Sedalia Dave Posted March 13, 2023 Posted March 13, 2023 2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: That's why they have radios. 3 2 Quote
Alpo Posted March 13, 2023 Posted March 13, 2023 3 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said: That's why they have radios. You might outrun my old Chevrolet But you can't outrun my old two-way I wear a hat just like a Mountie I'm the sheriff of Boone County And you're in a heap of trouble boy Old, old song 5 Quote
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted March 13, 2023 Posted March 13, 2023 8 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: 3 2 4 Quote
John Kloehr Posted March 13, 2023 Posted March 13, 2023 2 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said: Superb craftsmanship. As strong as the nails holding it together 2 5 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 14, 2023 Posted March 14, 2023 Julia tells her husband, "James, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?" "Gosh," James says, "why I hardly know the girl." 1 5 Quote
Gateway Kid SASS# 70038 Life Posted March 14, 2023 Posted March 14, 2023 4 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: His face looks a little pink. Would his name be Floyd by any chance? Regards Gateway Kid 3 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 15, 2023 Author Posted March 15, 2023 An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men. The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement." "And what about the men?" the minister asked. "They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.' 2 8 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 15, 2023 Author Posted March 15, 2023 https://www.facebook.com/reel/539687554935339?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e 3 Quote
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted March 15, 2023 Posted March 15, 2023 (edited) Edited March 15, 2023 by Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 1 8 Quote
Forest Gun Germany Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 (edited) edited: Sorry, the automatic translator played a trick on me. it means: these incompetent ones, I ordered a new black BBQ smoker 20230316_074933.mp4 Edited March 16, 2023 by Forest Gun Germany First in german 3 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 Long time friends Sylvia & Wanda meet up in Heaven!! SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?... SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive. 1 6 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 57 minutes ago, Forest Gun Germany said: Bei diesen Verlierern habe ich mir meinen neuen BBQ Smoker in schwarz bestellt 20230316_074933.mp4 ...... can we have a translation ........ please 1 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: ...... can we have a translation ........ please Maybe “I ordered my new BBQ smoker in black from these losers” Edited March 16, 2023 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 2 1 Quote
Forest Gun Germany Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 1 hour ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: ...... can we have a translation ........ please i fixed it 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 “Losers” is American slang for “Incompetent ones” 1 Quote
Brazos John Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 6 hours ago, Forest Gun Germany said: edited: Sorry, the automatic translator played a trick on me. it means: these incompetent ones, I ordered a new black BBQ smoker 20230316_074933.mp4 That would be a big smoker even in Texas! But, yes, black is the traditional color. White will be stained from the smoke. Danke. 1 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 16, 2023 Author Posted March 16, 2023 6 hours ago, Forest Gun Germany said: edited: Sorry, the automatic translator played a trick on me. it means: these incompetent ones, I ordered a new black BBQ smoker 20230316_074933.mp4 Perfect! That will hold 4 racks! 5 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 10 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Maybe “I ordered my new BBQ smoker in black from these losers” 8 hours ago, Forest Gun Germany said: i fixed it ThankYou Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 16, 2023 Posted March 16, 2023 There were three people approaching the gates of heaven, but there was only one place left. The gatekeeper asked the first man what happened to him because the one with the worst death would go in. The first man said: "Well, imagine this. I expected my wife was having an affair, so I got home early to surprise her. I found her in the bathroom with a towel around her so I knew she wasn't having a shower I searched the apartment and found 10 fingers hanging from the window sill. So I started bashing away at them. When he fell, God must have loved him, because he lived. So I threw a refrigerator at him. After all the excitement I died of a heart attack." That's horrific said the gatekeeper, he asked the second man how he died and he said. "Well, imagine this. I was riding one of those stationary bikes on the top of our apartment building but it went wrong I fell down and grabbed someone's window sill. Then some idiot started bashing at my fingers then I fell, but God must have loved me because I lived. Then -SHANNOOOWWWW- a refrigerator plunged down at me" That is too horrific. He asked the third man how he died and he said. "Well imagine that. I was naked in a refrigerator 2 Quote
Brazos John Posted March 17, 2023 Posted March 17, 2023 9 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Shocking!!! 1 Quote
Eyesa Horg Posted March 17, 2023 Posted March 17, 2023 (edited) 9 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Shocking, somebody's gonna blow a fuse. Brazos beat me to it!!! Edited March 17, 2023 by Eyesa Horg 1 1 Quote
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