williams]

5 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

Hey Alpo.   Rod Iron is a special metal formulated and created in Murfreesboro, TN....... TW's home town.

 

Its a combination of iron ore and Acoustic Marble found in abundance in a small place outside Knoxville.

Some fancy, know it all TVA Engineer formulated its composites a few years back and its just kept

locally.    TW, as part of the business he owns, uses it all the time in his metal work.

 

Needless to say, he is also a Blacksmith.  Knows his skill.   I've suspected that some of his gun parts

have been produced with 'Rod Iron' because they never break and he has told me before that he

doesn't have to worry about them rusting either.

 

Wire Pards and SASS members just think of him as just an ordinary World Champion Duelist (Double Duelist).

But back home here in TN, his reputation goes beyond Dairy Queen.

 

..........Widder

 

 

Widder, everybody knows that. Knoxville used to have the nickname Marble city because of its reputation of being a hotspot for marble in the early 1900s. Matter of fact, they still process it there. My company is the only one in the US that lays claim to the integration of marble into a specific steel alloy I wont name to create what we call Rod Iron. It has that name because it is a very good product to adorn the top of a lightning rod with as decoration due to its malliability as well as its inate ability to attract lightning. I sell to one company that uses this material for the body of their wolf calls. I'm not allowed to mention the company name due to an affidavit I signed, but folks say there's not another call that can cry wolf with better effect. But, I do have to be careful working in the forge creating this Rod Iron due to the fact I've caught several pairs of pants on fire. I don't know why.

[Smuteye John SASS#24774]

Bless their hearts!

[Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646]

You really cant make this stuff up

 

Imis

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

13 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

Poor boy never learnt to duck.

 

..........Widder

 

I learned to duck.  My wife learned to feign with one hnd and when i ducked I met the other fist coming in.

 

That's when I learned to shut up.

 

Since she passed away I've pulled most of my mouthy skills out of storage and now say pretty much what I want, where I want, and to whomsoever I want.  It's cost me some friends but brought some more into the fold.

 

'Tall levels out in the long run.

[Yul Lose]

[WD Farren]

This is more fun than most everything on Netflix.

Edited August 24, 2023 by bgavin

[Widder, SASS #59054]

Hey YUL,

The best place for TW to keep his guns is with his money..... in the oven or bottom of the 

laundry basket.   The Bunkhouse Boss will never find em there.

 

bgavin:  ya might need a bigger box.  

 

..........Widder

 

Edited August 24, 2023 by Widder, SASS #59054

[Texas Maverick]

22 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

TW,

thanks for posting a pix of that gate.   I know it sounds odd, but some of the Wire Pards

might have thought I made up this story and it would have bruised my honor.

 

..........Widder

 

or ego. LOL

 

TM

[Texas Maverick]

16 hours ago, Tennessee williams said:

A feller shore aint gotta worry about enemies when he's used to putting up with friends like yall!

Well they always say keep your friends close but your enemies closer and I think you have done a good job at that. 

 

TM

[Blackwater 53393]

In this arena, if you ain’t pokin’ fun at yer friends, you ain’t likely to have near as much fun!!

 

Takin’ a joke is a sign of how much you’ve growed up and countin’ how many folks makes fun of ya’ is how to tell how many friends you’ve got!

 

The rougher they are on ya’ , the more of a friend they are!!

 

Ol’ TW reminds me of that scene in El Dorado when Mississippi says, “Friends! I have a multitude of friends.”

[Blackwater 53393]

3 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

In this arena, if you ain’t pokin’ fun at yer friends, you ain’t likely to have near as much fun!!

 

Takin’ a joke is a sign of how much you’ve growed up and countin’ how many folks makes fun of ya’ is how to tell how many friends you’ve got!

 

The rougher they are on ya’ , the more of a friend they are!!

 

Ol’ TW reminds me of that scene in El Dorado when Mississippi says, “Friends! I have a multitude of friends.”

 

But he STILL don’t know when to keep his pie hole closed or when ta’ duck!

[Smuteye John SASS#24774]

37 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

 

But he STILL don’t know when to keep his pie hole closed or when ta’ duck!

Now, in his defense, that Lodge skillet is usually moving at a pretty good clip, so he ain't got a whole lot of time to choose a direction.

[Widder, SASS #59054]

Well, the saga never ends.   Now there is MORE to the story.

 

So this afternoon, TW goes back to his doctor for another followup check on his elbow.

 

While waiting in the 'waiting area', this big lady comes in and sits down to wait also.

'BIG' as in a few hundred pounds.

After a few minutes, she ask TW..... 'Are you here for the weight loss program?"

 

TW replies.....'NO.  Are you here for the Lippo-Suction program?".

 

The big lady says....."I think you mean 'Liposuction'.

 

TW says... "No.  Lippo-suction.   Its for people who have big lips and don't know how to mind their

own fat business".

 

Needless to say,  that ended that conversation real fast.

 

..........Widder

 

[Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646]

How about a new alias?- N. Stigator

 

Imis

[Widder, SASS #59054]

1 hour ago, Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 said:

How about a new alias?- N. Stigator

 

Imis

 

Don't you mean.... TN. Stigator? 

 

No, that won't work cause he is more of a Vol and Crimson Tide fan and don't really

like those Gators. 

 

..........Widder